


Let Sleeping Blood Lie

by JammyJamFan



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Angst, Drugs, F/F, Fighting, Fraternities & Sororities, Government Conspiracy, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Mystery, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-10-28 09:03:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 87,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10828098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JammyJamFan/pseuds/JammyJamFan
Summary: The scene bothered her more than she admitted to anyone. Young male victim, all-boys university campus, lying under the monument in the centre of the park." Drama, suspense, hazing, drugs, crimes, fights, blackmail, kidnapping & murder...this layered mystery HAS IT ALL. Jane must investigate despite the mysterious clues, stonewalling and very real danger. M. bits of rizzles.This is my own story and plot.





	1. The setup

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing Rizzoli and Isles  
> I welcome all reviews  
> thank you for reading :)

 

"Do you know who is looking for you, Jane?" the voice is harsh and gruff, the question is rhetorical but she couldn't answer even if she wanted. "No-one" she can hear the glee in his tone. The thought no-one is looking for her is painful. She has no idea what her captors have done.

Suddenly, her stomach jumps into her throat as the feet of the chair are kicked out from under her lurching her backwards, that feeling of rocking on the back of the chair at the kitchen table before losing you balance and falling backwards, the surprise, the fear, the shock. She jolts to a stop halfway to the ground with a loud metallic clang as back of her chair crashes into the metal cart behind her.

She can see the white cloth as it descends down onto her covering her entire face. The cloth moves up and down on her mouth frantically, forced by her rushed breathing, fear gripping her tighter.

"It's a big club Jane, and you're not in it" The voice is inches from her ear, and the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Goosebumps begin to cover her entire body.

She can't see, she has no idea what will happen, and no one is looking for her. Her heart constricts, it could only be describes as a heart attack and she struggles hard against the ropes that hold her, wriggling her entire body. She wants to cry out in frustration but the lump in her throat is making it hard enough to even breathe. How did she think she would be ok. How did she think she could even get out of this.

The heavy weight of the ice cold water hitting her nose and cheeks and mouth spreading across her chin and forehead. The shock grips her first. She can't breathe. The water invades her eyes, her nose, her mouth. She fought down the first, and some of the second wave of nausea and terror. Gaging uncontrollably. Unable to determine whether she was breathing in or out, wheezing and coughing, flooded more with sheer panic than with mere water. A horrible sensation of smothering and claustrophobia.

Her brain screaming as well as her lungs for air, her nostrils burning, her stomach clenching tightly, painfully, trying to force air into her lungs.

She couldn't breath, she couldn't think. Her lungs burned, she was sure her eyes were closed but she could still see the light disappearing as the room and everything in it vanished. Everything went black.

 

* * *

_5 days earlier_

She drummed her fingers on the counter, absentmindedly, repeatedly. Her mind was somewhere else, working away on it's own. She was unaware of the annoyance her tapping was making.

"Janie, are you ok?" asked Angela, she knew her daughter well and knew something must be up.

"Yeah Ma", Jane replied

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Nothin Ma'."

"Janie, I just don't believe you!" Angela throws her hands up in annoyance.

Jane stopped drumming her fingers, only just realizing she had been answering at all, her mind had been so far away she was on auto-pilot.

"W-what?" Jane stammers

"What's wrong baby?" Angela asks again, concerned more than before

Jane tries to get her thoughts in order, pushes her hand through the hair and picks up a cherimoya out of Maura's fruit bowl, just for something to distract her. _Maura always has strange stuff in her house_ she thought.

Studying the prickly fruit intently Jane finally responds, "I am contemplating the mysteries of the universe Ma"

Angela walks past the counter slapping Jane on the arm, just hard enough to let her daughter know that she isn't fooled.

"Where is Maura?' Jane queries finally. She is going to be late for work if they don't leave soon.

Angela glances towards the stairs and gives a nod indicating to Jane that she is upstairs.

"Are you going to tell me whats wrong, Janie?

Jane hops off the barstool and heads towards the stairs calling over her shoulder "Nope"

* * *

 

She takes the stairs two at a time, stalks down the hall and stops short of Maura's bedroom door. "Are you decent?" Jane calls out tapping twice and pushing the door open without waiting for an answer.

Maura looks up as Jane enters, she is in fact decent, and she smiles warmly at Jane,

"Morning Jane. How are you?

Jane grunts rubbing her hair, "Morn' Maura. Fine". It always feels weird greeting someone when you only saw them a few hours ago, she isn't sure why, maybe she just doesn't like greetings much.

Maura carries on with her morning routine, putting the final touches on her makeup.

Jane watches Maura wondering how she looks so perky and well rested considering they were at a crime scene till 3am. Home in bed around 4am. And almost ready to be picked her up at 8am. Jane feels like she didn't sleep a wink and is sure she looks exactly how she feels. The plan was to give Maura a ride as Maura left her car at the crime scene last night, they plan to pick it up on the way to work as Jane wants to revisit the scene during daylight hours anyway.

* * *

The scene had bothered her more than she admitted to anyone. Young male victim, in a school university on all-boys university campus of the school he belonged to, lying under the monument in the centre of the park. The victim had strange scars that resembled symbols on his legs and torso, some looked a little like pentagrams, they could have been self-inflicted, they were badly done but they weren't recent. Some looked like the could have even been branded by fire. And the victim 'Hamish Jones' was wearing a strange ring with a G on it and some symbols, a compass and possibly a set square, behind the letter.

No one knew exactly what had happened, no witnesses came forward despite the entire school being aware of the BPD's arrival at 1:40am, the security guard had missed the body until 1am even though time of death was approximately 10pm. The school's curfew was 9:30pm.

According to Maura the body had been moved and it's also likely the guard messed the crime scene before they arrived. The only thing the victim had on him was a student I.D. She received a call at 2:20 am from Cavanaugh that she was not to talk to the press, and to report everything to him as it was found, which was a tad unusual. The father , who did sound upset, was out of town and diverted them to his lawyer who wasn't answering his phone at 2:50am, no surprise there. It was all rather strange and it was only just beginning.

* * *

"Whats taking so long Maur', you're gonna be in the morgue all day in your pretty boy scrubs cutting open the vic from last night. Do you have to look so pretty?" Jane finally blurts, her patience wearing thin and her desperate caffeine withdrawal symptoms showing.

Maura laughs, "Are you calling me pretty Jane?"

Realising the way it sounds and too tired to come up with an effective comeback, Jane just shrugs. "I need coffee" she groans.

"Have one downstairs"

"I can't work your thing-a-magi-gee" Jane whines throwing her arms up in frustration and throwing herself face down on Maura's bed.

Maura finishes up and packs up grabbing her bag and scarf, walks past her bed and runs her hand up Jane's calf to let her know she is ready to go.

"Finally!" is the muffled sound coming from her bed.

She jumps up "Starbucks now..." and races out of the room like an speed runner giving Maura a tiny slap on the butt as she passes.

...

 

to be continued


	2. The Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Rizzoli and Isles  
> I welcome all reviews   
> thank you for reading :)

The crime scene visit reveals only one extra clue they hadn't found last night, a piece of crumpled paper with an obscure address on it a few meters from the body's location, which may or may not be related to the case and the wind could have blown it there. It looks like the dirt has been disturbed near where the body was but it's impossible to tell if it was just students from the day before. She photographs it anyway.

Same as last night, no shoe prints, no blood, no prints.

Maura stands close to Jane, it's windy and she seeks shelter from Jane's body. She didn't want to leave Jane at the scene but knows she won't be of much help.

"This is a strange place to leave a body don't you think?" Jane ponders mostly to herself.

Maura looks around, the obelisk is in the middle of the campus, exposed other than a tree a few meters away. The tree is covered in markings made from students expressing thoughts and emotions for all time. Across the quad about 15 meters behind the obelisk is a brown stone building with a side door and no windows. Nothing looks out of the ordinary to Maura.

Jane takes a few more photo's, one of some markings on the tree that look fresh, an 'm' with a line under it, one of a branch with grooves about 4 meters up that looks like it had something tied to it at some stage, and a few of the monument itself. "Lux Et Veritas" She reads off the plaque insignia.

"Light and truth", Maura translates from behind her.

"Mmmm. What is this thing anyway?" Jane asks waving her hand at the monument.

"It's an Obelisk Jane." Maura steps closer to Jane, and gently takes her elbow to get closer, the wind is brutal today.

"What, like from Asterix and Obelix" Jane scratches her head giving the obelisk a once over look.

"In a sense yes, Obelix's name is a pun on the French word obélisque, suggested by his rotund physique and his habit of casually carrying heavy stone monuments called a menhir around with him. A menhir is a single tall standing stone as a monument, especially of prehistoric times while an obelisk is a tall, square, tapered, stone monolith topped with a pyramidal point, frequently used as a monument. The Washington monument is an obelisk, there is also one at the Vatican. However the original o-'bel'-isk actually means the 'shaft of Bel'"

"What does that mean?"

"The obelisk is a phallic symbol, It is 'Baal's organ of reproduction'."

"Ewww" Jane scowls wishing she could un-hear that

Maura continues "Esoterically, The ancient Babylonianians used it with sun worship"

They stand in silence for a moment, deep in thought.

"What did you mean, it was a strange place to leave a body?" Maura queries, her curiosity finally getting too much.

"It's so exposed here, anyone walking or driving round here would have seen something, If you were going to kill someone here you'd surely be seen." Jane turns around with her arm out to demonstrate the lack of privacy.

"Oh, I see." Maura feels a bit silly she hadn't though of that, "He wasn't killed here though Jane, the body was moved."

"Yeah, speaking of that, lets go check out the body", Jane grins putting her camera away linking her arm through Maura's turning them towards their cars in the carpark only 15 meters away.

* * *

Maura finished her autopsy and was putting the finishing touches on her report when Jane came down.

"What did ya' find doc?" she smiles at Maura while trying to make herself comfortable on one of Maura's new expensive pieces of furniture.

Maura clears her throat before beginning, "Well, there are some strange things?"

"Things Maur'? Thats not very technical of you." She smiles to herself

Maura glares at her, "Jane, their are certain perplexing incongruous anomalies..."

Jane's mouth opens slowly her eyes focusing, "Strange...things...right"

"The toxicology report revealed extremely high levels of benzoylmethylecgonine."

"Cocaine overdose... and someone dumped him there so there was no links" Jane begins to speculate.

"No, the Injection sites were.."

"What do you mean NO?" Jane interrupts looking very upset.

"...I wasn't done."

Jane waves her hand for Maura to continue and crosses her arms.

"The injection sites were inter-muscular, in the deltoid muscle, and the vastus lateralis, these are not typical locations as it has a high risk of infection, plus there would be no euphoria so users would consider it a wasted shot. These sites are also harder to reach."

"So what, He had never used before and didn't know what he was doing?"

"He had help Jane."

"Speculating Maura?" Jane pulls a shocked look, her eyes wide.

"Conjecture"

Jane twists again trying to get more comfortable slapping the cushion into shape.

"So someone helped him overdose and left him to be found."

"I'm still not done Jane."

"Arghhh, fine...continue Dr. Death."

Maura hides a smile at Jane position, in the most uncomfortable looking position she had ever seen, so stubborn however, pretending she is comfy lying sideways with one leg over the back of the chair.

"The right side of his back was covered with scrapes, contusions, and debris on a single plane of injury."

"Meaning?" Jane shifted so both legs were over the back of the chair. She was still irritable from sleep deprivations and her third coffee fix had almost hit the spot but not quite.

"This means the damage had come from only one impact, against a broad, flat surface."

"Right?"

"He'd broken his pelvis, it was a mess of fragmented bone on the right side, corresponding to the contusions on his left hip. And he had a subarachnoid hemorrhage."

"OMG Maura, what killed him?" It was all too much for the irritated detective and the absurdly uncomfortable chair was the last straw.

Maura laughed and walked around her desk to sit beside Jane, pulling Jane's legs onto her lap and massaging her calves.

A sigh escaped Jane's lips, as the comfort instantly multiplied, she could have fallen asleep right there, she would have if Maura hadn't finished her verbal report

"He fell, he landed on his pelvis and smashed the stout pelvic girdle. He fell from at least four stories onto something very hard. The absence of a skull fracture, with intracranial bleeding occurs when the brain shakes back and forth inside the skull, shearing the delicate blood vessels on its surface. This relatively minor injury to the head was proof that it was the last part of his body to hit the ground. And the traumatized tissue around the injection sites showed up bright red, from vital reaction, which meant these injuries had been inflicted while his heart was still beating."

"English Maura" Jane whispered happy to not move.

"It was the fall that killed him"

Silence

"You have another crime scene to find Jane, unless you think a fall from a obelisk or tree killed him."

No response

"Jane?"

"Shhhh, I'm sleeping" Jane says unable to help the mischievous grin on her face.

Maura smiles back, "That wasn't any of the - strange things"

Jane cracks an eye open, "It all sounded really strange to me."

"There was blood in the stomach contents, we are analyzing it now but it will take time"

"That is strange, just five more minutes though" Jane whines

Maura continues to rub Jane's legs

"Have you found anything interesting, Jane"

Jane sighs in frustration at the case "Yes, no, I'm being stonewalled by everyone. The principle and the dean are both 'unavailable'. The Father of the victim still hasn't made contact. The lawyer is doing his own thing. And Korsak's phone is fused to his ear just trying to get info on the kids dorm and classes."

* * *

...to be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written characters are fictitious,   
> locations are real but written events did not happen at these locations   
> quotes are genuine and unaltered  
> Some persons referenced within the story are real people  
> Event's referenced in the story are likely real events  
> The plot is fictitious  
> the concepts are not...it's up to you to determine it's validity.


	3. Dealing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Rizzoli and Isles  
> I welcome all reviews   
> thank you for reading :)

Jane pokes her head into Maura's office, "I got the location of that address, wanna come check it out with me?" she gives Maura an irresistible smile raising her eyebrow slightly.

"Sure" Maura replies closing her laptop, "I am hungry anyway."

They head towards the car, Korsak plans to meet them there after he finishes speaking to the university principal.

* * *

"Jane" Maura sounds aghast, "crumbs!"

"Sorry" Jane mumbles still chewing her raspberry cream croissant and sweeps the crumbs off the seat.

"Next time we take your car. I can't believe you brought that, It can hardly be considered food let alone a nutritious meal." she scowls not hiding her disapproval

"It taste's amazing" Jane retorts

They are parked outside the address on the other side of the street, Korsak hasn't appeared yet, it's quiet anyway so they wait.

Its a derelict building with boarded up windows. Possibly should be condemned.

"So how are you going on the case?" Maura asks breaking the silence

Jane groans "Not great. Nothing really makes sense yet. And your 'strange stuff' doesn't fit with anything logical."

"You mean it doesn't fit with any of your widely speculative theories?"

Jane grins cheekily, "It does fit with one. But Korsak said a vampire wouldn't fall cause he would turn into a bat and fly to safety. But maybe his bat powers didn't work" She shugs meekly eyeing Maura out the corner of her eye.

Maura turns her head on the side evaluating if her best friend is teasing or serious.

"Oh look." Jane points Maura's attention to the few kids gathering across the street from them.

The group starts to congregate outside the front doors of the address in question, chatting and laughing. Jane eyes up the group for a few moments "Be right back." she says putting her gun in the glove box and her badge in her back pocket and exiting the car, Maura doesn't have time to respond before Jane is gone, she is left with her mouth wide open.

Jane struts towards the entrance, the group is mainly teenagers probably in high-school, all boys except one very young looking girl, two of the boys look a little older than the rest but not by much.

"Sup" Jane calls out assessing their body language. They don't look perturbed by her presence at all.

"Hey" one of the younger boys calls out, "looking for someone?"

Jane looks around cautiously, it's the middle of the day, these kids should be in school.

"Yeah" she replies looking directly at the oldest boy. He is casually dressed with blonde hair, thin lips pressed together.

"Yeah? What do you and your pretty girl over there need?" He doesn't break eye contact but nods in Maura's direction. It's a little game of control and evasion, no-one is quite sure what the other needs or knows, but these kids probably aren't smart enough to figure out Jane has no clue what to say to get their trust, but she is sure this guy is the leader of their little band. And she is sure this is a drug house of sorts. And considering their victim was shot up with coke it's probably a safe bet. She isn't sure if she should interrogate them about the victim lying in the morgue or about the drugs. She decides neither is best...

_Let's see what they know_

"I'm Jane" she smiles coyly, trying to give the air that it means something and they should know what she wants. The older boy glances at the younger boy giving away his nervousness.

"Uh..." the younger boy tries, he looks more confident than the other boy, jet black hair in a terrible mullet style, baggy clothes at least two sizes too big, he looks like he would be the troublemaker in his classes, "Whatcha need lady?" He would be a good looking boy if he dressed a bit better and had a haircut. Jane shakes her head slightly, her thoughts sounds like her Ma' and wants that image gone.

"I'm here about the stuff, I've um... been sent..." Jane bluffs, stabbing in the dark. She sniffs and rubs her nose with the back of her hand and checks around the street cautiously again. _Gotta look the part right._

The boys exchange looks

"Sam send ya?" the younger one ventures looking her up and down

"What do you think?" Jane gives them a sideways annoyed look and digs her hands in her pockets

The boys both visibly relax. The older boy smiles warmly completely changing his appearance, he is older than she thought, looks like he comes from a decent family, "Ahhh sure, yeah, come in." He gestures her inside. "Is she coming too?" Jane looks over her shoulder at Maura who is standing beside the car looking somewhat petrified. "Nuh, she's good. She will keep an eye out here." As Jane walks through the door, Maura's eyes begging her not too, even from this distance Jane can see the fear plainly in her friends features.

She steps inside cautiously, the place has almost no furniture and whats there is broken and doesn't smell pleasing. There are holes in almost every wall and two in the ceiling. The walls are bare and there are no lightshades. Power sockets hang off the wall and a few bare wires hang down in the corner. The only light source is a mangled lamp and the daylight seeping between the boards on the windows.

"Have a seat." the boy gestures towards a stained looking tub chair in front of a rocky desk, that has one leg is propped up on some probably-never-read books.

"Nuh I'll stands thanks...um..." She raises her eyebrow at him, he is new at this 'business', fresh, trying to hide it as best he can.

"Oh yeah, you can call me Blade." He says sitting down across from her, the desk between them.

"Blade"

"Yeah, so you're the transporter then?"

What the hell was she doing walking in without back-up, not knowing the situation.

"Sure" Jane says calmly looking around giving the appearance she is used to this type of thing.

She is starting to get a pretty good idea of whats going on, she has walked in on a new drug setup. She will transport the drugs probably, from A to B, so that they can get some traction without the police sniffing too hard.

"And the chick in the car? The boss said there was only gonna be one of ya."

"Yeah well, can't be too careful these days. Specially with an amateur setup like this ya know, trigger happy teenagers shot up on the merchandise most likely." Jane holds her breath, it was either a very wrong thing to say or they will assume she knows their inner workings.

The younger guy who has been standing near the door starts to look a little nervous, the boys make eye contact, and Jane tried to keep her composure.

"Just give it to her, Pete." the younger boy almost pleads beads of sweat on his forehead. She obviously hit the nail on the head, but the comment about them 'packing heat' being right has her nervously shifting between her feet especially since she is unarmed.

"Shut up!" Blade growls, his voice loud, obviously pissed his real name was just revealed.

_Either these guys are super amateur or playing way outside their league._

Jane tries to calm the situation, "It's cool Blade, I don't want no trouble, just set me up and i'm outta here."

Blade pulls a package out of the desk drawer, his eyebrows furrowed together. He stands up and slams it down on the desk.

"Tommorow 3pm. Don't be late" Blade points at the package

Jane just watches him calmly.

"I assume you know about the changes?"

"Changes?" Jane gulps, _damn_ , that could be the giveaway, get her made.

Blade runs his hand through his blonde sweaty matted hair, frustrated. He has not had enough experience to know how to handle this confidently, it had been Jane's saving grace up till this point.

"Shit" the boy pulls a few bits of paper out of the drawer, shuffles through them till he finds the one he needs, then hands it to Jane.

"Last minute I guess..." Blade shrugs at Jane apologetically.

"Yeah, for us both. It's all good." she smiles at him putting him at ease, picking up the package and shoving it under her top and heads towards the door. The younger boy steps out of the way for her, "Later" she calls over her shoulder.

"Tuesday same time." Blade calls after her.

The light blinds her as she emerges, squinting, she can make out Maura's Prius and heads towards it, she can see Maura's lips tight and brow creased through the window, she is not happy. She sees Korsak out of the corner of her eye getting out of his car, she makes eye contact then averts her eyes to the road and shakes her head slightly. He gets the message and climbs back in his car.

Jane opens her car door and shuffles inside depositing the package on the floor.

"Shit, shit shit" she breathes catching her breath, relief flooding her and her heart rate beginning to return to normal.

"What on earth?" Maura yells at her.

For a moment she isn't sure if Maura is mad she swore or went into the building, she assumes its the later but there is no time for a scene, the teenagers are back on the porch are watching them.

"Just drive Maur', please" she begs

* * *

Cavanaugh is pissed. The drug unit is pissed. Maura is pissed.

Korsak is half standing in front of Jane, physically trying to protect her from the verbal abuse Cavanaugh is throwing her way.

"Shit. I can only say how stupid that was so many times Jane" he screams, everyone in the bullpen frozen as the sound of his voice penetrates the walls of his office. He is frustrated and angry that Jane put herself in danger, and that the drug team wants to railroad the homicide to get to the kingpin drug dealer.

It was actually a stroke of genius Jane managed to so easily infiltrate their little business but now there was the politics to deal with. A high priority homicide of a rich kid with a prestigious daddy and a drug dealer possibly all tied up somehow.

Cavanaugh stares at Jane as if he can somehow change the situation this way.

Korsak clears his throat, "With the drug units help we can work both the drug case and the murder case, if one solves the other then everybody wins. Soon as we get hold of some drugs we can compare it to the case then question the dealers. These boys know Jane now so until her cover is broken she is their current point of contact. If you pull her out it's going to raise suspicion, we break those kids trust we are never going to get answers we need."

Cavanaugh says nothing, his face stern and his body tense, right now he is not a man you'd want to cross in a dark alley.

"Sir, without Jane going in there like she did the drug department wouldn't even know this was happening under their noses and that it might be linked to the school either." Korsak keeps trying.

The package sits in the middle of Cavanaugh's desk, opened. $30,000 neat inside. And they have instructions where to take it and where to pickup the drugs. They have 24hours to plan this thing.

Cavanaugh stares at Korsak, he knows he is right, but he still never expected his top detectives to be doing something so dangerous out of his department where he wouldn't be in charge.

"So long as the drug team is ok with it, then fine. You're both on undercover assignment."

He picks up the package and hands it to Jane.

"Those assholes better take care of you..." he fumes as he waves in Martinez from the bullpen.

* * *

...To be continued..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written characters are fictitious,   
> locations are real but written events did not happen at these locations   
> quotes are genuine and unaltered  
> Some persons referenced within the story are real people  
> Event's referenced in the story are likely real events  
> The plot is fictitious  
> the concepts are not...it's up to you to determine it's validity.


	4. The Drop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Rizzoli and Isles  
> I welcome all reviews   
> thank you for reading :)

Chapter 4 - The Drop

* * *

Jane was going to make the drop. No-one wanted her to do it including her, but they had to reduce the risks of discovery in case one of the teenagers happened to be there for some reason. There was the very real and very scary possibility the **real** 'courier' could have arrived at the house for the package and they had already have been made, that the 'boss' had already set them up to be captured or ... worse.

The drug unit was aware of all possibilities but it didn't reduce the risks any.

And being Jane she accepted the task as long as no-one told her Mother about it.

She had the package and the address with instructions.

_"42.339134, -71.067876  
Take the bus to stop 21158. Walk Plympton Street 115meters. Enter left between no.32 and 34. Red dumpster on the left in Alley behind building. Leave between 34 and 36. Walk to the end of road. Left on Albany to bus stop."_

Maura is going to be on hand in case she is needed. Cavanagh didn't really have a choice about that detail, unless he wan't to explain to the mayor why a new medical examiner would be needed at BPD. Maura had a way about her, she got what she wanted.

The plan was to drop off the cash and pickup the drugs package in the dumpster as per the instructions, the Drug squad would attempt to follow the cash when it is picked up back to what they hoped would be a solid lead.

It was eerily detailed. And she had one shot at this.

The drop location is between buildings off of a one way street that Jane walks up, so it is likely if the person is in a vehicle they will travel the opposite way that Jane walks. The person picking up the cash could be on scooter or foot. There are several potential routes within the first block alone, meaning they can't plan ahead. They have to be mobile and fast. And they have no idea how long between the drop and the pickup.

The teams had snipers on the rooftops, and cars in the parking complex opposite the alleys. Undercover agents wandering the street and the adjacent street in case the exit was through the buildings back entrances on the North side. The only place they couldn't get too without raising a lot of suspicion was the alley itself.

Jane was extensively briefed the drive to South End, Maura was traveling with them to drop Jane off, she held Jane's hand trying to be as reassuring as possible. She would meet Jane back at the safe-house all going well. Jane had her mic on and earpiece in. Maura was saying something but all she could hear was Martinez screaming instructions to everyone.

She had just asked Maura what she said when they arrived at the bus stop. It was 2:35pm and Martinez was ordering her to get out, the bus was barreling down the road towards them.

* * *

It was both the shortest and the longest bus ride in her life. She was alone in an instant as she stepped onto the bus, away from the eyes of her friends, alone with her thoughts, her hands perspiring, her face stanch eyes fixed on the stop only 200 meters away, making the 200 meter bus trip also the shortest.

She gets off at the next stop, behind her the bus driver frowning at her confused.

She heads down Plymton Street, she is already hot in the extra layers of Kevlar vest. Its 2:52pm when she reaches the location and she waits till 2:55pm to enter the off street area.

She rounds the corner into the alley checking behind her, spots the red dumpster and heads towards it eagerly, this cannot be over fast enough.

She is already grabbing the package out of the bag as she heads towards it, she looks up too late, there's a hooded man with his hands in his pockets in the alley, it almost looks like he was waiting for her, his head is down but despite the shadow on his face she can still see the whites of his eyes disappear as he looks at her, she isn't late she know's this. Suddenly he is on her pushing her backwards into the wall, hard, and grabs the package of money but she clutches it tightly while trying to get her balance. He raises his arm over his shoulder in a fist and in slow motion the fist moves towards her face, she dodges it and he smacks the wall, instantly crying out in pain at the broken knuckles.

"Jane what's going on?" She hears Martinez in her ear. He heard the commotion and the yelling. She grabs his collars pulling him towards her as her kneecap flies upwards connecting with the very sensitive parts between the mans legs.

"I'm fine" she tells Marteniz before he sends in the troops and blows the drop. "I'm fine" she says again to herself.

She feels a searing pain in her side just above her hip and looks down. He was so fast with the switchblade that she barely recovered in time to fight him off again, this time it's her elbow to the side of his face. He stumbles backwards, glaring at her, trying to decide what his odd's would be in a third round.

He starts hobbling away from her deciding the odds maybe not in his favour and she gratefully bends forward supporting her arms on her knees trying to catch her breath.

"There's...a..." she tries to speak coherently "...guy...on..his..way out..."

_Breathe Jane breathe_

"He hasn't got...the package...It's not him..."

"Are you ok, Jane?" Martinez asks again his concern coming across the radiowaves.

"Yeah...yeah...He...attacked me...I'm ok though."

"What was he doing in there with you?"

"Don't know..." Jane leans against the wall using her other arm to touch her side where he cut her. She hisses at the pain.

Martinez doesn't hear her as he is barking orders for the assailant to be detained the moment he is out of the hot zone.

Jane stumbles towards the dumpster, one hand on her hip the other the package. She struggles to get the top open and has to stand on an upturned bucket to get her torso over the side where she could see a shiny parcel. She drops the cash and grabs the drugs and heads South-east on Plymton Street, careful to walk as normal as possible so no one knows she's hurt.

Her part is done. Now it's the waiting game and then the hunt will be on. She sits on the bus kicking herself, that was embarrassing, really embarrassing, she was sure the cut wasn't that bad but damn she should it coming. She gets off the bus at the next stop and climbs into her waiting car, and drives the short drive to the safe-house.

As it turned out the guy in the alley wasn't involved in the deal. He was someone that lived nearby and had noticed the constant consistent activities and figured there must be something of value in the packages coming and going.

It was obvious at that point that these drug deals were not being done by very smart people. Same drop locations, same times of day, same days of the week...it wasn't a well oiled well thought out operation. But at least they hadn't been made. It wasn't great news for the drug unit who was hoping to catch a ring near the top of the food chain, but who knew where this might lead.

The runner entered the alley 15 minute after Jane left. They seemingly just appeared, possibly from a back door and entered the one way street heading north-west towards Harrison ave.

They followed the fit young male runner, he was pretty sly and had backtracked twice to try to loose any tails...but he wasn't sly enough. Two teams followed him as he arrived at a storage warehouse six blocks away. Several moments later he exited out the other side without the bag and wearing a different outfit.

They kept a tail on him. And a few blocks away he stopped by the coffee lounge for a coffee.

The warehouse was now standing between them and the drug trafficking outfit they assumed was inside. And hopefully one step closer to solving this homicide.

The warehouse itself had no markings, no indications of any type of what went on inside. They had already researched the location and found the owner of the lot was a very rich man, or at least he appeared to be, although suspiciously he only seems to have history dating back 5 years. And the tenants were varied with mostly fake names and addresses.

A name to pin it on was unlikely.

* * *

_Stupid stupid stupid_

She doused the cut in alcohol from the first aid kit the moment she got back inside her room, hissing as it stung. She wrapped it well to stop the bleeding and cleaned up the blood and put on some fresh clothes, Lay down on her cot to rest. It hadn't looked bad, it had stopped bleeding anyway. It was just a little itchy and tender. She tried to sleep for awhile.

 

The cocaine was at the lab being compared to what was in Hamish's system and the Drug Team was working on raiding the warehouse. She had nothing to do for the next few hours anyway.

Maura came in a bit later that evening and lay down gently beside Jane.

She noticed Jane flinch as she touched her side.

"Are you ok?"

Jane wrapped an arm around Maura "I'm great", she smiled, "I'm so glad that is over and hopefully I don't have to do anything else like that."

Maura smiled liking the idea of Jane not being in danger "I hope so too." A soft crease crosses Maura's face, "You smell like alcohol, Jane."

Jane laughs.

Maura turns to Jane and leans in very close to her, studying her friend, her eyes, her pupils, her breathing. The tension builds between them as they stare at each other silently.

Finally Jane pulls back, confused. For a moment she thought Maura might have been going to kiss her and somehow she wasn't appalled at the idea, but she hadn't.

Instead Maura whispered, "I was so worried about you today, I'm glad you were ok. I can't wait for this to be over so I can stop worrying about everyones safety." Her lips curl up in a soft smile enjoying the moment that is so safe.

Jane resolves not to add to Maura's worry by giving her a reason and instead rubs Maura's arm, "You don't have to worry about me Maur'." Smiling softly at her friend she envelopes her in a hug ignoring the pain in her side. They lay there enjoying the quiet and the peace between them, the tension missing. Eventually they both fell asleep

 

...to be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written characters are fictitious,   
> locations are real but written events did not happen at these locations   
> quotes are genuine and unaltered  
> Some persons referenced within the story are real people  
> Event's referenced in the story are likely real events  
> The plot is fictitious  
> the concepts are not...it's up to you to determine it's validity.


	5. The blunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Rizzoli and Isles  
> I welcome all reviews   
> thank you for reading :)

Chapter 5 - the blunder

* * *

Jane woke up sweating and thirsty and in pain, she moaned a little and covered her face with her arm waking Maura beside her.

"Are you unwell?" Maura asks immediately leaning over her and feeling her forehead she can see covered in beads of sweat, she is hot and clammy and looks pained.

"I'm fine Maur' really" Jane replies batting away her hand, "Just a...bad dream."

The look on Maura's face says she doesn't completely buy it.

Jane smiles shyly at her, and says gently "I am fine Maura, Thank you."

Hiding her pain Jane gets up and starts to get ready for the briefing in the conference room. She may not be needed again depending on how today goes.

Maura watches her suspiciously for a few moments, "I don't believe you Jane".

Jane looks up from finishing tying her boot laces, struts over to Maura and puts an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a hug.

"I got a few bruises and wot-not from the mission yesterday, can't believe the mission almost went sideways with an attempted mugging. But I'll be fine, I promise." she whispers in Maura's ear before kissing her temple and releasing her. "I gotta go, I'm gonna be late."

* * *

Jane tried to stand up straighter as they pointed over the blueprints of the building, trying to organize the teams with the plan they had decided on.

Both teams had to be in sync, but they wouldn't be able to communicate, complete radio silence as they had no idea what operations and equipment were behind closed doors.

She held her side slightly where the pain nagged her, she was having a hard time trying to ignore it.

"Team Two, You will need to split up right here..." Martinez points to a square on the bottom left on the blueprint, "

Her head starts to pound slightly and her vision blurs, she shakes her head frustrated at the interruption. He face pales considerably, luckily everyone is too busy staring at the pile of paper on the table to notice the change in her.

"Then you will need to clear the rooms along this corridor and meet team one at this location..." He points to the north side.

Her side hurts, burns almost, she pulls her hand away from the wound slowly and looking down see's blood seeping through her shirt, her hand is red.

_Shit_

She pushes her hand back onto the wound trying to slow the bleeding and ease the pain and...well...hide the blood from her comrades.

"Team Four, you will need to gain access through this door and clear this area..." he points to the East corridor, "...and head west along this corridor to..."

She squeezes her eyes shut, the pounding in her head is almost too much. She can't hear Martinez anymore. She takes a deep breath trying to focus, grasping the edge of the table till her knuckles turn white. She tries to steady herself.

"Are you ok?" whispers Korsak leaning in beside her, his brow creased.

"Yeah" she lies. She breathes out slowly, opening her eyes, her heart has started racing and it pounds in her ears, but she has to be strong, she has to be brave.

_I am ok, I am ok, take it slow and focus_

She opens her mouth to speak but suddenly everything goes dark and she reaches out to find something to grab, there is nothing within her reach. She plants her hands on the table, gasps, the pain shoots through her side like electric lightening, she slides slowly to the floor, her hand trailing a bloody streak across the blueprints.

Korsak sees the blood streak and sinks to her side, cradling her.

"Jane" he calls

She doesn't respond

"Get Maura!" Korsak commands and Martinez who has just been standing there in shock races off to find Maura.

Korsak slips his arm under Jane's legs and his other arm under her back, and with a mighty grunt lifts her into his arms and stands up slightly unsteadily. A cop steps forward to help.

"No" he grunts with a stern warning as he shifts Jane to balance better. He doesn't trust these guys with her. He might be getting older and is sure he just put his back out, but it doesn't matter. He walks to the table in the corner of the room and gently places her on it. Her face is white and her breathing is shallow, her eyelids flicker.

* * *

Maura bursts into the room, instantly spotting Korsak standing beside the table with Jane lying on it. She walks across the room assessing the situation. Before she even reaches Jane's side she has already determined the cause.

She knew Jane had been injured in the mission yesterday, She knew it was on her right side just above the hip, She knew Jane had tried to hide it from her, from everyone and had patched herself up, she was stubborn like that, and she knew the injury was externally bleeding based on the blood on the table in the centre of the room and from Korsaks shirt front as he faced Maura, his face etched in worry. What Maura couldn't know was how bad the injury was.

She crouches beside Jane and lifted her blood-soaked shirt.

A gauze bandage was wrapped around Jane's mid-section several times. Carefully unwrapping the bandage she found a 3 inch mostly superficial cut that had begun the healing process when the skin began to self- seal but had opened up in the middle where it was deepest and looked like it was becoming infected. It had possibly needed stitches and a proper sanitised dressing.

"Oh Jane!" Maura sighed her frustration, mostly to herself.

"I need hot water and clean towels" she demanded to anyone listening.

Opening her black doctors bag she prepared to patch up her best friend...again.

* * *

It was several hours later when Jane woke, a little dazed. The room was silent, the lighting dimmed to a comfortable level. She was in her own room again. She tried to sit up but the stabbing pain in her side caused her to moan and lie back down.

"You shouldn't try to move, you will stretch you stitches" came a familiar voice from the shadows.

Jane turned towards the voice, "What happened?'

"I could ask you the same thing." Maura sounded frustrated, angry almost.

"What did I do?" Jane queries trying to sound innocent, already knowing and already not liking the potential answers

Maura sighs, "You're impossible, Jane" She reaches over taking Jane's arm a little more forceful than usual, checking her pulse and making notes.

Maura hands her pills to take, which Jane does obediently while watching Maura carefully, her friend can be a little confusing sometimes, angry at her and yet still diligently looking after her.

"Don't I get any sympathies?" Jane pouts jokingly hoping to elicit a smile from her unhappy companion.

"Yes Jane, yes you do," Maura begins her tone completely serious and angry "I sympathise with your family and friends that you cause to worry unnecessarily, I sympathise with your body that hates being punished by you, and I sympathise with your team that you don't confide in."

Jane's mouth drops in shock. Maura is more pissed than she was showing on the outside.

How could she have explained herself to Maura that she didn't want to worry anyone so she doesn't tell them she was hurt, yet again. She didn't know her body was not as tough as her mind and needed better treatment. She _was_ trying not to worry and scare and use Maura and was frustrated in herself that she always needed her friend so much. And her team, well they might just turn on her like a pack of dogs if they suspected she was weak, she wasn't meant to be there in the first place and it could mess up her job in the future.

"Agh crap" Jane groans realising everyone now knows. Maura would have patched her up and no-one would have even known. Jane literally facepalms herself leaving her hand resting on her face for a few moments.

There was too much to convey and Maura's harsh tone touched a button she didn't know existed. Her eyes started to burn as overwhelming emotion and exhaustion and frustration, escaped her body in the form of tears burning to be released from her eyes...she fought with all her might to stop them escaping...and she succeeded...mostly. Her eyes looked glazed and she swallowed loudly.

Maura watched her as the wave of emotions battled across her features for victory with none victorious. Jane was too stubborn to let any feeling dominate her and they were all felt and then pushed away, temporarily discarded somewhere deep inside.

An awkward silence rested between them, Jane had not answered Maura and Maura knew not to expect an apology.

"Are you in pain?" Maura asked gentler than before

Jane wanted to scream 'of course i'm in pain' but she knew Maura meant physically. She forced herself onto her side so her back was to Maura mumbling "I'm fine" and closing her eyes.

It was a stab in Maura's heart, she knew Jane dealt with feelings in Jane's way but it didn't stop the rejection she felt in that moment. Childhood memories attacked her sub-conscious, of family turning their back on her emotionally and physically, of friends finding better friends to play with than her. Her loneliness leaving a lump in her throat.

Maura stood up and walked silently out of the room.

Jane kicked herself on the inside for not opening up to Maura, but she wanted to stay tough, be tough, she couldn't pretend to be tough just sometimes, ever.

Three times she had been stupid. She was caught off guard, she didn't tell Maura and get help and collapsed in front of everyone, and now she had just hurt the person that cared about her as much as her own family.

She drifted off into a restless sleep wondering if Maura could ever forgive her...

 

...to be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written characters are fictitious,   
> locations are real but written events did not happen at these locations   
> quotes are genuine and unaltered  
> Some persons referenced within the story are real people  
> Event's referenced in the story are likely real events  
> The plot is fictitious  
> the concepts are not...it's up to you to determine it's validity.


	6. Mending

Chapter 6 - mending

* * *

Hours pass and Jane has been left alone, she is too grumpy for company, Maura has checked on her twice, once but she was asleep, the second time they didn't speak. When Maura finally does return Jane decides she has to put her stubborn-ness aside and try to fix it.

"I'm sorry Maura, I'm sorry I'm so stubborn."

Maura glances at her surprised and smiles gently, "I know Jane."

Jane looks shocked, she expected Maura to have it out with her again, take her head off.

Maura sits down and rolls Jane's top up to clean the wound, her hands are steady and gentle, Jane's skin tingles at the contact.

"I know I don't need to tell you how I feel Jane, you already know. I can't help but worry when you put yourself in danger. But it hurts me when you don't tell me you're hurt."

Jane looks remorseful, "It was stupid Maur', I was stupid. He shouldn't have got the drop on me. Dunno' why I didn't see it. But that kid cut me with a puny little knife, I dunno, it was a scratch that bled a bit. I didn't want it to be a big deal." She looks sullen brow creased.

"It wouldn't have been a big deal if you had come to me Jane," Maura begins looking pained, "I know things are strained between us at times but we all have to communicate, we are a team, you and I. I do have your rear, Jane"

"Back. I have your ' _back_ ' Maura" Jane says laughing

Maura smiles gently back not offended at being laughed at, "That too"

Jane watches Maura finish cleaning the wound and patching it up.

"Jane, I would have kept this a secret if you had asked me."

"I know." Jane sighs, feeling like an idiot all over again

Maura checks Jane's pulse, it is slightly faster than normal still she puts her hand on Jane's forehead, she is hot and clammy, her fever hasn't quite broken yet. Jane closes her eyes, being taken care of is kinda nice, specially when her whole body aches.

She grimaces as the thoughts she had been trying to ignore finally infuse her mind, the real reason she has been so irritable.

"I'm so sorry Maura. I just wish we weren't here. It's all my fault, this whole thing is all my fault." She bites her lip trying to control the feelings. She doesn't feel any better saying it out loud as she had hoped she would, and no-one can help remove the guilt from her.

"Yes Jane, it is..."

"Way to make me feel better Maur" Jane chokes back a sob

"Yes it is because of you we are here, but we all chose to be here and you had no choice yourself. You did what you always do...you selflessly did what you had to do to help solve the case, crazy as it might have been." She uses a damp cloth and wipes the damp sweat off Jane's forehead, face and neck. "What you did is a good thing, it will stop young adults getting easy access to drugs that will destroy their lives."

Maura strokes Jane's forehead the lets her hand slide casually down the side of Jane's face to her collarbone the tips of her fingers caressing gently Jane's flushed skin. She checks Jane's carotid artery pulse, but really it is just an excuse to stay connected to her for a moment longer.

"It's all going to be ok, Jane" she whispers gently

"You don't know that," is the soft gravely reply laced with a hint of fear

Maura tucks her hand behind Jane's neck stroking the skin between the neck and shoulder with the pad of her thumb and watches Jane's face intently, Jane doesn't resist the touch and her breathing has evened out and her face softened

"Don't stop." Jane whispers when Maura's thumb stops moving. Her body is more relieved that Maura isn't mad at her than anything, her mind at peace. She gently succumbs to sleep. Maura rests her head on Jane's shoulder and waits by her side, afraid to move.

An hour later Jane's fever breaks and Maura leaves her alone to quietly rest.

Her mouth feels like cotton when she wakes again, she licks her lips, squints as she gathers her bearings, she is in her room, her side hurts a little still but not like it did. Things are a little blurry. After several moments, the door opens and Maura walks in, seeing Jane is conscious she grins widely.

"What are you so happy about?" Jane queries dryly, Maura passes her a glass of water and sits down on the edge of the bed.

"Your fever broke", a simple answer, mysteriously simple "we should get you cleaned up and fed."

Jane sits up and allows Maura to strip off her top and with a damp cloth gently wiping her exposed skin. She won't be able to shower for a few days anyway and the fever made her damp and sticky. As innocent as the process is and as professional as Maura remains it feels very intimate and vulnerable. Jane's eyes watching Maura's every move, she isn't even sure it affects Maura as it does her. It isn't something they ever discussed, they are friends - except when trying to get rid of stalker men, then and only then are they more, and it is only a facade.

But for Jane its a test of her will, she has never outwardly shown how much she enjoyed the little game messing with Giovanni, or at the Lesbian bar undercover having a moment or two of unrestrained permission to stare at Maura without it being uncomfortable -

"Pant's next", Maura prompts.

Jane slides on a clean dry top lifting her arm carefully to avoid the pain, before standing up leaning against Maura to steady herself.

She starts to slide her yoga pants down but the pain in her side is annoying, "I can't bend over", she moans pitifully, exaggerating slightly. It is very likely she could manage if she really wanted too.

"It's ok" Maura says and bends to pull Jane's pants down to her ankles and Jane lifts her feet one at a time to remove the garment, her hands on Maura's shoulders. Maura washes her legs gently showing no sign of interest, completely professional and then helps her into clean dry pants. Jane sits back down with Maura's help, she is exhausted, and a little saddened with the realisation that the interest is one sided. She is still grateful for a selfless caring, best friend and doctor.

"Sit" she commands Maura, Maura tilts her head and raises an eyebrow, refusing to budge

"...Please"

Maura sits beside Jane and puts an arm around her shoulders Jane rests her head on her shoulder.

"I am sorry, Maur, Thank you for taking care of me." Maura turns to kiss Jane's temple in acknowledgement and rubs her back in smooth circles.

Maura smiles to herself, a lot has changed over the years, once upon a time Jane would never have apologized to her, would never have trusted her so much. Even with all the stress in their lives they still grew closer. It's different now. They aren't just colleagues and best friends anymore...they are something more...something there is maybe no word for, something Maura would one day love to test.

Jane sighs beside her, content with the silence between them, grateful for the caring warm body comforting her, she could almost sleep again but her tummy has other ideas. Maura hears the growling and giggles, "Lets eat."

Maura helps Jane up and out into the corridor, the place is un-usually quiet as Jane hobbles to the mess hall.

"Where is everyone?"

"Nutrition first Jane."

Jane bites her lip, It's not like Maura to avoid a question like that, she feels a brick of anxiety start to form in the pit of her stomach, eating away at her appetite.

"Maur?" she tries again. Maura sighs, nothing is ever easy with Jane.

Maura helps Jane sit and brings out some food for them both and sits opposite her.

"If no-one is here I could have eaten in my room," she groans

"Exercise is vital to recovery Jane," Maura starts, about to launch into an explanation of studies done recently, but stops when she notices Jane's worried expression.

"Everyone is fine Jane, they completed the mission and took down two Boston drug dealers. And after being interrogated they gave up some names to reduce their own sentence. We can leave anytime now."

"I MISSED IT?" Jane blurts out obviously frustrated with herself. "No fair!" She almost looks close to tears as she rubs her face with one hand while swirling her fork in the pasta with the other.

"You did an exceptional job, Jane, you found and infiltrated a drug dealer, because of you the unit took down a branch of their division and exposed several others." Maura tries giving Jane a half smile.

"I lay in bed cause I was an idiot, and missed all the fun." Jane counters sullenly.

Maura reaches across the table and places her hand on Jane's, "It's not over yet, Martinez arrested Blade aka Pete Strowan and his accomplice, John Howell, and they are sitting uncomfortably in a cell awaiting your amazing interrogation skills to link them to the victim. What is interesting is school records show the three of them belonged to the same alumni at the University."

A sly smile crosses Jane's face and her eyes twinkle, "YES! All right", an air fist pump and she plows into her food hungrily.

* * *

Cavanagh welcomes Jane back with a hug, she is still sore and holds her side.

"Welcome back Jane. So..You haven't actually missed much, it's only just starting to get good now." Jane's face lights up, she takes a seat in the most comfortable chair in the room running her hand through her hair. She's hoping she didn't come back too soon but if she left it any longer then she wouldn't get to carry on with the case.

He continues "Maura found that the blood in the victims stomach was goats blood" Jane screws her face up "Yuk"

"Not entirely sure how that fits yet. However, the cocaine you got came back a match to the victim, so we have a warrant to talk to the students and search lockers which is currently underway with sniffer dogs and officers. They are looking for drugs and question students as we speak, it is a large school so will take time."

"So far the questioning of students hasn't revealed much of significance, but then we aren't 100% sure what to ask yet. But Holiday found redacted school records showing several parents complained in the last 2 years about some of the initiation tactics their boys went through in one of the schools fraternity groups. The parents all later dropped the complaints and the school won't discuss it with us. The headmaster won't even tell us the fraternity name. It maybe nothing, but being rich upper-class folks with their own lawyers, we can't talk to any families or kids without a good reason, unless we want all kinds of trouble and a truck-load of paperwork to fill in. Even the school has legal support." He pauses to catch his breath while Jane scowls at the idea of paperwork.

"Not sure if this is all related but hopefully we will find out soon. Thats where we are at so far, Pete and John are our only links so far between the drugs and the victim and the school as they both once attended. _The only link_...So don't blow it, ok?" He smiles gently at her.

"O-kay." she responds not as confidentially as she would like and heads towards the interrogation room...

* * *

....to be continued...


	7. The Interrogation

Chapter 7 - The interrogation

* * *

John is being led into the room first, he is cuffed and looks angry, he gives Jane a bitter stare as he passes her in the hall. She follows them in deciding not to let him sit for long as his anger will just deepen.

"Hi Mr. Howell, I am detective Jane Rizzoli, BPD." She gives him a good once over, he doesn't look surprised at all, just peeved.

Jane leans in closer to him and stares him right in the eyes, speaking low, just above a whisper, "Are they treating you ok in there?"

John's face softens instantly, and suddenly he looks like the 17 year old he is. "I'm fine" he whispers back, "Thanks".

Jane sits down beside him instead of facing him, he will be a lot more compliant if she isn't his enemy. "This is pretty serious huh." she begins, its a statement not a question. He nods glumly.

"What I want to know is what you know about Hamish Jones." He looks up confused, "Who?".

Jane takes a photo of the victim out of the file, pointing to it, "This guy."

John looks at the picture carefully then at Jane then back to the picture, he knows something but he isn't gong to spill the beans till he knows what she wants to know.

"I want to know how you knew him, when you met him, what you sold him, how much, and if you know what happened to him the night he died."

Maura frowns from behind the two-way mirror, she has never seen Jane question a suspect like this before. She knows Jane has superb detecting skills but this is just bizarre. It's like she is giving him the path to take in answers without him having to confess anything. John watches his own hands as he fiddles with the cuffs on his lap.

"I will protect you" Jane affirms.

Maura stands up and walks to the adjoining door, knocking, interrupting the process. "Yeah? What is it." Jane calls through the door, Maura opens it partially, "Can I speak to you outside a moment please." It's not a question. John looks at Maura slight recognition in his eyes then looks down again.

Jane gets up, "I'll be right back", she says placing a hand on John's shoulder before leaving.

"What on earth are you doing?" Maura yells in a semi-hushed tone the moment the door clicks shut.

"My job" Jane replys on the same verbal level.

"No you aren't, you can't ask loaded questions and you can't make promises with perpetrators. This isn't like you Jane."

Jane looks relaxed, calm "Maura, I know what I'm doing."

"Do you? Do you Jane?" She sounds angry, confused, annoyed. "That boy Hamish was drugged by someone, Jane. And then ended up falling from quite a height. There is something going on inside the school. You don't even know how this boy is involved. He could be dangerous, involved, or playing you."

"Maur' are you worried about me?" Jane laughs

"You're leading him Jane those are loaded questions. You're directing his answers making it very hard for a D.A. to use anything said in there. You know this." Maura is flustered and breathing heavy, her eyes glimmer with subtle anger.

"He isn't gonna tell me anything if I don't ask. My job is to find the answers, your job is to find the evidence, his job is tell tell me what I wanna know"

"You can't care for him Jane" Maura went to reach out to Jane but changed her mind.

"Are you ok Maura?" Jane looks worried, it's not like Maura to behave like this.

Maura looks back at her studying her, "Yes Jane." then turns and walks away.

Jane blinks a few times at her departing form, "Ok, good talk Maur." She turns and walks back in, a touch confused.

"Right John, Talk to me."

John looks up, "I don't know what happened to him alright. But he was at our place, with some other dude bout his age. That guy just stood there, it was the other guy did the deal."

"When?"

John tries to think back, "Dunno, two, three days before you showed up." He shrugs.

"What did his friend buy?" Jane sits down and starts taking notes.

"Um...I don't wanna say."

Jane glares at him

"Fine", John growls, "Coke. But I never said the dude he came with was his friend."

"What makes you think he wasn't?" Jane enquires gently.

John swallows rubbing his hands together nervously, "Well that dude...Hamish...he didn't seem like he wanted ta be there...he was scared I think. He just stood in the corner and said nothin' ta no-one. Never seen him before that but the dude that did the buyin...He used to come round all the time till that day then not seen him since."

"Name?"

"Dunno, Jay or somthin."

There is a pause

"Would you recognise him if you saw him again?"

"Yeah, sure. Ya know I was only involved cause my ma's gonna loose my sister to the state if we can't pay the rent. System will screw her up, she's only six. Will break my ma's heart. Blade told me it was gonna be easy money and no danger, all I has to do was act tough an watch his back." He swallows hard, his eyes glistening slightly. "Please don't tell my ma I let her down." John puts his head in his hands on the table.

Her heart breaks just a little, she knows the responsibility of family and feels bad for this kid. She has no idea what to say, she can't promise it'll be ok or that everything will work out. It's not in her hands. So she says the only thing she can

"I will talk to the D.A. ok?. I will do my best to help your sister." He looks up into her eyes and a faint smile appears on his face.

"What happened at the university?" Jane asked changing the topic. John doesn't respond. "It would really help me, John." She said tenderly not breaking eye contact.

John looked down "I ain't supposed to talk about it. I had a friend who had weird stuff happen to him. He didn't wanna talk bout it. His parents were upset tho. Then everyone stopped talking about it. I think...well I heard...that the guys in the Phi Kappa Beta house went too far with the initiate rites. They got told off and shut down. But my friend was weird after that. He quit school an' his family moved away. Neva heard from him again."

"Did anything happen to you there?"

"Nuh, I ain't up to being in those rich frat groups. I couldn't afford to even be at the school really, was just tryin' ta get ahead in life till cash got too tight. I had to drop out."

"How many kids from your school were buying drugs"

John's face turns to fear, "I can't say, I can't be a rat."

Jane understands and nods

"I never knew Hamish but some other kids were regulars, and most of em' belonged to Phi Kappa Beta. I know cause my friend that left went there."

"If I showed you pictures of classmates would you try to point out who Hamish was with?"

John nods "Sure".

"Thanks", Jane says waving in an officer who had photos of almost every kid in the school.

"That's him" John finally pointed to one, his face hopeful, hopeful his co-operation would keep him out of jail or reduce his sentence, maybe community service.

The picture John Howell pointed too was Jared Stevens. His body language to a few other students pictures had Jane quietly mark them down to keep an eye on also. It was more helpful than she expected.

She felt the sick feeling in her stomach when John was lead away still in cuffs, his future was uncertain, because he was behind bars his families' future was uncertain also. She wanted to save him, she wanted to protect him. The best she could do was keep any jerks away from him while he was locked up. This was her fault, she had got him caught. She clenched her fist trying to direct the frustration and pain away from her heart to her palms.

Maura was right, she shouldn't have cared for him, she was sure she had from the moment she met him, now she knew his life, why he had done what he did, the connection was there, forever. Her heart had another stake in it that she would have to carry around with the others. Now 'shouldn't care for him' was too late. Now she was close to wild with anger and guilt and she didn't know who to take it out on...

* * *

"Who is he?" Jane asks aggressively sternly staring into the stubborn eyes of young Pete. A picture of Jared on the table.

He laughs evilly, "You lied to me. You think I'm ever gonna help you?" he scoffs.

"I never lied," responds Jane holding her anger in as much as possible, "But I'm not going to be able to help you if you don't help me. You are in serious trouble and I am gonna make it extra hard for you if you don't tell me what I wanna know."

Pete was upset finding out Jane was a detective, probably a lot of hurt pride that he had mistakenly trusted her.

All she had from him so far was that he dropped out of school and wasn't going back. He claimed that his 'business' was legal and she couldn't charge him on anything because she had no proof, it was ridiculous yes, but unhelpful. He claimed he didn't know Jared or Hamish and he had never dealt or touched drugs in his life. And this interview was going nowhere fast.

"I ain't telling you nuthin" he finally screams at her, his cuffs connected to the table stopping him from moving to far towards her

Luckily Korsak had just walked in because she was seconds away from making sure he never could say another word.

He walked over to her and whispered in her ear that they had just discovered where Hamish had met his untimely demise.

"You can't hold me, I ain't done nothing" Pete hollered as they walked out the door.

Jane turned around and pointed her long finger at him, "You are under arrest, for pissin' me off. Twice." And turned to leave slamming the door after her.

* * *

"He fell here." Maura looks down between her feet at the stony ground with trace amounts of blood, "From up there" She looks up at the building a meter in front. It is 5 stories high. One of the campus dormitories. Jane and Korsak follow her gaze. "Thank you for that, Captain obvious." Jane smirks causing Korsak to chuckle. Maura looks unamused.

"This distance from the wall does not indicates he was pushed but it would also depend on several factors," Maura looks around the quiet campus taking in the layout.

"Was he alone?" Jane asks enjoying how close Maura is to guessing.

Maura looks around for a clue, an answer, "I am not sure"

"Well, he didn't exactly _drag_ himself from here to over there Maur." Jane looks at her incrediously

Maura lips curl into a confident knowing smile, "He _was_ moved by someone, Jane, That doesn't mean they were here when he hit the pavement or were responsible for his death."

Jane stares at Maura who stares back, she may have won this round but Jane will keep fighting.

Korsak looks between them, both their faces comically stubborn, "I'm um...going to check out the roof. Bye."

* * *

From the top of the building is a rather fantastic view across to the city, the edge of the building is a foot high stone wall with no rail. The school advised that roof access was not permitted to students and was locked with the grounds-keeper and the principal having the only keys. The door was not locked when Korsak had made his way up.

Korsak and Jane, leaning over the edge looking at the ground below. Maura is 6 stories below them examining the ground for evidence. She is small from up this high but easy to pick out with her loose honey blonde hair, and the way she moves methodically and delicately, everyone else is in blue and flustering around like ants. Jane watches her for a moment but pulls back the moment vertigo tries to kick in. She is as keen on heights as she is in falling. Korsak continues to stare over the side, "Quite a view from up here." Jane lightly punches him in the arm, "Not funny, so what happened? He fell, He was pushed, He tried to fly like a vampire bat?"

Korsak strokes his stubble pretending that might be a possibility. "Well there were no defensive wounds so he didn't put up a fight, the edge has no rails so even wandering in the dark could be fatal, and the moss layer up here is slippery too. It's impossible to know"

Jane looks around, "Looks like there might have been a scuffle here, the moss is damaged. Oh and bingo..." She exclaims picks up a hypodermic needle lying behind a roof vent and pops it in a bag "...this could be where the vic' was drugged. Could have wandered straight over the edge if he was alone. Disorientated."

"Maura doesn't like guessing" Korsak laughs

"Maura's not here." Jane pokes out her tongue

"Maura can hear you", Maura's voice comes from behind them as she walks towards Jane, "This is definitely the location of his homicide. Have you determined if he was pushed or fell yet?"

"Not yet, but Jane found a hypodermic needle and some scuffles over here." Korsak responds, "Ill get CSU up here to photograph it."

"There are no marks on the ledge" Maura observes leaning over the edge looking straight down at the crime techs below them.

"What we need is a witness." Jane groans "Ok lets get this back to the lab, test for DNA. I want another go at Pete." Jane growls handing Maura the evidence bag and stalks towards the exit...

* * *

...to be continued...


	8. The break

Chapter 8 - The break

* * *

The DNA on the needle belonged to Hamish, there were traces of blood and cocaine.

Unfortunately Pete lawyered up and Jane had to back off, for now, until she has more of something - anything. He is being held on possession, intent to sell, and dealing, for now. Maybe she was too hard on him. Maybe he would have said more if she hadn't been so angry.

The case is looking pretty bleak.

The students at the school either know nothing or are being evasive or both. Jared hasn't been seen at school since the night Hamish was found and he is not at his home either. There is an APB out for him and his car as well as an officer watching his house. And the fraternity, it is like digging in sand, every scoop down instantly fills back up. Or for Jane it feels like quicksand...every time she moves she sinks further into the unknown. The school eventually admitted to forcing a fraternity to shut down but refused to say who or why and refused to give out the families names on the redacted document. Even the threat of arrests for obstruction was met by the schools lawyers threat of harassment.

They needed a direct link between Hamish's death and the school before they could force those records to be released.

For now there was nothing Jane or Maura could do. For now they both had to deal with the feelings somehow. Jane, tired and frustrated from the lack of progress, went for a run but it didn't help with getting rid of the anger and frustration that had been slowly building since the start of this case. She needed a release of some sort. Maura frustrated the clues didn't fit and upset for Jane. They hoped relaxing would help.

Jane slouched on Maura's couch her bare feet crossed resting on the coffee table, eyes closed, beer only half drunk.

Maura sits next to Jane, her legs under her, facing her friend, wine in hand.

Neither is sure how long they have just been sitting, pondering.

Maura places her almost empty glass on the table by Jane's beer. She reaches over and strokes Jane's arm to get her attention.

"Yeah" Jane responds turning towards her friend.

"I am sorry about today, Jane, I shouldn't have interfered." Jane smiles gently letting Maura know with her eyes she is forgiven.

Maura reaches over and lifts the edge of Jane's top up

"What? No!" Jane instantly protests pushing Maura away with her elbow.

Maura looks at Jane with her head tilted "I need to see"

"Fine." Jane gives in without a fight. She knows it's either the easy way or the hard way, and the easy way is certainly easier, although not as fun, but she is too tired to fight.

Maura checks the wound, it's healing nicely, no signs of infection.

She focuses on the cut, her fingers trailing a few inches from the edge, this wound signified a lot to her, that Jane hadn't trusted her like she trusts Jane. Had she not earned it yet? Did her always having to follow guidelines and procedures mean she wasn't safe for Jane? They had fought about this before a long time ago. She desperately wanted to be the person Jane went to for anything, advice, concerns, everything and nothing. And although Jane was often closed off emotionally and dealt with things in her own way, Maura still wanted to be safe for Jane.

Jane had stopped breathing normally as Maura absentmindedly stroked her side in long strokes, sometimes Maura's actions skipped over the fragile borders that defined their friendship. Mostly Jane put it down to Maura's lack of social skills. She didn't mind or put the boundaries in place when crossed, it felt comfortable and not as awkward as it probably should have been.

"Maur' are you ok?"

Maura looked up, her expression unreadable, "Yes Jane, I was just thinking..."

Jane doesn't take her eyes off Maura

"Jane, Do you trust me?"

Jane sat up straighter "Of course I do. Why?"

Maura started playing with her own hair, twirling it in her fingers, it one of Maura's few tells that she was nervous.

"You..." she tries, her eyes getting wet. Jane looks at her eyes full of concern, "You didn't tell me you were hurt." Jane's face relaxes in relief, she wasn't sure what she expected but based on Maura's tears now and her outburst earlier she didn't expect something so simple, that didn't downgrade Maura's feelings by any means and the importance to her - but for Jane that was not a big deal and had nothing to do with trust.

Jane's eyes soften and sparkle, a hint of a smile and a huge dimple, "Maur" she whispers reaching out to wipe the tears from Maura's cheeks, "I'm an idiot, that doesn't mean I don't trust you. Thought you'd know I do stupid illogical stuff by now." Maura lets out a half sob mixed with a hiccup then a chuckle.

"Well I had forgotten that." She confesses semi-jokingly

Jane pulls her into a hug and they both relax enjoying the comfort.

"I trust you Maur, I just - sometimes I - I stupidly think I can handle everything on my own."

Maura stokes Jane's back reassuringly, lovingly and Jane soothes Maura's hair in soft strokes. They both breath out contentedly, both their stresses melt into oblivion, and all thats left is peace and warmth. Jane's hands slide comfortably lower and she hugs Maura tighter resting her chin on Maura's clavicle, her lips grazing bare skin. Maura slides her hand up to Jane's neck and softly rubs small tingling circles on her nape, she rests her chin on Jane's shoulder her breath tickling Jane's ear. They stay like this for a lot longer than what would be acceptable.

Jane gently kisses the soft flesh on Maura's collarbone. Maura turns to place a wet lingering kiss on Jane's neck. Their hot breaths on each others skin burning. Jane's heart skips a beat, her brain trying to determine if Maura feels something more than friendship for her or not, too scared to pull back and see Maura's face in case it shows nothing beyond friendship. Jane's hands slide lower in smooth circles to Maura's lower back, Maura's breath hitches when Jane's fingers gently caress her upper buttocks every so often. She rewards Jane by kissing her earlobe softly while breathing heavily onto her skin tickling her. Jane's breathing becomes faster as she gently nibbles Maura's shoulder. Jane is feeling confident they both feel the same, she hope's they aren't being foolish. Her brain is trying to shut off and just let the sensations take over, she want's to let it but can't quite yet. Maura kisses Jane's earlobe and whispers in her ear "Oh, this is so..." she can't finish, hot, nice, dangerous, amazing...

Jane shivers and groans at the sensation, kissing Maura's shoulder lips move their way to her neck, she continues to slide her hands lower, not really thinking anymore, she feels so good, she wants more. She didn't care they were past the point of stopping - of pretending it was all an accident.

She runs tip of her tongue up Maura's neck to her ear and kisses her earlobe. Maura moans pressing herself closer to Jane, her hand tightens on Jane's nape and her other hand is in Jane's hair massaging her scalp as she kisses Jane's neck up and down gently biting every so often, she can't stop, Jane smells amazing, tastes amazing. Jane sighs and shifts herself forward, forcing Maura to lay on her back but not breaking the contact, her thigh accidentally presses between Maura's legs causing a gasp, Jane places a hand on either side of her body hovering over Maura sloppily kissing her neck, completely intoxicated.

"Jane" Maura breaths wrapping her legs around Jane, then kisses her jaw. Jane leans back to look in her friends eyes, they are dilated much like her own, her chest heaving, they look hungrily at each other, panting. Jane shifts her eye-line to Maura's mouth, she licks her lips in anticipation, then looks back to Maura's eyes asking permission, permission to go further, or to stop. Maura's eyes are longing "Please" she whispers, "Don't stop" she begs. Jane runs her thumb over Maura's lips, Maura's eyes flutter closed, she is panting, waiting, anticipating. Jane leans down to take Maura's lower lip between her own~

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Shit..." breathes Jane as both girls look towards the door, panting.

"Hey Maura, I've brought you some Ravioli and Caponata to eat." Angela's voice breaks the silence

They quickly disentangle as they hear Angela's keys jangling in the lock "I'm so sorry I'm late. You must be starved. I bumped into Rosa at the store, she had a baby last month..."

"We planned on dinner." Maura squeaks apologetically, composing herself quickly and running her hands down her clothes trying to straighten herself, then she sits down on the couch grabbing a cushion to hug in front of her, rocking slowly.

Jane just stays standing next to the couch where her feet landed as she jumped up and stares at Maura her mouth half open, she can't move

"...They are having a christening next week and I have been invited. Oh! hi Janie, how was your day? how is your injury healing?" Angela asks as she starts unpacking the tupperware containers of food and getting utensils out.

Jane turns slowly to her Ma, her mouth dry, she blinks, trying to process the words, "Ma?" Angela looks up briefly confused "You look flushed Janie, are you ok? Do you have a fever?"

Jane tries to get her brain to kick in, "Um...uh...yeah...no...I'm fine" she manages, she looks back at Maura who has a mischievous twinkle in her eye, and Jane can tell she is grinning behind the cushion, her bright sparkling still slightly dilated eyes turned up at the edges.

"Are you hungry Janie?" Angela is already dishing up onto three plates.

Maura finally stands up placing her hand on Jane's back gently pushing her towards the kitchen and following her.

"We are famished, Thank you Angela. Jane is recovering really really well..." She looks at Jane and winks, "We were just about to consider having desert before dinner but this looks and smells amazing." Maura slides her hand down to Jane's butt cheek giving it a squeeze before stepping away. Angela turns to Maura beaming at the compliment. Jane gulps and sits down, still finding words hard to form as a plate of food is put in front of her. She looks up at Angela forceing a smile, "T-thanks Ma."

Maura smiles warmly at Jane sitting down to her own plate.

Angela turns away to dish up the last plate and Maura reaches over to tuck a wild curl behind Jane's ear, then tenderly lets her fingertips slide along Jane's jaw to her chin, smiling seductively, her hand dropping to her lap just as Angela turns back around "Did, you girls have a fun today?"

* * *

...to be continued...


	9. First Kiss

**Chapter 9 - First kiss**

* * *

Dinner was delicious. Angela wanted to hear all about the case and for Jane it's a great distraction from Maura who occasionally runs her stocking foot up the back of Jane's calf. The stern looks from Jane and the occasional "unfair" whispers do nothing to deter Maura and possibly only make her worse. She was enjoying Jane's discomfort. Dinner is filled with half smiles and sideways glances between them, the usual touches lingering longer than usual. Fortunately Angela doesn't seem to notice.

Angela eventually leaves and heads to the guest house, Maura locks her back door and sits down beside Jane

"How did you recover so fast? I thought I was gonna pass out, but you - you.." Jane points at Maura accusingly, "You were as cool a cucumber...and teasing the heck out of me all night."

Maura laughs, "You were wonderful Jane, just completely flabbergasted. I did however think I would have an upper airway obstruction when Angela suggested we would enjoy the movie 'Imagine you and me.'"

They both laugh heartily, then relax staring at each other, softly studying the others features and expressions.

Jane finally speaks after sitting in silence a few moments, "I am no closer to solving this case, it's so frustrating." she sighs

Maura laughs softly, "Thats what you're thinking about?"

Jane turns to Maura placing a hand on each shoulder and gently pulls her closer, so close their lips are almost touching but not quite, "No, Maura" Jane breathes slowly, "that's not all I'm thinking about," Maura holds her breath her heart already pounding in her ears, "I'm also thinking about how I can pay you back for that little game over dinner." Jane smirks.

Maura smiles trying to lean in for a kiss, "Baby, I can't wait, do you want cash or credit?", she whispers already feeling the tingling desire in her body.

Jane holds her in place, keeping the forced distance, "Money is the root of evil, Maura"

Maura blinks, and then smiles gently, "Actually Jane, the passage is 'For the love of money is the root of all evil.'"

Jane stares blankly at Maura who is still trying to wiggle close enough for their lips to touch, the cogs of Jane's brain turning,

"The love of - money." She says out loud to herself.

Maura groans, irritated at being unable to reach Jane's lips "Yes, Jane. It's greed. Greed is the root of all evil"

Giving up on a kiss, Maura runs her fingers slowly across Jane's thigh trying to get her attention.

Jane looks at Maura, smiling, not seductively, not warmly, Maura can't place it.

"You're a genius Maur'." She leans into Maura and places a chaste soft kiss on her lips, Maura moans, then Jane pulls back slowly.

Maura groans disappointed, "That's a terrible terrible first kiss Jane."

Jane looks lovingly at Maura a smile on her lips, twinkle in her eyes, searching her face, dimples showing, her eyes focus on Maura's lips as she leans in slowly opening her mouth slightly, finally taking Maura's lips in hers.

It's sloppy, gentle, sweet, the sensation is amazing, both of them lost in the moment. Teeth graze lips as Jane starts to pull back breaking the connection, pulling Maura's bottom lip gently as she does. Maura whines, leaning forward still trying to keep the contact. When Jane opens her eyes. Maura isn't moving, her eyes are still closed, soft wet lips pouting.

"Wow" Maura breathes finally opening her eyes. Jane's grin takes over her whole face. She cups Maura's cheeks in her hands, "You are beautiful Maur'. I'll be back later." And gets up to leave.

"What?" Maura swallows trying to catchup with the unexpected situation change, "Where are you going? It's nine o'clock at night?"

Jane looks back at her from the front door, "I've got a case to solve." Winks and closes the door behind her.

"What?" Maura calls after her but she is gone. "You are beautiful too, Jane" She whispers to the closed door.

* * *

Jane is surrounded by a stack of papers, rubbing her forehead, when Korsak arrives.

"It is 11pm, this better be good Jane" He grumbles as he sits in his chair.

"It's all about greed" Jane responds looking up. "It's why the clues didn't fit, It's why nothing fit." She stands up and starts pacing, "The school covered everything up because bad press would affect their income and donations from parents."

Korsak walks over to Jane's desk staring at the piles surrounding her. Articles about 'accidents' in schools all over the world, Outraged parents pulling their children from universities, scandals, injury, hazings, hospitalised teenagers, threats of exposure, fraternities and sororities shut down, police investigations, and cases of satanic ritual abuse.

"There have been almost no arrests from almost any of these events." Jane finally speaks, it has been bothering her for the last hour, "At one stage one of the Judges was even under investigation because he allowed some kids that confessed to crimes to walk free and then it was found out he had attended _that_ same school. It was in the papers for one day and then nothing. I looked into it and the judge was privately found to 'not be bias' half way through the investigation. _Half way through_." Jane throws her arms up in the air demonstrating the absurdity, "The investigation was just shut down...no questions."

She pauses to catch her breath, anger behind her eyes, she hated injustice and these cases were rife with injustice.

"At Boston College, I think the parents that complained got paid to keep quiet", she continues her fists clenched, "the kids, like John's friend, won't or can't talk about it. I've checked financial records on public record of some the the parents charities and some of them had unaccounted 'charity' payments of equal amounts, maybe it's nothing, but I can't dig without a warrant and no judge will give me that, I don't even have names" She rubs the back of her neck.

Korsak nodded, he was trying to think of a response but all that came out was a strangled 'hmm'. He was no stranger to corruption, police corruption, legal corruption, internal corruption, and more. He places a comforting hand on Jane's shoulder.

Jane continues after a pause, "I've looked into that strange ring Hamish was wearing, The G with the math symbols, the closest I can find is the freemasonic symbol which is some secret powerful gentleman's club. If you're in this club it appears you will get better positions in jobs, better recommendations, promoted before others, if two people equally qualified go after the same job...the freemason will get it if the boss or company is a masonic one. People get reduced crimes if the judge is in the same club, it is like a huge brotherhood. These colleges seem to have a similar thing that, Kids that are in certain fraternities get special...preferences" She goes back to her seat.

Korsak rubs his chin slowly "Boston college is a Jesuit college, Jane, I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier."

"Jesuits? Like a Jesus thing?"

"Actually it's like a catholic thing. The Society of Jesuits are the armed militia of the Roman Catholic Church. They were sanctioned in 1540 to defeat Protestantism and regain worldwide Papal rule. But they did some things that were not popular and got expelled from at least 83 countries."

"Never heard of them Korsak" She frowns at him wondering if he is teasing her.

"It's a rather long history lesson but over the last 400 years the Jesuits have succeeded in establishing the largest worldwide network of schools and universities. These prominent schools and universities, have produced many well known alumni. Therefore have been able to shape and mould the thinking of many famous world leaders, and produce generations of political and religious leaders who were favorable to the Roman Catholic Church, and her doctrinal agenda.

Jane scratches her head, this is a lot to take in and she doesn't recall hearing anything like this at her catholic school or in history classes, not that she paid it much attention.

"The secret societies being controlled by the Jesuits today include Freemasonry, the Knights of Malta, the Bilderberg group, and more, and all the subgroups.

Jane rubs the scars on the back of her hands pressing hard, they are itchy, probably the stress. "How do you know all this?"

Korsak doesn't answer straight-away, "Bonesman" he finally answers though mostly to himself

Jane stares at him waiting for an explanation, she tilts her head to try get his attention, waves her arm at him, but he is lost in thought.

"Vince? Bonesman?"

He looks up at her, and clears his throat "I had a case, long ago. A Yale student ended up trying to kill his parents, he had to be put in mental care. We discovered he had gone through an initiation that had caused him to literally loose the plot. It was really upsetting, for everyone. The kid was claustrophobic and terrified of the dark, and one of the initiations rites was he was locked in a coffin naked with another male and had to tell all his secrets and masterbate."

"Fu-wha-seriously-why-nuh-uh - you're joking, right?"

"It's supposedly a way of keeping them silent, keeping it all secret, if you ever talked about them or what was done, they would expose the embarrassing secrets. The Alumni didn't let him eat or sleep or drink properly for a week prior, and he claims they talked about sacrificing babies. It was too much for him." Korsak looks depressed, the same pained look he gives when a stray animal is discovered alone and hurt. Jane is gob-smaked, her mouth agape and her eyes drying out from forgetting to blink.

"You better not be messing with me." she whispers.

Korsak looks Jane straight in the eyes and she physically braces herself for the rest.

"When he was found the cops weren't sure if he was going to shoot his family or himself, he was crazy Jane, mad. When they got the gun off him and were leading him to the car he yelled 'Bonesman' at the top of his lungs until his throat was hoarse then he just collapsed in tears and had to be dragged the rest of the way. The doctors suspected the meltdown was a drug induced psychosis. We never found anything that supported their theory and there was no drugs in his system. We were questioning the entire university trying to find any clue, which turns out was like poking a hibernating bear. Next thing we had the school threatening to press charges against us, the FBI telling us to back off and the senator calling the heads of departments to shut down the investigation. Which obviously we did."

"Sure you did" Jane almost laughs

"Well I might have done some digging on my own" He smiles triumphantly. "Turns out the initiations of a Yale's 'Skull and bones' are quite infamous, as well as the lack of any investigations into them - as if by magic.." Korsak wiggles his fingers making a rainbow shape on either side of his head. "I dug pretty deep and got nowhere...after a few years of poking in my spare time I eventually gave up. Can still hear that kid screaming 'Bonesman'." He looks remorseful, "Never did get closure for him or his folks."

Jane watches him a moment, she hopes this case isn't something that will haunt them for years to come, "I can't believe they get away with it."

"Judges and media and sometimes even police are in it or part of it, and politicians, and-" He clears his throat, unsure how the next part will sound to Jane, "Presidents."

"Presidents." Jane repeats slowly, "Which Presidents"

Korsak studies her face a moment, she is tired, there is no twinkle in her eyes, she keeps rubbing her hands together and her jaw is clenched.

"Well, Bush Jr and Senior, um, Hoover, Reagan, Ford, Taft, Jefferson, Buchanan, Garfield, Harding, Jackson, Johnson, McKinley, Monroe, Polk, Roosevelt, Truman, Washington, Carter and Clinton"

Jane's face turns ashen and she starts waving her arms like trying to disperse a bad stench, "Eww, they all did the coffin thing? Gross"

Korsak chuckles "I don't know, there are many types of secret societies all with different rites and they vary but they all seemed a little perverse to me."

"So this bonesman thing is what is going on here?"

"Maybe."

Silence fills the room as they both think about Hamish and what happened to him

"Will Hamish and his family get justice?" Jane finally asks

"I sure hope so. But I am not getting my hopes up Jane, this is really deep stuff. These groups have a lot of power."

"Yeah Presidents included." Jane grumbles rocking back in her chair and staring at the ceiling as if to challenge the fluorescent lights staring back at her.

Korsak starts typing on his computer, "President Kennedy spoke out against Secret Societies in a speech on April 27th,1961. He said _'The very word "secrecy" is repugnant in a free and open society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths and secret proceedings...Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried not headlined. Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned, no rumor is printed, no secret is revealed."_

"Wow" Is all Jane can manage, her head feels like it's literally about to explode. ' _Mistakes are buried not headlined'_ rolls around her mind like an tiny drum.

Korsak doesn't let up just yet, It's almost like it is a burden he has been carrying for years and is finally unloading it.

"Kennedy also opposed the federal reserve bank issuing Executive Order 11110 in June, 1963. He was assassinated in November 1963. Many people believe it was because he was exposing the secret societies, opposing the C.I.A and trying to stop the federal reserve getting control of the financial system, that got him killed".

"Oh, so this could be dangerous, yay." Jane pinches the bridge of her nose. "So where too?"

"I don't know" he answers honestly, "I guess we keep following the clues."

Korsak walks over to the crime board focusing on the pictures of the Victim on the crime board. Cuts on legs, ring, obelisk, drugs, fall from a building, fraternity, jesuit school, how does it all fit together.

"I should fill Cavanaugh in, I guess. That could be fun" Jane rests her head in her arms wondering what sort of reaction this theory would get.

Korsak scratches his head, "hmmmm."...

* * *

...To be continued...


	10. The chase

**Chapter 10 - The chase**

* * *

It is early the next morning when Maura arrives looking her usual stunning self in three-inch heels. She is carrying three hot coffee's that both Jane and Korsak smell as she descends the elevator and wanders into the bullpen. It's been a long night and they are both a little sore from napping in uncomfortable positions."OMG Maura I love you" Jane blurts out diving for the coffee and taking a loud enjoyable slurp, "Sooo good"

Maura smiles delicately at Jane and passes the other cup to Korsak

"You're the best Maura, Thank you" He smiles at her taking his coffee.

"Korsak is the worst barista in the precinct", Jane stares at him accusatory, "His coffees were undrinkable. He might have been trying to kill me" She whines

"It's filter coffee" Korsak mocks being upset spreading his arms widely, "I was drinking the same stuff"

"Sure you were" Jane takes another sip, pure delight all over her face.

Maura laughs at them both enjoying the banter.

"Thanks Maura" Jane gently smiles at Maura trying to pass on with her warm look that she is grateful. She tries to rub the kink out of her neck as she relaxes at her desk. Then she feels two warm hands start to massage, starting at the base of her neck, working their way up to her jaw and back down across her shoulders, it is heavenly.

She lets out a contented sigh. Maura leans down to her ear whispering "I missed you last night", causing Jane to gulp and her face starts to feel warm. She opens her eyes to find Korsak staring at her, his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face.

Jane sits forward suddenly "What?" she growls at him. He turns away smiling "Nothin".

Jane leans back into Maura hands and smiles up at her, a little twinkle appearing, "It wasn't payback I promise, I wanted to stay, with you."

Maura's heart jumps a little, she wants to kiss Jane tenderly, but officers are milling about and in a male-orientated workplace it would give them something to tease Jane about. She brushes her hands along Jane's jaw and steps away, missing the touch immediately. There will be a more appropriate time later.

Cavanagh walks into the bullpen and looks at his watch "You're all here early",

"Sir" Jane gets up to follow him into his office, "We may have found something".

* * *

Jane walks out of Cavanaghs office frowning, stopping just outside the door.

Both Korsak and Maura look up, Korsak had just laid out the case to Maura hoping her knowledge would help in determining the odd physical clues

"What happened" Asks Korsak staring at her

"He just said to keep him updated and be careful."

"Really?" Korsak looks surprised, he looks past Jane to Cavanagh, he was on the phone now and he didn't look happy, the two went way back and Vince could read the body language of his old friend, Sean was visibly stressed.

Behind him Maura walks to the crime board pointing at the photo of the symbol carved into the tree. "That's a 13" She states.

Both Korsak and Jane turn their heads sideways so the M becomes a 3.

"The number 13 is very significant in witchcraft and the occult...and is used extensively within freemasonry and that might tie into what Korsak just told me"

Jane mumbles something too quiet for Korsak to hear

"The what?" he asks.

"Occult" Jane blurts out.

"I will re-examine the body see if there is anything along those lines" Maura smiles sweetly at Jane and leaves, Jane smiles after her.

* * *

The school decided to co-operate, or at least it appears that way.

Four students were found to be in possession of a class-A drugs and questioning revealed they 'got the drugs from Hamish', no-one buys their tale.

"They are all lying" Jane crosses her arms leaning against the two-way mirror, "Do we think Jared got them to say that?"

Korsak nods, "It's possible. Their stories are too similar to not be planned. But we haven't seen or heard from this Jared."

Jane rubs her hands together forcibly, frustrated.

"The principle released the records of the fraternity 'Phi Kappa Beta'. They claim it shut down a few months ago. Most of the students merged into other ones. I can't tell if they are covering something or lying. We've got almost nothing to go on." She puts her head in her hands. "Maybe I should talk to the principle, give him a piece of my mind", she snarls.

"Great idea, let me call his lawyers and set something up, I'm really looking forward to staying up all night doing paperwork." Korsak deadpans.

"What have we got. The victim. Cocaine. Secret Initiation rites involving what? drinking goats blood maybe, a number 13 on a tree. Falling off or being pushed off a building he was never meant to be on and was supposedly locked, A student who may know something we can't find, and a school covering something we can't prove."

"That about sums it up Jane"

"We do have something..."

"What do we have"

"Absolutely nothing. But they don't know that" Her eyes sparkle and her dimples deepen as her smile breaks out

"You're right...I love a good bluff before lunch" Korask grabs his coat and keys and they head for the car.

* * *

The principle taps his pen on the desk staring at the two detectives

"Someone had to let Hamish up on the roof. And only you and the groundskeeper have keys. So one of you needs to explain."

"Neither the groundskeeper or I have unlocked that door in months, neither of us has had keys removed, stolen or any other incidents."

"Could It have been left unlocked?"

"No, we are very diligent."

"Well it was unlocked," Jane growls at him, "So how could someone have got a copy of the key?"

"I have no idea, detective." He practically spits, His face a picture of hate.

"We have a lot of evidence that might not go in the schools favour if it were to be made public before it is authenticated." Jane bluffs

Principle Adams eyes flicker as he thinks about this, his lips curl up and he eye's Jane up through slanted eyes.

Jane and Korsak stare back

Adams eventually falters slightly, his demeanour calming considerably,

"If I knew something that would be helpful I would tell you. What are you looking for?"

"What about Jared Stevens?"

"He has not been at school since the day Hamish was found dead." Principle Adams glares at them.

Korsak looks at Jane, this is going nowhere. It isn't working.

"Sir, we would really appreciate if we could talk to some of Hamish and Jared's friends, and dorm-mates?" Jane tries again.

Principle Adams stops tapping his pen and stands up turning away from them to look at the awards and plaques on the wall behind him,

"These students have very important social status with high class, well-known, aristocratic families. Being questioned by the Boston Police Department could have serious consequences for them on a social as well as political level." He turns back to face them, placing his hands on the desk and leaning over them, "I think it unwise to cause problems, unless of course you have a warrant"

Jane's expression matches Adams, it is like a western stand-off, both waiting for the other to move.

Korsak stands up, his chair sliding back noisily on the ground startling them both.

"I think it would be wise, Mr. Adams, that your fine college be cleared of any foul-play, as well as any intentions of your school to block an investigation which might appear to some to have a suspicious agenda. To discretely speak with a few students instead of having to publicly arrest one or two on school grounds would help to keep your fine reputation."

Adams taken slightly aback stares at Korsak for a moment, "I will allow you to talk to a few students, discretely mind you. I will talk to teachers and see whom could be of help." He sits down slightly defeated.

Korsak nods his approval and walks out with Jane trailing behind him.

* * *

"That was cool. Didn't know you had it in you, old man." She taps him on the shoulder with her fist.

"Yeah well, I doubt anything will actually happen. I think we might need to sweet talk a Judge, or pray Maura finds something that isn't circumstantial."

They are walking out the front doors of the main building when they see him.

They spotted him before he spotted them and Jane was already in a full sprint towards Jared before he caught her movement. Korsak had his gun out but had to lower it as Jane ran straight through his line of fire. "Freeze" she screamed as she barrelled down the corridor. He turned on his tail and ran taking a right at the next corridor and trying to pick up speed.

Jane grabbed the corner of the wall to complete the 90degree turn without slowing down, her boots sliding on the linoleum but she regained her balance quickly, she grabs her injured side as the stinging causes her to loose her breath. She was probably 4 meters behind him. Out the corner of her eye as the windows whipped past she could see Korsak keeping pace parallel to her on the outside of the building heading towards the right wing exit.

If Jared bolted out the next exit doors he was going to run straight into her partner. He didn't exit, he carried on down the hall and ahead of him she could see a fire exit, she had to reach him before he got to it. Korsak kept going straight, she figured there must be another exit up ahead just before the fire doors.

Two students walked out of a room on Jared's left just in front of him causing him to swerve and stumble to avoid hitting them head on, Jane took the opportunity to launch herself through the air throwing her arms around his waist, the force of her body knocking him forward, he threw his arms out to protect his face. Jane shimmied up his legs to sit on his back pulling out her cuffs.

"Don't move" she growls, panting. He doesn't move.

Korsak walks into the corridor and puts his weight on his thighs panting, "Jeepers Jane," he says between panting, "You flew".

Jane stands up pulling Jared to his feet and angrily shoving him in Korsak's direction, then leans against the wall to catch her breath holding her side, "I think I pulled a stitch" she chuckles panting.

"You're under arrest buddy" Korsak smiles tugging Jared towards the carpark, "Does your rich ass have a lawyer you want to call?"

* * *

"Hey Maur'" She grins waltzing into Maura's office, "Miss me?"

Maura chuckles, "Of course I missed you, I've had so little to do all morning."

"Ohhhh sarcasm" Jane laughs unsuccessfully pulling a hurt face

"I don't have anything much for you yet, Jane."

"It's ok I didn't come down for news." she says walking around behind Maura, "Whats that?"

Maura points at the O with a vertical line through the centre on her laptop, "That is the greek symbol for Phi. It somewhat resembles the faded symbols on Hamish's legs and arms. Which is the fraternity John named, 'Phi Kappa Betta'. It is possible the other marks on him are K's and B's but they are too faded to be sure. It appears the marks were superficial cuts made 4-8weeks ago."

"That might be helpful Maur', thanks."

Maura is about to turn her chair when Jane wraps her arms around Maura chest from behind, and pecks the side of Maura's cheek.

"Hey" she breathes softly

"Hey" Maura swallows trying to keep her heart rate in check

"Do we need to talk about us, Maur?"

Maura places her hands on Jane's arms, "You ask me like this, Jane? I never feel so alive as when you hold me or touch me. I don't want to ruin anything we have but I do want this, to see where this goes. I am happy. Are you?

Jane kisses Maura's jaw, "I am happy when you are happy, I've got nothing I wanna talk about either. I want to see where we go naturally. I want you to tell me if you aren't comfortable. I don't want anyone to know yet, especially Ma, but other than that I am great."

"Likewise, Jane. But you have to stop teasing me."

"Fine, no teasing. I actually came down here so you could check my stitches" Jane releases Maura and lifts her top up for Maura to see.

"What did you do?" Maura's tone already scolding her.

"Korsak says I flew. But like the Wright Brother, I also crash landed...on someone and it stung a little, and that was after I chased him around the school."

Maura chuckles sitting Jane down and checking under the bandage, "When I said for you to take it easy I didn't realise I needed to specify that flying and crashing were activities you should not participate in."

Jane winces as the bandage pulls her skin and the cut. "Sorry" whispers Maura gently kissing the red flesh. "S-okay Maur, How's it look?"

"You didn't open the wound and the stitches are fine, but you have certainly irritated it a lot. Just take it easy and it will be ok." Maura gives it another quick peck before re-affixing the bandage, "No more flying, Jane" Jane grins at this.

"Speaking of fraternities, I have been looking into a few. Sigma Alpha Epsilon, one of the largest US fraternities, and the deadliest, during pledging recruits have been subject to forced drinking, paddling, and other abuse. At least 10 deaths since 2006 have been linked to hazing, alcohol, or drugs at SAE events, more than at any other fraternity."

"That is a lot"

"In 2011, a sophomore pre-medical student at Cornell University died from alcohol poisoning after being blindfolded and kidnapped by SAE members in an induction ritual. Another student was naked, except for his underwear, and standing in a trash can filled waist-deep with ice. Fraternity members sprayed him with a hose and poured buckets of water over his head. Some of the events were so horrific that they could be likened to Guantanamo bay."

"So it might be a hazing death?"

"I am not guessing Jane, I am just letting you know some interesting facts as it might be helpful. It may or may have something to do with the events around Hamish's death."

Jane sighs, "Maura we have clues that don't fit, if you are going to allude to something can it please be something I can use."

Maura just smiles and carries on, "The 18-year-old freshman at California Polytechnic State University died in 2008 after downing beer, rum and 151-proof liquor at an initiation ritual. The Family sued the fraternity and members for negligence and settled for at least $2.45 million."

"Wow. So why are there still things going on like this?"

"Well in most cases, Fraternities have blocked efforts by legislators and academic leaders to curb hazing, drinking and other misbehavior. One political action committee, known as FratPAC, helped convince Frederica Wilson, a U.S. Representative from Florida, not to introduce an anti-hazing bill in Congress."

Jane pondered this, "So hazing is allowed even if dangerous?"

"Most schools have an anti-hazing policy under state laws, a misdemeanor, punishable by as much as six months in prison and a $500 fine. Consent of a student is not a defense. But the fraternities have insurance usually paid for in the base fee of entry or by members themselves to cover any incidents. Several Schools have introduced an alchohol ban and some students are reprimanded and even fraternities are shut down"

"And of course it's all done in secret", Jane adds. "Ok, I'm gonna go do an interrogation and come back to nap on your couch" Jane winks heading towards the door, "Thanks Heaps, Maur"...

* * *

...to be continued...

 


	11. Rites and Rituals

Chapter 11 - Rites and rituals

* * *

Korsak cuts Jane off as she heads to interrogation

"Jane. Hamish's father, Sir Roy Jones the third, finally made contact. He said it had to be an accident. That it was his old school and they were all his old buddies and would look out for his son. He didn't seem surprised that Hamish had drugs on him and he said he had loaned his Masonic ring to Hamish hoping to help him get accepted easier."

"Sir Roy", Jane chuckles, "Did he say anything about the fraternity?"

"Nope, He was a closed book on that. Indicated he didn't know if Hamish was even in a fraternity. He was firm that he wouldn't press any charges tho. He is flying back in the next few days to take care of preparations and will stop by to discuss anything. Seems he has decided it's a closed case."

"Hmmm. Well being a Sir he must be an expert, let me just pop down and let Maura know it was an accident." She smirks

Korsak chuckles, "Ok, lets take a crack at Jared shall we?"

"Let's"

Korsak rubs his hands together in anticipation.

* * *

Jared looked small in the room, not because he was a small guy in a large room but because he was cowered down in the chair looking like he wished to be anywhere else in the world.

He was young, with short dark hair and a slightly chubby face, he looked tired, a little haggard, but his face was stern, like he was clenching his jaw to look tough. He didn't have a lawyer with him.

"Why did you run?" Jane starts off

"Heard you were looking for me. Knew I was gonna get blamed for everything" Jared shook his head side to side in frustration never making eye contact.

"Anything you did do that you want to confess?" Jane lowers her head trying to catch his eyes but he is looking only at his lap.

"Yeah" he says suddenly looking up at Jane. "Yeah, I knew Hamish was in a bad way and I did nothing to help him."

It's guilt and grief Jane and Korsak see in his face, it is not what either of them expected.

"Explain" Korsak says gently opening his notepad and hovering his pen over it.

"I tried to help him, I mean we weren't friends but we were both having a hard time. The rituals and stuff kinda forced us to keep an eye out for each other, ya know, watch each others backs. We had both been picked on, least it felt that way. Me cause i was a nerd, he said he thought it's cause of who his dad was for him. It hadn't started too bad, but after enduring for 6 weeks with only 2 weeks left it felt like a waste if you left before it was over, before you made it to the end. We stuck it out, well I did, and there was one week left to go when Hamish died."

"1 week." Jane repeats questioning

"You rush for 8 weeks and if you make it till the end you might be in if there are enough spots. And if you're in you've got a chance to be great." he puts his head down again squeezing his shut shaking his head, "It's not worth it".

"The fraternity being Phi Kappa Beta?"

"Yeah" Jared replies twiddling his thumbs

"The Principle informed us that it was shut down 2 months ago" Jane feels her annoyance start to come out and pushes it back down. Someone is lying and she really isn't impressed.

Jared looks up surprised, "Well they are still doing initiations, maybe they changed names and didn't tell us. I dunno, I pledged to Phi Kappa Beta. We all did. Maybe they were doing it in secret". Jane is sure he was being honest.

"What happened to you there?" Korsak asks preparing for the worst.

"Lots" Jared growls angrily, "It started out not too bad but then the last few weeks it got really really bad. They blindfolded us and beat us with a paddle, I couldn't walk for hours, forced us to drink until we almost passed out and dressed us in women's clothing and diapers. We were confined for nine hours in a dark basement without food, water or a bathroom, while being blasted with loud music." A tear escapes his staunch face and trickles down his cheek leaving a glistening line. "I have dreams of the basement sometimes," he said. "I hear the yelling. It sounds like they're about to attack me. Then I wake up from my nightmare."

Korsak leans into his hand on his forehead, Jane can tell he is having a hard time with this.

"Hamish wanted out, but leaving the brotherhood wasn't easy. When he missed events, members called, texted and visited his room, he reported it to campus police, but they didn't care. He told me drugs could fix it all and he knew I had contacts so came with me to get some. I thought he was gonna use em to escape the reality he was going through and I couldn't blame him. He essentially has been blackballed from any social life, ate his meals alone and was miserable. His dad went to the same fraternity as him and told him once that he was weak if he couldn't hack it, he was sure his dad would disown him if he quit and they were scaring him so much he changed his mind about leaving. That's what he told them anyway, we weren't exactly close enough for him to tell me what his plans were."

Jared looks at Korsak who isn't writing much down, concern crosses his face

"I ain't makin' it up, they might try to make it look like I killed him but I didn't, I swear," he cries out angrily.

Korsak eyeballs him for a moment, "Sorry," he says gently, "I believe you." Then writes down some notes. "Please continue", his strained voice breaking the silence.

"Well, the ceremony that night was drinking blood and saying a stupid ritual. Hamish didn't do it how they wanted it done even tho he did it exactly like the rest of us all, guess they were mad at him, and they dragged him away screaming."

"Who are they, Jared?" Jane looks at him watching his face carefully.

Jared frowns, "They wore black masks and gowns like always and it was always dark, candles and stuff. But the members that ran the recruits are Oliver, Ricci, Harris and ...um...Shawn. They had to know what happened with Hamish. I think he had the Coke on him when we went in for that ritual." Jane and Korsak exchange looks, it is beginning to feel like a game of pass the buck. Korsak writes down the names.

Jared starts to sob slightly, "I know I shouldn't have been buying stuff, I just don't wanna go down for shooting him up and killing him. That's how he died right? overdose?"

"He fell from the Howard Wright Dormitory building." Jane informs him.

Jared stared at her shocked. "Really. That's where they took us sometimes. Took us up there for the initiations. Stood us at the edge and blindfolded us. Then said to walk forward if we trusted them. Anyone that didn't move was out. They put a barrier up after we were blindfolded so we couldn't move forward much anyway, but that we had tried was acceptable to them."

"Who took you up there?" Jane tries again for a name.

"Dunno, same thing, masks and gowns."

"Did you sell any drugs to students on campus?"

"Nuh. But my locker was broken into and my stash stolen while I was hiding out"

"Did Hamish sell any drugs?"

The corner of Jared's mouth curls up slightly, "No way, The kid was scared to touch the stuff himself. Hated the stuff. He was a good kid, kinda introverted. Wouldn't know the first thing about selling em. I figured when he wanted to use it he would ask me for help."

"Thank you Jared, we are going to look into this."

Jared half smiles at them, but the hurt in his face remains. Then he looks down at his lap again. "I can't go back to the school now, I am pretty sure they will kill me for what I have said. It's all meant to be secret, that's part of the draw to it. To be part of something bigger than you, something prestigious. They made us tell them our secrets so we wouldn't tell their secrets so they would be kept secret betwen the brothers. But when someone dies it suddenly seems like a little boys game. I don't wanna be part of it. I don't wanna see anyone else getting hurt. Thats...that's is why I told you." His eyes are shining, wet but bright, unburdened, the hardness is gone.

Jane smiles at him and nods her head in understanding before leaving the room.

* * *

Korsak rubs his head, "So the father went to 'Phi Kappa Beta' but said he didn't know what fraternity Hamish had Joined. Hamish stayed being brutalized because his father might disown him if quit. And Jared's stash was conveniently stolen and distributed among some other students."

"Same drugs. Are you sure?"

"Yep, Maura tested and the the test came back a match."

Jane shrugs, "Could be coincidence."

"There is no such thing as coincidences." Korsak chuckles shaking his head like it's common knowledge. "I am worried if we pull out those four boys, we are going to be in for a wild ride. But I will talk to a judge anyway. See if we can't get us a warrant that their lawyers can't eat up and spit out."

"Sure, let me know how you get on. I have a date with a pillow."

Korsak laughs and heads toward the bullpen, Jane heads towards the elevator.

* * *

Her phone rings interrupting her much needed mid-day nap.

"Hello" she grumbles trying to sound awake

"Back-off" A gruff male voice comes through he receiver slightly crackly

She sits up and pulls the phone away from her ear, _unknown number_

"Who is this?"

"You heard me, back-off Phi Kappa Beta before you or someone you care about gets hurt"

"Now you listen to me you little punk, you threaten me and my-" _blip blip blip_ the line goes dead

"Who was that Jane?" Maura is standing beside her desk surprised at Jane's sudden outburst.

"Don't know. I think it was a threat. How long was I out?"

Maura looks at her watch, "About thirty minutes. What kind of threat?"

"Back off the fraternity or someone gets hurt" Jane repeats staring at her phone. "I'll check into it" Jane quickly adds seeing the concern in Maura's face.

"I gotta go Maur. See you tonight?"

Maura smiles, the worry still etched in creased lines across her forehead.

Jane walks back into Maura's office and wraps Maura in a hug, "It's gonna be fine"

Maura hugs her back tightly and kisses Jane's temple, "Tonight" she smiles

* * *

...to be continued...


	12. Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when writing this story some time ago...here is about where I had a writers block...and had to change tangents completely as I had written myself into a corner. It's like staining the deck only to realise the exit is at the wet end, suddenly you have to find a completely new exit because you really can't wait for it to dry.  
> Being only my second story with a real storyline I hadn't thought a lot about where I was going with this so I started reworking my story retrospectively - and I am so glad I did.

Chapter 12 - Missing

* * *

Thursday 8:40am

_"I don't know where she is Maura"_ Korsak's reply caused Maura to sob, he had confirmed her fears.

"She was meant to come ho- come here last night but never showed," Maura spoke into her phone, her eyes closed, worry gripped her, "I figured she got held up in interrogations yesterday and changed her mind about coming over. Her phone was off and still is"

Maura's voice was quivering with emotion, a tear ran down her face, "Then she wasn't at work today and I know something is wrong." The sob at the end was obvious even though she tried to hide it.

" _The interrogations were yesterday but we finished up early last night. It's ok Maura, we will find her"_ He tried to reassure her casually trying to think where she might be.

"Ok" she sniffed before hanging up and sitting in her chair putting her head in her hands.

* * *

Korsak waved down some detectives, he knew Maura wasn't rattled easy so if she was worried he'd waste no time tracking Jane down.

"Jane is possibly missing. Get a trace on her phone, get her incoming and outgoing calls for the last 48 hours, get a uniform out to her apartment, I want to know when she left and if she came back yesterday." he hollered. "In fact get me the camera's for the street outside and put a APB out on her car"

Holiday poked her head out of comms room at the commotion only to overhear most of Korsaks rant

"Her phone is here." Holiday held it up and grimaced at the realization that Jane was without it, "She asked me to run a trace on a number she had received and put it on my desk, her work phone rang and she went to answer it. When I looked again she was gone. She didn't come and get her phone."

"What number?" Korsak stood up heading towards her at a pace she hadn't seen from him before

"Incoming call but it was untraceable, burner phone."

"What did she say?" Korsak wanted to know, maybe it would mean something to him

"Nothing, I didn't even know if it was related to the case," She replied "She just asked if I could trace it and that it was an unknown number."

Korsak rubs his face with his palm worried

"Find out who called her work number" Korsak ordered then turned to the bullpen

"Haven't found her car yet" Frankie informs Vince them both looking equally worried, "Cameras show her get in her car and leaving at around 4:40pm yesterday. They are on their way to her apartment."

"Good" He replies giving Frankie a compassionate smile

* * *

"You don't know anything" the voice was shrill in the darkness, "Everything you think you know is only everything you have been allowed to know. That is how the world works, it is how it has worked for a long time. You are the sheeple, you are the product of what we created. You watch tv and believe it and follow. You see the world through the illusion we create for you. You are in the matrix and you don't even know it"

"I don't understand." Jane whimpered, "What do you want?"

She was relatively unharmed, a bump on her head where she had been struck and some bruises and cuts to her knuckles where she had fought her captors.

"I want you to go away. But you seem insistent on poking where you shouldn't be. Poking where you were told to back off."

"You're the voice on the phone?" Jane squints into the spotlight in her face, the shadow behind it faceless and blurred

"Do you know what we do to people like you, Jane Rizzoli?"

"Is it anything like what you did to Hamish?" She spits in the direction of the voice

The sting across her face comes suddenly, so suddenly she bit her tongue, hard.

She groans as a trickle of blood rolls over her lips and drips onto her leg, spitting it out she glares in the direction of the voice.

"Hamish was in the wrong place at the wrong time, his death was unexpected. He did not concern us."

"Do I know something that concerns you then?" She retorts, flinching the moment the words leave her lips, instinctual fear that she will be backhanded again.

The laugh is evil, vindictive, uncaring, "You know nothing. But your poking is becoming a nuisance to a few young men who are counting on certain, shall we say, expectations."

Jane frowns, "They killed him, they deserve what they get."

She felt rather than saw the air stir with a hand being raised again, she held her breath, there was little she could do. Her hands were tied behind her back around the chair and each leg was tied to the two front chair legs. She could feel the chair was hard plastic and metal. For all she knew she could have been in the interrogation room at the precinct. Her eyes were unable to adjust to the light and the rest of the room was white spots from the burned image on her retinas. She refused to flinch this time, the only power she had was to piss them off and hope they slipped up, said something that could identify them. But the hand never came at her.

It's like they knew her game play and refused to let her win.

"Do you work for the school?" Jane asked trying to regain some form of logic

"I ask the questions here." the voice laughed

"Where is here?"

She could tell she had gone to far by the sharp intake of air a meter in front of her

"Here is where you will stay until you decide to stop investigating."

"It's my job to investigate."

"Your job now, is to call it an accidental death because that is exactly what it looks like."

"I can't...I...there's evidence...that..." Jane takes in a deep breath trying to control her rage, "There is evidence that he was murdered."

"What evidence?" the voice demands impatiently

"There was a note on Hamish, he wrote a message."

She feels the person stiffen and their shadow move, "There is no note." He sounds confident. "You're bluffing."

She tries to show through her eyes that she isn't, straightening up in the chair as much as the binds will allow, "There is a note."

"Where is it?" she can feel the hot breath on her face, he must be close. She squints slightly trying to see past the light, she can almost make out a shape, a large male shape with spiky type haircut.

Fists slam down on the desk in front of her causing her to jump. She remains stern. He can tell she won't answer.

"What does it say?" the voice is deep and angry

Without knowing what they want she can't be sure why they want to know. She can't say where it is or Maura could be in danger as well as the other tech workers in the BPD lab. Although they will eventually figure it out. It's already documented so even if it 'vanishes' it's invasion, its meaning will remain.

Maybe they won't go to get it themselves if she tells them, maybe they will kill her if she does. Her brain is processing as fast as she can make it but it isn't fast enough for the impatient male across from her.

"Bring it in" He calls to some invisible being somewhere behind her and she hears the door click and slide open, she tries to turn to see but can't. A trolly is wheeled through the door its creaky wheels groaning and stopping behind her.

Her eyes widen in fear as the looming figure in front of her moves the table between them away, it too was on wheels. The figure moves in front of the light source to stand directly in front of her, she can see only see spots still. Her heart is pounding in her chest so hard she fears it might explode, the rhythmic thudding resonating in her ears as the blood rushes around her body. Her mouth is dry, she want's to scream but won't give them the satisfaction.

"Do you know who is looking for you?" the voice is harsh and gruff, the question is rhetorical but she couldn't answer even if she wanted. "No-one" she can hear the glee in his tone. The thought no-one is looking for her is painful. She has no idea what her captors have done.

Suddenly, her stomach jumps into her throat as the feet of the chair are kicked out from under her lurching her backwards, that feeling of rocking on the back of the chair at the kitchen table before losing you balance and falling backwards, the surprise, the fear, the shock. She jolts to a stop halfway to the ground with a loud metallic clang as back of her chair crashes into the metal cart behind her.

She can see the white cloth as it descends down onto her covering her entire face. The cloth moves up and down on her mouth frantically, forced by her rushed breathing, fear gripping her tighter.

"It's a big club Jane, and you're not in it" The voice is inches from her ear, and the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Goosebumps begin to cover her entire body.

She can't see, she has no idea what will happen, and no one is looking for her. Her heart constricts, it could only be describes as a heart attack and she struggles hard against the ropes that hold her, wriggling her entire body. She wants to cry out in frustration but the lump in her throat is making it hard enough to even breathe. How did she think she would be ok. How did she think she could even get out of this.

The heavy weight of the ice cold water hitting her nose and cheeks and mouth spreading across her chin and forehead. The shock grips her first. She can't breathe. The water invades her eyes, her nose, her mouth. She fought down the first, and some of the second wave of nausea and terror. Gaging uncontrollably. Unable to determine whether she was breathing in or out, wheezing and coughing, flooded more with sheer panic than with mere water. A horrible sensation of smothering and claustrophobia.

Her brain screaming as well as her lungs for air, her nostrils burning, her stomach clenching tightly, painfully, trying to force air into her lungs.

She had read about waterboarding but absolutely nothing could prepare someone for this.

She couldn't breath, she couldn't think. Her lungs burned, she was sure her eyes were closed but she could still see the light disappearing as the room and everything in it vanished. Everything went black.

* * *

...to be continued...


	13. Finding Jane

Chapter 13 - Finding Jane

* * *

 

Thursday 1pm

"She got a call Tuesday, after interrogating Jared, and she yelled into the phone at the caller"

"What did she say?" Korsak pleads with his eyes

"She told me she got a threat and she was going to check into it." Maura sobs silently, "She didn't seem that upset by it. Yesterday after her phone rang several times again from an unknown caller, when she answered it they hung up. It seemed like a prank but I was worried so I begged her to talk to Nina. She said she would." Maura sniffs trying to control the tears

Korsak smiles gently at her, "We will find her, Maura."

Maura doesn't move or indicate she heard him. He want's to leave because neither of then like public affection but she looks so desolate and alone. He walks to her gently giving her a sideways half hug and she clings to him tightly. He holds her for awhile then pulls away from her grip, heading upstairs to resume the hunt.

* * *

 

_"Maura"_ her brain tried to scream as she woke. She took in several large conscious breaths of air, grateful for them, relishing them. She had been breathing since she blacked out but this air was hers to take and enjoy. Her lungs felt great. She felt alive. Air had never tasted do good. Her eyes dart around in the dark trying to see where she is.

Then her heart misses a beat as she remembers where she is and why she had been deprived the air. She gags merely at the memory of drowning.

_Breathe Jane_

She tries to calm herself, compose herself, wondering if she was alone, what was next.

The click followed by the bright light blinded her again. She was still lying backwards in the cold hard metal chair. Her body ached and her wrists stung against the bindings, the raw skin that rubbed as she struggled and tried to move again.

Another cloth descended over her mouth and she gasped trying not to loose control again

"Please stop" she begged already struggling for air, "Please" she begged.

She heard the jug being picked up again, recognized the same soft scrape of metal sliding against glass. "No" she cries, tears burning down the sides of her face.

Weight, water, no air, drowning again, trying to breathe in where there is no air, she thrashes about in the chair again fighting to move, to breathe. Again the panic sets in. Again the smothering. Again the pain in her lungs and nose. She struggles against the pain, lasting probably only a few seconds longer than last time. The pain kept her conscious until the lack of oxygen turned her brain off and her senses followed a moment later as darkness consumed her again.

* * *

 

Thursday 3pm

"No sign of her car or her at her apartment, and they went to Maura's to check, nothing there either" Frankie struggles to keep up with Korsaks pace as they moved from Cavanaugh's office door to the comms room, his voice was weak, his brow furrowed in fear, almost panting.

"Holiday?" Korsak yelled

Nina spun around to face them, "The call came from an internal number, our system doesn't show which phone but it had to be someone at BPD"

She gives Frankie an apologetic shrug, her eyes wet with worry for him. He closed his eyes nodding, accepting her comforting gesture.

"Question everyone here", Korsak yelled at no one in particular in the bullpen, "I want to know who she spoke to NOW."

* * *

 

Friday 4:10am

Maura woke in a cold sweat in her office, she had drifted off and had had terrible dreams of Jane. Waking wasn't helping her feel any better. Jane was still missing. She swore to herself she wouldn't sleep again until Jane was home safe.

Her mind drifted back to their dinner the night before Jane vanished, it had been wonderful.

She had arrived home Tuesday night to find Jane asleep on her couch. It's was a little after 6pm. She started to prepare dinner not wanting to wake Jane yet.

While she is waiting for the pasta to boil she goes to check on Jane. Jane is face down on the couch only half her face visible, her mouth open and arms sprawled around her, hair falling in every direction. Maura reaches over to move some of Jane's dark wild curls away from her face.

_So cute when she is asleep_

She brushes Jane's cheek gently with her fingertips and sees Jane's eyes move behind her eyelids, she is dreaming.

"Jane", Maura whisperers hoping to gently wake the detective.

"Jane" a little louder with still no response.

_Just let her sleep, she probably needs it. Jane can eat later if she is hungry._

Maura removes Jane's boots and places a blanket over her.

"Maur?" Jane mumbles sleepily and half opens one eye

"Hi beautiful" Maura smiles at her lovingly, gently brushing her jaw with her fingertips, "Are you hungry?"

Jane sits up slowly, rubbing her eyes and smiling back, "Yes I am. Can I help?"

"No just relax, it will be ready in a few minutes. Would you like a beer?"

The food was really good, Angela had shown Maura how to make a few simple Italian dishes, Jane's favorites were the ones she had practiced the most. Jane had eaten like her life depended on it.

"A Mother of one 15-year-old victim said her son was forced to walk around the team locker room with a set of water bottles tied to his testicles."

"Ewwww...Tesicles? Seriously Maura. You don't have a better dinner conversation?"

"Well it is on topic with hazing practices, which you brought up." Maura chuckles

"Well tomorrow after we speak to these kids I might have some stories for you."

Jane's grin is intoxicating, causing Maura's heart to flutter.

"I would love to discuss the secret world of fraternal practices of adolescent males with you."

"Maur, If it was anyone but you that would be the creepiest conversation idea ever."

I had been similar to dinner the previous night when Angela had interrupted them, seductive looks, soft lingering touches, sweet smiles. They were taking it slow, exploring this new side of their relationship with caution. But the conversation was what Maura craved and loved the most. It wasn't new, Jane had always engaged in their talks, no-one else in her life ever had, not even male relationships. She loved any stimulating intellectual topic, but especially with Jane, who was always deeply captivated, as much as she pretended to hate them.

"So, today I found out, the number thirteen is revered by Satanists and the occult as the number of death," Jane shares, a twinkle in her eye, "It's believed to have originated with Nimrod at the tower and city of Babel, who was the _thirteenth_ from Adam."

Maura nods as if she already knew, "The number thirteen is a major symbol in the occult, with death and Satanism. It is very significant in witchcraft and the occult. It is an emblem of a secret knowledge, a knowledge which does indeed confer power upon those conversant with it. It is a knowledge that religious orthodoxies have long feared and tried to suppress. Thirteen may be perceived as unlucky to those who fear the secret gnosis it represents, but for adherents of that gnosis it is, as it always was, a sacred number."

Jane processes this slowly, part of her day had been googling the number thirteen for it's meaning, it's significance to the markings on the tree at Boston College and the death of Hamish. Maura had obviously used a different google from her, one with with a higher IQ. It was never a competition, but she will try to impress Maura with her newfound knowledge anyway,

"The one dollar bill has 13 stars around the eagle, 13 stripes below it, 13 arrows in it's left hand, 13 leaves in its right side. The pyramid on the front side has 13 layers. And...there were 13 colonies."

Maura is impressed, her eyebrows are raised in wonderment and she is almost cooing in delight watching Jane, enraptured by her, mesmerized, a smile spreading across her cheeks, the topic exhilarating, she wants to kiss Jane in that moment.

Jane carries on oblivious to Maura's joy, "The number 13 also represents rebellion, a child becomes rebellious at around age 13." Jane raises her beer in finality.

Maura laughs, "Rebellion at thirteen? You are generalizing Jane, while certain cultures might find that to be partially accurate on average populace, I doubt that would be the overall consensus anywhere."

"You're probably right," Jane laughs with her, "Both Tommy and I rebelled at 13 though." She pulls out her cheeky dimpled grin reserved only for Maura "I am still rebelling too, you know...right now in fact." She puts her arms around Maura's neck and pulls her closer for a gentle tantalizing kiss.

Maura softly kisses her back, "That was a remarkably well executed segue, did you plan that?"

"Of course" Jane says between kisses

Maura giggles, "You taste like pasta sauce."

"I taste delicious." Jane pulls away licking her lips.

"This is true, Jane. You _are_ delicious."

Maura leans back in to kiss Jane passionately, exploring. It is electrifying. Lips finding a soft rhythm against each other, subtle bites and gentle nibbles, soft moans indicating to the other what is mostly enjoyable. Finally breaking apart only for air.

"You are delicious too Maur" Jane says peppering kisses along Maura's jaw then sandwiching Maura's bottom lip between her her own in a seductive departing kiss.

Maura runs the pad of her thumb across her bottom lip, feeling the moment, enjoying the memory.

She sighs sadly.

"Where are you Jane"

* * *

 

...to be continued...


	14. The Note

Chapter 14 - The note

* * *

 

"What did the note say?" Jane stiffened and shivered at the same time as the familiar angry voice brought her back to the present. She coughed as her lungs attempted to painfully suck in air. She wanted to throw up, her head was spinning and her chest ached, every breath like a knife in her ribs.

He wouldn't need to ask again, she would tell him whatever he wanted. She spoke slowly and quietly. Her throat felt like it was still burning, it was probably psychological, she didn't know anymore,

"He blamed the fr-fraternity for his death, said he'd p-pissed the wrong people off," her low voice hoarse and gravelly.

"Is that all?" the voice was void of all emotion

She couldn't remember exactly, it was a really long note, she had only read it twice, It had pretty much told her who was at fault so she didn't need to memorize the whole thing, and her head hurt right now, Her whole damn body hurt, "He tried to get help from the school b-but they wouldn't help h-him. I think he blamed his father too, or or something" She frowned trying to clear the pain behind her eyes, clenching her jaw to ease the tension, it didn't work.

She can feel her captor staring at her, his stare causing her flesh to feel exposed, dirty, the long pause caused Jane's heart to beat faster and louder, her palms sticky with sweat and fear and her mouth dryer than it's ever been.

* * *

 

Tuesday 4pm

"Jane? Jane. Come down to the lab. Now"

Maura's voice was so strangled with emotion and shock that Jane made it from her desk to the elevator in less than 22 seconds without even putting the phone properly back in its cradle, realising the elevator would take longer than she could afford to wait Jane was flying down the stairwell and into the corridor,

_No flying Jane  
_ She slowed ever so slightly at the thought, a left turn, a right turn, slamming into the lab doors with force. She crashed the door open so hard that everyone in the room jumped and froze, including Jane.

Maura was standing next to a lab table covered in items, she just stared at Jane blankly, mouth open, in surprise, Jane was staring back eyes wide, arms and legs spread as if she was surfing.

The door she had just burst through swung silently closed behind her as she scanned the room prepared for anything, panting slightly, looking for the cause of Maura's distress.

"Are you alright Jane?" Maura asked innocently, still staring at Jane slightly baffled

"Maur? What the hell? You tell me to get here NOW and I do and now you act like I came in unexpectedly?"

"Language Jane! Yes it is urgent, I just didn't expect you to enter like a frenzied non compos mentis. But come look at this."

Jane walks at a frustratingly slow pace over to Maura who is waving for her to hurry "Crazy person? Really? I thought you were...Well I don't know, in trouble. Next time its really really urgent I will make sure to take my time."

Maura feigns a smile and dives into the news without commenting, "We found a note stitched inside Hamish's shirt. It's a miracle we found it. He had made a tiny pocket on both sides so it appeared it was..." Maura hands Jane the note already in the evidence bag to protect it, Jane starts to read "... part of the design, the whip stitching is rather excellent for a student let alone a male, and we only found it because-"

"Wait Maur' let me read" Jane interups

_If you find this note then I am dead._  
_My name is Roy Hamish Jones the Forth and I pissed off the wrong people._  
 _This is not a suicide note, if I am dead then it was members of Phi Kappa Beta. It sounds dramatic because it is._

_I thought joining the PKB fraternity my father once belonged to would make him proud of me. He never had much to do with me my whole life but if i was successful like him I thought maybe he would love me. I just thought the fraternity members of PKB didn't much like me, they gave me a hard time calling me pathetic. 3 weeks into pledging I discovered my father had upset some people here and I guess it was easy just to punish me for it. I should have told my father I was going to rush PKB, maybe he would have told me not too._

_After being beaten in the basement for the 10th time in as many days, I decided to investigate a bit, find out about my father. I realized the hazing here was beyond normal and some other boys had ended up really sick from alcohol poisoning and other things. PKB had never been investigated on a single thing they did. I contacted the campus security who told me to quit joking around and grow a pair or leave if hazing was too scary for me. I contacted the college president for help. He told me if I made Phi Kappa Beta look bad he would tarnish my permanent school record. I tried to leave PKB but they wouldn't let me. Then Ricci found out I had contacted the head of the school and he told me I was going to pay dearly. I was scared, I knew I had to come up with a way to get out the school permanently. If I didn't, i figured they would kill me anyway.. My plan is simple...plant some drugs at the frat house, get caught with drugs, get expelled, and link the drugs back to the fraternity. Take them all down with me, make them get investigated, stop this madness.  
If I didn't get to the police then I failed somehow._

_To my father, I am sorry I was never good enough for you, I hope you are proud I at least tried to do the right thing. To my sister, I love you. Don't let me leaving you make you stop living to the fullest._

"Oh my..." Jane sits down in the closest chair. "This is...helpful"

* * *

 

She feels his presence begin to overshadow her again and he lifts a white cloth up in front of her once again, slowly moving closer, purposely, so she can see what is coming next.

She cries out begging "No please no please please no please" tears instantly falling down her face, "I don't remember but I can get it for you. Just please not that not again, anything but that, please, please." Jane pleads, her whimpers dying out as the shadow has paused in mid-air. She sniffs trying to control the stream of salty tears she can't wipe away running uncontrollably down the sides of her face, she is hoping beyond hope that he believes her, that he will stop.

He leans forward and she can see the whites of his eyes in the darkness, black black pupils like demons ones burn into her, it is terrifying, his eyes are full of only contempt, evil emanates from his spirit.

"What else?" he demands coldly.

"There's nothing, there's nothing else, it was an accident, he fell, he fell," she begs not caring how pathetic and weak she sounds anymore.

* * *

 

...to be continued...

 


	15. Waiting to Pay

Chapter 15 - Waiting to pay

* * *

_"What else?" the voice demands._

_"There's nothing, there's nothing else, it was an accident, he fell, he fell," Jane begs not caring how pathetic and weak she sounds._

She sees his hand moving towards her face and tries not to stiffen waiting for the contact, relaxing enough that when he strikes her it doesn't jolt through her neck like last time.

"Take her." the voice scoffs standing up straight before walking past her and out of the room. She exhales in relief, the sting on her cheek burning. She closes her eyes completely grateful for the moment, for the reprieve.

Footsteps come up behind her, the click clack of high heels echoing around the room, for a moment it reminds her of Maura, for a moment there is an impossible hope that Maura is here to save her.

The hope dissipates as the room goes dark, a heavy black hood is put over her face. She wants to scream, the claustrophobia instantly consuming her, the fabric touches her mouth, she tries to suck in air against the fabric, she is reminded of drowning. She must have moved involuntarily because arms restrain her on both sides, their grips tight and painful bruising her arms. She feels the restraints being removed from her legs and wrists, the movement burning her skin and then suddenly she is in the air, half carried half dragged out of the room. She is too exhausted to struggle. She closes her eyes and waits, her bare feet tingling with the friction as they drag across the cold hard ground, her own breathing heating up her face, it is claustrophobic, it scares her, but angering her captors scares her more right now so she doesn't struggle.

She collapses to the hard stone floor the moment she is released and lays still, unmoving.

Hopefully for a few moments at least her body can relax. Hopefully she will be unharmed. Hopefully there is no more. The door slams shut with a loud clang and it goes quiet. She pulls the hood off her head and breathes freely. Huge breaths of air, so deeply she breathes it hurts and she coughs. And then she vomits on the floor, her body heaving well after her stomach is empty. Until the pain from her ribs and her pounding head finally forces her to stop dry heaving. She lies down on her side rolling away from the new puddle of stench. She stays still, too terrified to move.

* * *

Friday 11:40am

Frankie swears out loud, "No one spoke to her from here. I've asked the entire department. Everyone says they didn't."

Korsak frowns, frustrated, tired. It's been almost 48 hours and they have nothing. It is like the case. Jane vanished without a trace. No car. No clues. No phone. No suspects.

"I was the one who called her.." Maura enters the bullpen and stops short of Jane's desk, "I called her about the note Hamish wrote"

Frankie groans, of course the morgue and lab are internal numbers, now they are back to square one.

Maura reaches over to Jane's phone running a finger from the earpiece to the mouthpiece, "She seemed really distressed about it and asked me to email it to her. Then she left the lab." Her eyes close at the memory. Jane had been upset, she hadn't wanted to talk about the note, she didn't even make a joke or assume who the murderer was. If Maura had to guess, she would have said Jane was livid.

* * *

Wednesday 9:45am

"Ricci, why don't you tell us the truth, it would make it easier on everyone."

His face is emotionless, until that evil smirk appears again.

"What makes you think I know anything?"

Jane squeezes the bridge of her nose, she would love to smack this little punk, he's been taking them in circles for hours now. "We have been over this. Are you really that stupid?"

"I have all day with nothing to do and when I am bored I will call in my lawyer" His voice is dripping with arrogance

"Are you threatening me?" Jane stares at him

For a moment he actually looks scared but then covers it quickly "Course not _detective,_ I want you to solve this case as much as you do."

Jane clenches her fists and releases a few times careful to keep self-control

"Let's try this again. Did you move the body of Hamish?"

"No"

"Were you on the roof with him?"

"No"

"Lying is obstruction of justice."

"I know"

"Was there a pledging ritual the night Hamish died?"

"Yes"

"What did it involve?"

"We just fooled around a bit, nothing serious."

"What did it involve?"

He glares at Jane "It's secret, it's between the brotherhood."

"Did Hamish drink blood?"

Ricci looks angry, "I already answered you, I don't know anything about what he ate or drank. The pledges make stuff up sometimes. I can't control them all."

Jane pulls out a piece of paper, "This is a statement made by an eyewitness , " _They blindfolded us and beat us with a paddle, forced us to drink until we almost passed out and dressed us in women's clothing and diapers. We were confined in a dark basement without food, water or a bathroom."_

Ricci gives that smirk again but says nothing, Jane continues, " _The ceremony that night was drinking blood and saying a ritual. And they dragged Hamish away screaming_."

She pauses for a moment, "Any of that happen?"

Ricci's eyes light up like he won the Lottery, "I wasn't there. Did anyone say they _saw_ me?"

Jane sighs, "Ricci, if you find yourself being arrested, it's best you don't get caught with trace amounts of the same cocaine as in the victim on your hands and clothes, and in your locker. And black masks identical to victims testimonies in your possession as well as a dead persons handwritten note saying you personally threatened them. I'm just saying. You know, you should be careful"

Ricci's smirk drops away slowly and he looks a little worried, "I think I will call in my lawyer now"

* * *

...to be continued...

 


	16. Suffering

Chapter 16 - Suffering

* * *

_Where am I?_ She holds in the tears that try to escape. She tries to swallow the sharp pain of a lump in her throat as she looks around her new prison.

The four square meter room has no windows, one steel door with no handle. A single light bulb hangs from a high cement ceiling, it is too high up to reach, the walls are grey cement, the floor matches. There is no mattress, no bed, no toilet, just a bucket in one corner of the room which had she seen it she would have used. Instead a foot away from the bucket is her own vomit, the smell burns her nostrils and eyes for several moments until she begins to get used to it. She pushes herself into the corner of the room facing the door and pulls her knees to her chest wrapping them up in her arms. She won't sleep she already knows, even if she could she doubts they would let her. They probably won't feed her either. Isolation and depravation are tactics used to break someone. Mostly psychological.

_What do they want_

_Why don't they kill me_

The thought nags at her

_They want me to call it an accidental death, will keep me here until I agree, how will they know I will stop. Where am I, would anyone find me here. No-one is looking for me..._

She whimpers at the thought, closing her eyes she tries to stay calm, she can't cry, she won't cry, she has to be tough, she has to fight. They want her to believe their lies, their tricks, but she won't. Of course her friends will be looking for her.

She tries to rub her sore wrists but the exposed raw fresh screams at her touch.

It could have been hours or days, she didn't know. The cold hard floor. The light in the room bright, annoying her senses and emitting an constant buzz. She can't shut off the brightness or the sound, the occasional waft of vomit stench still making her stomach turn.

Every so often she hears a distant scream, or banging. Right outside sometimes.

_Is this part of the torture are they trying to scare me_

Eventually Jane pulls her tee-shirt up over her head to hide from the light and she rests her chin on her knees. She allows a few silent tears to escape her eyes leaving wet spots on her shirt

_No one can see me anyway._

* * *

Wednesday 8:55am

Adrianne Harris finally answers, "I don't know what the number 13 means, we don't do occult stuff."

Jane walks around behind him, "We hear brotherhood is a secret pact for life, you do all that weird coffin stuff there?"

"No, no nothing like that" he blurts out sincerely, "Not that I know of anyway."

Harris feels the hair on his neck prickle, he doesn't like it when they stand behind him and when they stare right at him either, right now he has both as Korsak eyeballs him. And Korsaks right eye twitches occasionally making the kid even more anxious. It's a bit of gas but Vince is keeping that secret to himself.

"Ever walk around with water bottles tied to your testicles?" Jane asked still standing behind him, grinning at Korsak, she knew Harris was sweating

"What? No. Seriously? Why aren't you asking normal questions?"

Korsak leans forward slightly, if his eye twitched from this distance Harris might need a new pair of underwear, "Normal...questions, Harris?"

"Yeah, like, um, If I was with Hamish on the roof?"

"Were you with Hamish on the roof?"

"No of course not"

Jane leans down behind him, "Then what would be the point of asking?"

"I uh..."

Korsak chimes in, "Unless he's trying to distract us. Playing games."

"Are you playing games with us Harris?" Jane breathes near his neck

Harris shudders slightly, "No, no, I wouldn't do th-"

"Did you kill him or move him or touch him?" Korsak's eye twitches

"No" Harris cries out barely holding himself together

""It would be ok if you had?" Jane says standing up stiffly behind him

Harris's his eyes darting side to side horrified, "Seriously? how would that be ok?"

"hmmm," Jane begins to walk back in front of the desk, "Maybe it wouldn't"

"Look please, I'll tell you whatever you wanna know"

"Really?" Korsak looks surprised, "Ok. Tell me...what's the punishment for possession of narcotics for a 17 year old?"

"Huh?"

"Oh I'm sorry. Would you like a simpler question?"

Harris gulps

"You haze the pledges?"

Harris is relieved at a question he can answer, "Yeah we fool around a bit, nothing harmful or anything. It's a brotherhood so we look out for each other."

"Not harmful. What about Hamish?" Korsak prods

"I didn't hurt him, I swear. I didn't get involved in that side of it. Some of the other's were a bit harder on him. But we are brothers, we care about each other. We all got hazed, that's why we care bout each other"

"Hamish wasn't your brother yet, was he? He was a still a pledge. You could still turn him away right?"

"Yeah he was pledging, but it makes no difference. He was still one of us. Sometimes things go a bit far but when someone gets upset we stop or do it different."

Korsak scribbles on his pad before looking up slowly

"Who was hard on him?"

Harris looks down at the table murmuring the names, "Ricci, Shawn, Oliver and Joe run the rushes and the house. I just do what I'm told really."

"Ever been to the basement?"

Harris looks up his face sad, desperate maybe, "Yeah, when I was pledging. I couldn't forget it if I tried. They don't us it anymore tho..."

Jane and Korsak both stare at him

"...I don't think."

* * *

Saturday 8:40pm

Maura cries loudly not bothering to hide it, her heart feels like it's breaking.

Her hand clutches around the photo of Jane. It had been slipped under her door in a plain white envelope and was discovered when she arrived home.

From when she opened it she had collapsed onto the floor unable to move.

Jane's cheek bruised and swollen, eyes closed, bound to a chair, lying against a metal table her hair splayed around her looking wet, sweaty. Some metal instruments near Jane's head on the table. Maura has watched Jane before, when she was awake as well as asleep, many minutes, many times, many emotions. She had watched Jane both awake and asleep, joy, pain, fear, half-awake from nightmares, relaxed, happy, sad, content, lost. But Jane's face in this picture is something she has never ever seen. She doesn't understand it but it looks un-natural. It looks like some of the faces of some of the cadavers on her morgue table. Empty, pale, void of expression, strained with residual fear, yet calm in that fear. She couldn't from this picture determine if Jane was even alive, she could only assume she was as there was no chance she would obey the message that came with the photo if Jane was dead. It would be a manhunt led by herself, every resource at her disposal, cost not an issue if they had killed Jane.

The note with the photo that was now a little crumpled in her grip, typewritten on a small strip of plain white paper,

_Destroy the evidence, His death will look like an accident_

She hadn't cared about gloves, or preserving prints as they wouldn't have left any, she hadn't contacted anyone, she didn't know what to do. Jane had been missing 3 days and there was no clues to where to even begin looking. Maura hadn't slept in two days, was barely eating, and now she knew Jane was alive at the time at least the photo was taken, but not safe just as she had feared. There was no guarantee she would get Jane back, there was no guarantee even if she followed these instructions. She didn't care about her job at all, but she knew that whoever took Jane was trying to force the investigation to end, they were serious about what they were doing, they were bullies, and if she obeyed then Hamish would die without justice and she would be arrested for tampering with evidence, not that she cared when Jane's life was on the line and they would win.

She wanted Jane back and would do anything for her.

Hamish was dead, nothing could bring him back, Jane however was alive, for now.

Her ambivalence was causing her to feel sick, head over heart.

Of course her heart would win in the end...

* * *

...to be continued...

 


	17. Tampering with evidence

Chapter 17 - Tampering with evidence

* * *

_Wednesday11:30pm_

"Where is your lawyer, Shawn?" Korsak smiles waiting for this interview to go south

Shawn smiles back, "I don't need one, I haven't done anything."

"Anything we can prove you mean?" Jane eyeballs him

"No need for us both to say it, _Detective Rizzoli_."

She stares at him, avoiding any expression.

"Enjoy the power huh, Shawn?"

Shawn smiles, "Matter of fact, I do. You enjoy being powerless?"

Jane smiles at him ignoring the comment, "The last ritual, where you there?"

"Nope. I never saw Hamish that night, I don't know the kid."

"What about the drugs found in your locker?"

Shawn frowns, "Maybe the police planted them."

Korsak stares at him, "You protecting someone? best you look out for yourself right now Shawn."

"Good cop bad cop routine huh?" Shawn looks at Jane

"You'd like that, huh?" She retorts, "The fraternity was on suspension was it not?"

He looks a little worried, "Sort of. It was kind of a temporary thing, just keeping an eye on what we were up to, nothing official."

"That's not what the principal Adams said."

"You'd have to talk to him about that, I'm just a student." He crosses his arms

Korsak crosses his arms leaning back, almost mimicking Shawn, "What about the drinking blood?"

He is becoming comfortable at being evasive, "They were allowed to drink if they wanted, no one forced them too."

"Did you see Hamish that night?"

"Yeah"

"So you were there?"

"Uh..yeah...for a bit."

"You go up on the roof."

He smiles again, "I believe the roof is out of bounds?"

Korsak growls, "Answer the question."

"No."

"You're lying," Jane grunts "Did you move Hamish's body?"

Shawn smiles, "Do you have evidence I did?"

Korsak stands up leaning close to Him, "Maybe your answers will be a little more straightforward after a few hours behind bars. yeah?"

* * *

"Do you think they have classes on police interrogations, Korsak?" Jane asks once outside

Korsak chuckles, "I wouldn't put it past them. Who's next, Jane?"

"Oliver."

* * *

_Saturday 11:11pm_

It wasn't unusual for her to visit the lab at all hours. The security guard barely looked up

"Dr. Isles" He acknowledged giving her a curt nod before going back to his magazine.

She swiped her card through and took the elevator to the lab.

The evidence for this case was spread out on a table, the drugs, a needle, the note and the shirt the note was found in, the ring. It was a surprising minimal amount of physical evidence, the only piece completely mysterious was the note and that the body had been moved after the fall. Why it was moved she didn't know. If they had left him it wouldn't have looked suspicious. She picked up the note studying it carefully, it was plain paper and a standard ballpoint pen, the writing was shaky and the penmanship left a lot to be desired. Hamish had hand-stitched it into the bottom of the pocket making a similar pattern on the opposite side so attention wouldn't be drawn to it. A lot of care had been taken and the team had almost missed it themselves. A stray flash of the black light pointed in the wrong direction for a single moment had caused the note to glow phosphorescent white through the fabric catching the techs attention. It could easily have been missed, but here it was in a plastic bag, sealed, as evidence.

How would they know she destroyed it. She had no idea. There were no camera's in the room. She carefully removed the note and placed it on the table. Taking another evidence bag she put the note in and slid it into the top drawer of the desk unlabelled. She had messed with the chain of evidence, she would probably loose her job, but she couldn't destroy the note, not just yet. If she did there was no links back if something happened to Jane, or herself. She took another blank piece of paper out of the desk and folded it in half carefully, putting it into the original evidence bag and resealing it. She tucked it into her jacket pocket and left the way she had come.

Once outside she stood facing BPD and removed the note from the evidence bag dropping the bag in the trash-bin beside her. Taking out a lighter and quickly setting the blank paper alight. The flames took over the paper quickly licking at Maura's fingers, when it got too hot she dropped it in the trash-bin also. She looked up the road both ways, maybe someone saw her maybe they didn't, she climbed in her car and drove back home.

* * *

"Maura, Come, come to bed with me," Jane whispers in her ear and softly takes her hand gently leading her towards the bedroom

Maura follows obediently behind

It was late, dinner had been truly wonderful, tender, caring. All those nights together in the past paled in comparison, because they'd never taken this massive yet tiny step and shared their love for each other. It was so sickly sweet like a hollywood romance. Two friends becoming more than just friends and planning to live happily ever after.

Maura softly closes the door behind her and turns into the dimly lit room to face Jane who has a dimpled smirk on her face, she waiting patiently to see where they both are comfortable going. Maura just stares back enjoying being able to just look at Jane, see her, stare, ogle without judgement.

Jane steps forward and just hugs Maura, holding her tightly.

"Are you sure you're ready Jane." She asks confused at the gesture

"Yes. Are you?"

Maura pauses for a moment feeling her heartbeat in her chest and Jane's heart beating against her

'I'm not sure," she admits sadly, frowning at herself, "I'm sorry, Jane...I..."

Jane cups Maura's chin and tilts her head up so Maura can see she's not upset. Her eyes twinkle, "It's ok Maur', we have all the time in the world." Jane pulls her into a soft tender kiss, "Tonight..." She pecks Maura gently again, "...tonight it can just be like it always is. Heaps of innocent snuggling."

Maura scowls, "No kissing?" She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout

Jane chuckles, "And here I thought you weren't attracted to me?"

Maura half smiles her pout disappearing, "I wasn't then, you kinda grew on me."

Jane turns Maura to hug her from behind. She falls backwards onto the bed taking Maura with her, wrapping her arms and tucking her legs around her wiggling girlfriend. "Whatever you want Maura, as slow or fast, as little or as much," She kisses Maura's earlobe as she whispers tenderly, "So long as we have each other."

Maura sighs contentedly just loving the tender warmth

Jane nuzzles her neck like an Eskimo, "Life long best friends forever."

"Life long best friends forever, Jane", Maura repeats finally wiggling out of Jane's hug so she could turn and face her and placing a gentle kiss on Jane's eyelid, then the tip of her nose, a slightly longer one on her lips and the last one on her jaw before snuggling into her chest whispering, "Goodnight beautiful."

A single tear of joy trickled down Jane's face as she held Maura tightly

* * *

She must have dozed off for a moment because she didn't hear the door open, the click-clack of high heels snapped her head up out of the neck of her tee-shirt. She quickly wiped the tear running down her face and looked up. Steel blue eyes pierced her scared brown ones, it was the first face she had seen since she arrived here. The woman was stunning, tall and blonde, her blue eyes peeking over gold-rimmed spectacles. Soft features and a warm smile. She carried a clipboard loosely under her arm like a doctor. She was probably about as tall as Jane.

Leaning forward, she reached her arm out hand open to Jane, no words, just expectation.

Jane had withdrawn at the sudden movement and her face now completely surprised at the gesture. This was not what she expected. This wasn't safe. This was a tactic maybe, be nice to gain her trust only to destroy it again later, torture within torture, good cop, a game within games. She was a fly stuck in a giant web of deceit. The question is: who is the Spider?

The woman before her waits patiently until Jane, without another choice, stiffly reaches out her hand placing it in the woman's hand. It is instantly grasped and her arm is tugged helping Jane to stand, then her hand is released. The woman turns on her heels and walks out the door lifting her clipboard to read it. "Keep up" she calls over her shoulder. There are no guards. Jane checks the hall before exiting the room and follows almost in a daze. This has to be a trick. She stiffens her walk and follows keeping a few meters behind, checking every corridor they pass, pausing at every corner. She could easily tackle this woman, why is she free to follow, un-cuffed, no hood, no guards.

The woman enters a room on the right and Jane cautiously follows.

The room is simple, a metal table fixed to the floor and two metal chairs facing each other.

Jane could pick up a chair and beat this woman with it and there was no one there that could stop her fast enough.

But she didn't, she was afraid, this mysterious freedom unhinged her.

The woman gestured to the empty chair and sat down opposite it. Jane checked the doorway then sat as requested, or expected. The line was blurred between free and captive right now.

The silence lasted several moments while the woman appeared to read the chart. Jane struggled internally at this psychological tactic, trying to decipher the end game. She had used a lot of tactic in interrogations but taking away the other persons power was always necessary. This she would never try herself.

"Maura Isles" the woman finally says reading off the clipboard then glancing up to see Jane's reaction. Fire instantly burned behind Jane's eyes as they grew dark with protectiveness, her fists clenched, lips scowled, and any chance of hiding her true feelings from the enemy was lost.

_Damn it_

This woman knew Jane cared about Maura now, they had a weapon in this knowledge, it was more powerful than anything else.

She kicked herself inside, that's why they were nice to her just now, so she would be unguarded, and react in raw shock. They had worn her down and tricked her and she had not be able to hide her feelings which would usually have been disguised within the fear she projected outwardly because of the situation she was in.

"What do you know?" The woman questioned casually, as if it wasn't really important.

Jane knew it was a question about the case, not Maura. She stared at the woman wondering what was coming next. She should have beat her with the chair. She should stand up now and fight her, the woman would stand no chance against her anger and strength, despite not eating in however long it had been.

_But they might hurt Maura, they know about Maura_

They had restrained Jane with just one name. one identity.

"Not enough" Jane responded simply

The woman's lips curled into a slight smile making a few notes, "What do you think you know?"

Jane leaned back in the uncomfortable chair trying to relax, trying to think, trying to look more in control than she felt, "I think it was an accident" she responded slowly, she didn't know if they wanted the truth or the new fake truth, she hoped she had picked right.

The woman looked at her for sometime, she had a poker face like no-one Jane knew, her throat started to constrict from the intense wait. It was a cross between a stare down and a competition as to who could hold their stare the longest.

The woman finally raised an eyebrow and picked up a photo, placing it in front of Jane, "Maura must agree with you."

Jane sat forward to look at it lifting it to see better.

She hid her response better this time.

The picture was of Maura standing outside BPD with a burning piece of paper in her hand. It was taken from inside a vehicle not too far from where Maura was standing. The photo was such high resolution that she could tell Maura had been crying, red puffy eyes, creased forehead, the corners of her mouth pulled down, frustration in her eyes.

Her heart bled in empathy.

Jane could easy jump across the table and strangle this woman right now, at least some pain would stop if she did, but they both knew that wouldn't happen. Not if Jane ever wanted to see Maura alive again. So she waited.

"Keep it an accident, stop investigating, and you can continue in peace. Forget everything you knew, Jane"

...

* * *

 

...to be continued...


	18. The price

Chapter 18 - The price

* * *

_"Keep it an accident, stop investigating, and you can continue in peace. Forget everything you knew"_

She stared at Jane waiting for a response

Hamish died and his father thought it was an accident anyway, no-one would fight to disagree with the outcome, she could stop now and save Maura and herself, the evidence was gone now anyway, the note she told them about destroyed, gone, ashes. What difference would one wrongfully labelled death really make anyway

Jane nodded in agreement, "Accident" she said with as much conviction and determination as possible

"Good" the woman spoke, "I'm afraid your next trip will not be pleasant but there's no helping it." She picked up a needle filled with a yellow solution. "I hope I do not see you again". For all intensive purposes, it was a threat. Then the woman lifted a black hood out of her pocket and handed it to Jane. Jane watched the woman intently, She was afraid she would put the hood on and be taken to a dark room where she would find Maura's dead body. They would have no hesitation doing so. She would prefer they took her life not Maura's. She sighed taking in a deep breath and slowly putting the hood over her head fighting the nausea that rose up around her, taking all her concentration just to regulate her breathing.

She heard footsteps behind her and felt arms take hers, then a prick in her shoulder.

"Don't make me regret this Jane," the woman's voice was loud in a room that was becoming quiet around her "Your Maura, She does deserves to be safe" the woman's last words as the click-clack of high heels faded out of the room. She felt the drugs surge her blood stream and lowered her head as the world around her spun away into emotional darkness with no pain, no feeling.

* * *

_Wednesday 2pm_

"Oliver already lawyered up"

"Already? What did you do Korsak?"

He laughs, "I looked at him and he crapped himself."

Jane laughs, "I knew something smelt off." She points to the room with her thumb, "Rich daddy huh?"

Korsak nods slowly "Rich kids lawyers said Oliver was sick home from school that day and the maid can verify that. Also that he left the fraternity when it was suspended. It's probably a lie but we haven't got anything and with an alibi we are stuck. We've been going over fraternity photos on public platforms to see what party-goers posted but no links yet."

"Facebook can be helpful. Wait...lawyers? as in plural?"

Korsak nods, "He's got three of them, I could barely fit in the room." He chuckles

"I don't even have one lawyer. What about the drugs?"

"Well, the D.A. said that Hamish's note could actually exempt him from the charge of possession. As in proof it was planted by someone."

"Well if Hamish planted it then it proves Hamish thought or knew Oliver was behind the hazing. What about murder?" Jane scowls

Korsak shrugs, "In this case that would be up to a jury."

Jane shrugs, frustrated, bewildered, and leans against the wall, "One interview left. Can we get any of them them to bury the others to protect themselves?"

Korsak shakes his head negative, "It's a pact thing, girls just don't get it."

Jane snorts holding back a laugh, "Boys are sooo weird." They both chuckle.

* * *

_Sunday 7pm_

Maura had to go home, the bullpen was still a buzz as Korsak rallied to turn over every stone he could find, which wasn't much. As much as she wanted to stay and help she couldn't stay at work any longer. The bullpen reminded her of Jane, Jane who she watched as she exited the elevator everyday from behind, Jane who she surprised with coffee or lunch. The funny jokes she walked into and enjoyed the fun banter. Jane when she was tense getting nowhere pacing in front of the crime board with her seriously cute stubbornness. Even Frankie's desk reminded her of Jane. The action figure of Frosts on it. The name plaque RIZZOLI, and Frankie's face reminded her of Jane. Division one cafe reminded her of Jane, Angela reminded her of Jane. Conversations played over in her head, the bunny pancakes, laughing together at their table, Jane's reaction every time she had suggested a drink other than coffee. The halls they walked up, the rooms they sat in. Jane was everywhere. And down in the Morgue all the moments she enjoyed with Jane, over cases, jokes, experiments with fish tanks, poison scares that had them stripping...But worse her mind swarmed with scenarios and images of Jane, dead on her table, waiting to be examined for cause of death. She couldn't cope anymore.

She had spent several hours in the bathroom realising that if Jane died she would probably have to leave Boston, the loss would be unbearable.

She had to go home, to shower, maybe eat, to try to think, maybe she could relax for a few hours without thinking about a worst case scenario every few minutes. Or maybe she would go home and be reminded of all the wonderful 'Jane moments' that completely filled her life, every morning before work, friday nights cuddled up innocently watching movies, when they had kissed for the first time. Home was probably going to be just as hard but it was better than hiding in the bathroom, at least she could cry there without being interrupted.

* * *

_Wednesday 2:40pm_

"Joe" Korsak raises an eyebrow

"Joe, yeah" Joe smiles

"You have a last name Joe?" Korsak frowns at him

"Oh, sure, Williams." he does his best to look honest with a confident smile

"What fraternity do you belong to, Joe Williams?"

"Phi Kappa Beta"

"What is your role there?"

"I look after the pledges and the members." he smiles, proud of what he does

"How many pledges get locked in the basement and for how long are they there?"

Joe's face drops and his eyes flick from Korsak to Jane and back, looking for a sign they are joking

Jane stays leaning against the two way mirror her arms crossed. She hasn't taken her eyes off him yet.

Joe blushes slightly and starts to perspire

"I..um..." Joe swallows hard, "I'm kinda new, I transferred in. I don't think I'm meant to talk about this...stuff."

Korsak nods slowly pretending to write something down

Joe stares from Korsak to the notepad looking more and more anxious

Korsak finally looks up, "You don't?"

Joe doesn't move

"You've been named," Jane says from across the room, standing up and walking around Joe, studying him, "By a _brother_ of yours." She stops beside him leaning close.

Joe gulps, "Some pledges go down to the basement, usually only for a few hours cause it would look suspicious if they were late to classes."

"What happens there?"

Joe looks incredulous, "You don't _know_?"

Korsak half smiles at him, "We want to hear you tell us, tell us everything."

"It will be better for you" Jane adds

* * *

_Wednesday 4:20pm_

"The schools want to run it's own internal investigation..."

"Aw Hell no" Jane was preparing to launch out of her chair and have a tantrum in front of Cavanaugh and the team, "They can't do that, they keep covering this crap up, how many kids are gonna end up dead before they can't cover it up anymore, before finally the media has to report it. The note proves they knew hazing was happening and did nothing. As well as hiding it from us and hindering the investigation. They only want to do their own investigation because..one, they lied to us about the fraternities activities and that it had shut down. Two, they knew what went on and did nothing to stop it directly resulting in death. and three...um...three..." She was too wild now to think let alone speak when she felt two familiar hands gently rest on her shoulders calming her instantly,

"Three, the Principle is possibly involved himself and it would be a conflict of interests for them to investigate themselves. Principle Adams is a Phi Kappa Beta alumni." Maura finished for her

Cavanaugh watched them all for a moment before speaking. 'I wish you would let me finish before you flew off the handle Jane." He sighed to himself, "As I was saying, they want to run their own internal investigation, and I also had an almost pleasant call from the Senator to suggest we should not cause a public debacle. His words not mine." Jane stiffens again but Cavanaugh holds up his hand to warn her to wait, "However, because of the nature of the case and the extent of the damage, we cannot just close the case, and if the death is linked to the fraternity then we do continue to investigate that."

Jane sighs in relief

"The death of Hamish Jones is our responsibility and until I am sure the school wasn't involved we will continue as is. The school can investigate internally if they want as well but that will not stop us from our own investigation. I want you to find out exactly what happened. But please try and keep it all quiet and report only to me."

Jane looks over her shoulder at Maura and smiles.

"Yes sir."

* * *

_Wednesday 2:58_

"How is it that the fraternity has been able to keep it up without trouble?"

Jane is sitting opposite Joe now, beside Korsak. Both are surprised at the easy confession but horrified at the details Joe has revealed.

Joe does his usual sigh, like every answer is tightening a noose around his neck while at the same time moving him away from the edge of the chair he is precariously perched on.

"They have connections"

"More" jane growls at him, she is tired of squeezing for answers

"I don't know for sure the names of them, the connections, but they were all people that were once in fraternities, all different ones, all over the place, they got real good jobs and cause of that we got privileges too. Like going to parties with some of them."

"Parties" Jane frowns, maybe they had been barking up the wrong tree.

"Yeah, cool parties, like fundraisers and stuff. There are sometimes celebrities there, and famous people. Rich rich powerful people"

"And they are all a part of these..." Jane waves her arm about trying to find the word, "groups."

Joe nods. "Most of them are freemasons or similar or would be one day. Others were higher than even that. Different rites and levels. One party we went to they had a costume party and it was at some rich mansion. They all wore bird masks and red cloaks and they did pretend rituals and stuff, and drunk blood. We guessed it was to show us how it was done. One guy told me it was for reals tho. It was cool, kinda like that eyes wide shut movie. We sorta tried to copy it." his face tinges with guilt.

"And Hamish?" Jane says with a huff out her nose

Joe looks down "I think Hamish figured it out. Bout who they were. Told me he was in real trouble. Said he had been trying to get out but the people he was escaping from weren't even at the top. That he was in double trouble now, They weren't happy he tried to get Phi Kappa Beta in trouble neither."

Jane and Korsak wait for more, for some cryptic key to unlock the meaning, but there is none

"How did Hamish die?" Jane finally asks

Joe looks up at them surprised, like they hadn't been listening to a word he said

"They probably killed him. They're the ones that usually tell the guys what to do"

"Who is _they_?"

Joe frowns and lowers his head looking suspiciously around the tiny empty room.

"Them...you know...the old boys, the spooks", he whispers

"Oh" Jane whispers back, "all of them?"

Joe frowns, "Low down guys don't get a choice and _we_ are at the bottom. The very bottom. You gotta follow orders or bad things happen right? Orders are from up top. So yeah they probably killed him but...well, they didn't touch him..." He looks down sadly, his throat chokes up, "..we did it."

* * *

_Your Maura, she does deserve to be safe_

Jane woke up dazed, and in the dark, her hands were free, she tore the hood off her head and threw it as far a way from her as she could taking in deep deep breaths of air. She looked around, her brain processing, her heart slowly returning to a normal pace. She was slumped against a dumpster, she was in an isolated area that even in the dark almost moonless night, she thankfully recognised. It was a few streets east of Maura's house, It was probably their way of letting her know they knew exactly where Maura lived. A reminder to close the case.

_Your Maura, she does deserve to be safe_

She didn't move for a long long time, until the pain of staying in the uncomfortable position, on the ground, became unbearable. Slowly, slowly, she pulled herself to her feet and began the walk towards Maura's. She was only half a street away when it began to lightly rain. Very quickly light rain became heavy rain and Jane dived out of it the moment it touched her, like a terrified child from a villain, into the nearest doorway, holding her tight chest, breathing quickly and panting heavily.

_What on earth Jane? it's just rain, what are you so afraid of_

She peered out at the rain, falling water dripping on the ground near her feet, the sound reminding her of the water hitting her face, she shivered wrapping her arms around herself.

_Well I'm a real mess now aren't I_

She groaned, Maura's house wasn't far away, she could run, but the water terrified her, gurgling and beginning to torrent down the street. Congealing down windows and pooling in dips in the ground. She could wait but it was freezing and showed no signs of letting up for awhile and she really wanted to be safe and warm and find Maura. Something stirred inside the house of the porch she was sitting on so she decided to move.

She made a run for the next house along, the rain moving sideways at speed beating onto her face, droplets stinging her cheeks causing her to gag uncontrollably. She slumped down on the undercover alcove as she reached it, struggling for air. The next house away was Maura's, she sighed, she was so so close to home.

She took a final bated breath, heaved herself to her feet and rushed forward, so close, so close. Her bare foot with no traction slipped under her on the wet tiles and her face met the ground with a shallow thud.

* * *

...to be continued...


	19. Home

Chapter 19 - Home

* * *

_Sunday 7:50pm_

The rain was pelting down now, with the windscreen wipers on the fastest setting visibility was still low, water was torrenting in tiny rivers down the sides of the road and it was getting gusty, it was almost winter so it was getting dark earlier every day. She turned into her driveway dreading the short distance just from the car to the house. Thats when she saw Jane, sitting against her front door holding her face in her hand. Her dark hair stark against the white walls.

She leapt out of the car racing up the steps as if there weren't any

"Jane" she shrieked squatting down beside her friend reaching a hand to Jane's face. Jane turned to look at her out the one uncovered eye, blood trickling down her face.

"I'm ok" she whispered hoarsely.

* * *

Maura unlocked the front door and helped Jane onto her feet and helped her inside, She noticed Jane's grip was strong and tight, like she didn't want to let go, she would also be ok if she too could hold Jane forever.

Maura's house was like heaven to Jane's senses, warm, clean, smelled like roses and vanilla. And to hold Maura and know she was safe was magic.

Maura forced Jane to sit on the couch with Jane protesting, "Maur' I'm wet, dirty and bloody, I don't wanna wreck your couch."

Maura scoffed, "Jane I don't care about the couch"

She gives Jane a warm sweet smile concealing her worry, while rummaging around to find the things she needed, a cloth, alcohol prep pads, medical kit and a dry towel

Maura notices Jane's pupils are slightly hazy and distant as she sits there waiting. There are no signs of concussion although she will be extra watchful. A glimpse of Jane's wrist, it is red and raw, like rope burn. She discreetly checks the other hand while sitting back down beside Jane reveals it is the same.

"Where are you hurt?" Maura asks gently

"Just my head"

"Let me see" she reaches up moving Jane's hand away, its a tidy gash but swollen, the wound looks clean and the bleeding itself has flushed out debris. She carefully wipes away the blood and tilts Jane's head back to get a better look.

"It's not to bad" she reassures Jane.

Jane doesn't take her eyes off Maura, her chin in Maura's cupped hand. She can feel the love emanating from her.

"How long were you outside for?"

"I don't know," was the murmured reply, "I slipped on your neighbors path and fell. Then kinda hobbled here, didn't know I was bleeding until I sat down and saw the red everywhere."

Maura gulps, she should have been home waiting for Jane to return, not having pity parties in the bathroom. "It won't need stitches" Maura smiles preparing some butterfly tabs, "What happened? Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"I ..." Jane tries to respond but her brain refuses to think on the not to distant past, "I fell...I fell...I'm not hurt anywhere else"

"Where were you?"

Jane just gazes at Maura, seemingly content to remain silent

"Who took you, Jane?"

Jane shrugs slightly, barely, her eyes downturned her demeanour suddenly distant

Maura bites her lip, whatever is going on Jane isn't ready to talk about it.

Using a little bit of glue she seals the wound and uses the butterfly tabs to hold it in place. Then she runs her hand down Jane's cheek, Jane moves her head away from the touch slightly and looks down at her lap.

_Your Maura, she does deserve to be safe_

"What's wrong?" Maura is filled with concern.

Jane is different, she could feel it before, now she can see it.

"Thank you for what you did. you know..." Jane swallows hard, "with the evidence."

Maura doesn't try to hide the surprise on her face, "Oh?"

"You look really tired, Maur" Maura just nods softly in response to Jane

Maura looks Jane up and down, deciding where to go next, "Is there any evidence I can get off you...physical DNA?"

Jane thinks silently for a moment, she had fought them at some point but there was probably no transfer of DNA.

"I doubt it. Maybe just my clothes. How long was I gone?"

"A little over four days"

Jane's eyes spring wide in surprise, "Really? Crap, I'm so sorry Maur. I had no idea."

She wants to hug Jane but doesn't want to upset her either, "Jane, it's not your fault, it wasn't your choice."

Jane nibbles her lip, she wonders how much Maura knows.

"I need to sleep Maur." Jane whispers then yawns, "We can talk later" she starts to get up

"No, you need to shower and change out of the wet clothes and put on something warm. It's not a request." And Maura is already tugging Jane to her feet careful to avoid the wrists.

"Fine" Jane sighs, too tired to argue

"And I need to fully examine you too, especially your wrists"

"Fine" Jane replies padding up the stairs to wash and change.

* * *

_Sunday 8:22 pm_

"She is here"

Korsak sighs out in a loud breath his pent up relief crackling across the line, " _Is she ok?"_

"Physically she should be ok..." Maura pauses not sure how to continue, "Something is different though, we haven't talked, she is tired."

_"Did she tell you anything yet?"_

Maura takes in a deep breath and releases it in a huff, "No. Not verbally."

_"But?"_

"She was bound at some point, her wrists are so raw, and she is really distant."

The pause is short but gives time for Korsak to accept the information and process the possibilities

"But she is alive and fully coherent" Maura continues

_"I will have to take her statement at some stage."_

Maura nods despite Korsak not being able to see her, "I'll call you when she is ready to talk. Should I take her to the hospital?"

_"Do you think she needs to go?"_

"No she doesn't, not physically anyway, I plan to do a more thorough investigation shortly."

" _Take her if you think she needs too, or wants too, it wouldn't be like her she did. And if she is upset and won't go willing it might be best not to aggravate her"_

"I will keep you updated." She responds rubbing her forehead

_"Ok Maura."_

"Vince?" Her voice breaks slightly

_"Yeah"_

"I need to talk to you about something case related. But it can't be over the phone. Can you come here later?"

_"Sure. I will bring Jane's phone with me. I need to sleep though, the whole team needs to sleep for now. I will call you when I am up."_

"Ok yeah, great. Did you get a trace on the calls to Jane?"

_"No. Holiday is still working on it. Found Jane's car though, it was burnt out in a ditch on the outskirts of town. It was unrecognisable. No prints or anything."_

"Alright. Thank you. Talk to you soon Vince."

Maura hangs up and turns towards the stairs, the shower had been on a long time, she decides to go check on Jane.

She knocks softly on the door "Jane?"

The only response is that of the sound of the shower running. Cautiously she pushes the door open and see's the pile of clean clothes on the floor. Then Jane sitting slouched against the opposite wall fully clothed, her eyes scrunched tightly closed and her hands on either side of her ears squeezing tightly and rocking backwards and forwards. Her mouth is open and her breathing panicked.

Maura moves quickly to her and tries to shake her shoulders, calling over the loud sound of water beating on the side of the shower wall. Jane refuses to budge.

Maura turns the shower off and sits in front of Jane placing her hands over Jane's hands. Jane continues to rock slightly, less as she becomes aware of the silence around her. She finally opens her eyes to see Maura's face inches away and forces her breathing to slow. She moves her hands away while Maura keeps hold of Jane's hands watching her carefully.

"What happened Jane? You scared me"

Tears start to leak out of Jane's eyes as she closes them and Maura can only take Jane's body in her arms and hold her while the woman she loves begins to sob.

"What have they done to you"

* * *

...to be continued...

 


	20. Washing it away

Chapter 20 - Washing it away

* * *

 

_"What have they done to you"_

It is several moments before the detective is calm. Maura leans away to check on her, making eye contact.

"The water" it's a whisper and it is the only explanation Jane can give.

"Come" Maura stands up pulling Jane with her and walking her to the bed. Jane feels sick at the uncontrollable fear as well as the worry in Maura's face. She whimpers as they sit on the bed. Maura gently removes Jane's grubby and stained tee-shirt, it was white once, now it is grey and black with red orange blood smears across the front and yellow sweat marks around the collar and under the arms. Maura gets some warm soapy water and looks in Jane's eyes.

"Is this ok? She holds up the wet washcloth. Jane nods and Maura begins to wash her gently taking note of all the new bruises and cuts since last she did this. Jane sits stiffly allowing it to happen to her, trying not to move.

She has green and purple marks from her shoulders to her elbows. A few blueish bruises across her collarbone, like someone held her down. A few red marks on each shoulder, like bug bites or irritated needle marks. Other than the raw wrists, bruising on her left cheek, the gash above the right eyebrow and the tired dark eyes, she looks relatively healthy. After a thorough wash she puts a clean tee-shirt over Jane's head waiting for Jane to put her arms through the holes. Next she washes Jane's neck and moves up towards her face, again Jane pulls away from the touch looking at the ground.

"Jane, I'm not going to hurt you"

After a moment Jane nods that its ok.

Maura carefully wipes Jane's brow and cheeks and chin, wiping the old dirt and smears away as well as some blood that had dried near her ear and neck.

Next Maura pulls Jane's pants down off her hips, Jane lies back on the bed to help and stares at the ceiling. Maura washes the thighs and legs carefully and finds the same ligature marks on Jane's ankles. She is careful to clean the area without causing her pain. Jane doesn't show pain if she feels any, she is so still it's like she is unaware of her surroundings. Maura wraps the ankles in a soft gauze bandage to give a layer of protection and then slips on some Yoga pants and slides them up, Jane instinctively lifts her butt off the bed. Maura then wraps Jane's wrists as well.

Maura see's no emotional reaction at all from Jane which worries her more. She sits close to Jane and places a hand on Jane's thigh, waits a moment and slides her hand to Jane's hip expecting Jane to push her away, but she doesn't. She lies down on her side beside Jane and reaches out to touch her face and Jane turns away from her.

_What is going on_ , she wonders silently. _These reactions are not normal._

She whispers in Jane's ear, "Were you raped?"

"No" is the whispered response, "I am fine."

"Are you hurting anywhere?"

"No, I'm fine." Jane grunts defensively

"No you aren't fine Jane." Maura says wrapping an arm around Jane's chest and holding her tight then rests her lips and chin on Jane's shoulder giving it a gentle kiss.

"Are you hungry?"

Jane shrugs and just stares at the ceiling.

"Will you go to the hospital to get checked?"

"No" it's a whisper but also stern and annoyed.

After about 20 minutes of silence her eyes drift shut and her breathing evens out. Maura stays watching her until she is about to fall asleep also.

"Come back to me, Jane" a whisper so quiet she would never hear it anyway.

* * *

 

_Monday 1pm_

It's the sound of knocking that wakes her and she opens her eyes. Jane is now facing her and their foreheads rest against each other but Jane is still asleep.

Maura reaches out and strokes the side of jane's face, this time there is no pulling away. She leaves Jane to sleep and goes to let Vince inside.

"Hi Maura. How is she?" Vince steps inside removing his heavy coat and boots

"I don't know Vince. I am going to take a few days off to stay here until I'm sure."

"Understandable. Angela is with Frankie by the way. They just sorta filled her in, she isn't too happy, but she is going to give you and Jane space for a few days and stay with Frankie. We played the whole thing down a lot"

"Thank you Vince" Under her breath she silently adds so only he can hear in case Jane is awake, "She freaked out at the shower, she wouldn't go in."

She watches a certain strained look cross his face as he looks towards the ceiling almost like he can see through the floor to Jane and make a determination.

Maura puts the kettle on the stove and prepares some tea for them both. Korsak gratefully accepts it and they sit in silence sipping.

Maura finally turns to Korsak, "I don't know how to tell you this Vince. That night I came home, there was a parcel under my door. Inside was a photo of Jane and a note."

Korsak's eyebrows almost merge with his hairline in surprise.

Maura pulls out both the photo and the note giving them to Korsak to study. She watches him frown at the picture and then turn the note over in his hands to check the back.

"You destroyed evidence. Maura, this is serious."

Maura's face is appalled that he would think she would do that. She shakes her head at him. His brow is furrowed and deep.

"No I didn't destroy it. I _faked_ destroying it." she whispers extremely quietly

Korask's face is full of relief, mainly because he really wouldn't want to arrest Maura

"How did you know it would work?" He queries

"I didn't. But I didn't have a choice. They want it look like an accident." She puts her head in her hands releasing the air out of her lungs heavily. She is frustrated by this situation.

"Has Jane told you anything?" he asks trying to find a clue in the photo of Jane.

"Nothing" Maura reply's despondently

"The erm, shower thing and the ligature marks..." Korsak looks darkly at Maura, "If she was tortured it won't be the scars on the outside that will be the problem. She will need time, and support. She will talk about it in time."

He doesn't sound 100% convinced himself and he looks back at the photo of Jane he still holds.

"If she can help us then we can catch them...otherwise we have nothing."

Maura nods and turns towards the stairs and to Jane standing there watching them both, a half smile on her face, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

_God, she is beautiful._

Maura can't help but think it, she is caught completely off guard, no time to catch herself and remain professional. Jane's teeshirt is a loose wide neck one and it is hanging off her shoulder completely exposing the skin of her neck and upper arm, her pants clinging to her long legs, her stance is confident and exuberates strength. She looks so much better after a sleep.

Korsak turns to see why Maura is frozen on the spot

"Jane. You look awful. What happened?" He teases, waving her into the room. She stalks towards them and sits down slowly.

"You hear much of that?" He looks at her gently

"None" she replies honestly

Maura puts some food on the counter for all three and they eat in silence. All deep in their own thoughts.

"Sooo...how are you?" Korsak ventures once food is no longer a temporary distraction

Jane half smiles briefly making eye contact. "I'm fine"

Korsak holds up the picture of Jane he had been looking at for her to see, and instantly all the colour drains from her face and she looks away quickly. She can't see that, not yet. She pushes Korsak's arm away from her and fights the sudden urge to hurl.

"Don't" she whispers, "Don't show me that."

It's a reaction close enough to what he expected and he immediately places it face down on the counter.

"What did they do?"

She stares at the counter eyes glazing over at the memories and she shakes her head to try to forget

Korsak asks again, "What did they want?"

Maura puts her hand on Jane's back causing a tear to fall from her eye. She places both hands over her face holding them there. What can she say.

She slides her hands away from her face wiping the stray tears with them and swallows. She starts rubbing her thumbs over her scars. Another horrific memory she has to bury to survive.

"It was an accident. Hamish fell. Case closed."

Maura and Korsak exchange a look over Jane's shoulder.

"Humph," Korsak scoffs, "Jane you just went through a lot, you were tortured. It's going to take time to heal from that. But it was no accident."

"He fell, and I'm fine." Jane says loudly, firmly

Korsak sighs, "I don't know what to say Jane. You know what Maura did for you? It is really important you tell us what happened so we can understand the link and catch them."

Jane glances to Maura, she does know what Maura did, and she can never repay that. The saying 'stuck between a rock and a hard place' doesn't even do this justice. Damned if you do and damned if you don't might be a better fit.

_Your Maura, she does deserve to be safe_

Jane has to protect her, that is the only thing she is sure of and right now there's only one way to achieve that.

"Korsak," she pleads, "What happened to me is nothing compared to what will happen IF I tell you anything other than it was an accident."

Korsak raises his eyebrows, "Yeah...and how did he get up there, inject himself with Cocaine, fall off the roof, and drag himself 20 meters to the obelisk without leaving a trail?"

Jane shrugs, "You'll have to figure that out"

Korsak narrows his eyes, "I would protect you Jane, we all would. We can put you in police custody, witness protection, the whole shebang."

Jane laughs cynically, she looks mildly amused in a despairing way. Of course she knows he would try, but she knows they would not succeed.

"You can't protect us Korsak, your intentions are good but it's impossible."

"Us?" He frowns perplexed

"I can't talk about this" Jane says gently, she cares about them, that is the problem. It isn't a situation she can't just run away from. She can't sacrifice herself. No, this was different, her actions could put everyone she cared about in danger, from rich and powerful people in high up places that could find her anywhere, anytime, they already proved that. They knew about Maura, and her family. "I'm going back to bed" she placed a hand on Korsaks shoulder as she passed him, giving a slight squeeze. "Thank you for caring Korsak, and I am really sorry I can't help you with the case and _really_ sorry you have to repeat the 'bonesman' case again." Leaning even closer she whispers, "I am sorry Hamish won't get justice but I do strongly recommend you walk away from this too, and Maura, for everyones sake. It _was_ an accident. I'm sorry."

"S'okay Jane, I'm sorry too, I understand" Korsak smiles sadly, getting up to leave, "Jane, Maura. talk to you later"

Jane walks back up the stairs into the dark bedroom. She sits on the end of the bed and contemplates her next move...

* * *

 

...to be continued...

 


	21. The funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I screwed up a bit and didn't think about the filling in of some scenes (I was lazy...but I promise to not take a shortcut on the end now)...then when I did fill it all in properly I had to rewrite a few upcoming half-written chapters so it wouldn't eventually contradict itself, and obviously my 'quick ending' set to be about 5 chapters ago has taken a life of it's own and now i'm trying to merge MY original idea of this with where it's going on it's own. I have learned...Never start a story you don't know how you'll finish. In hindsight...Hamish's body shouldn't have been moved (seemed a good idea at the time lol) and as much of a problem as it has been, it is equal parts enjoyable and challenging to resolve. Hope you enjoy it tho :)

Chapter 21 - The funeral

* * *

 

_Monday 7pm_

"Shut the window. You quit?"

"It's 'door' Maura. And no I didn't quit, I excused myself from this case."

"But, why?"

"I thought it would be most obvious to you of anyone. You faked destroying evidence to make it look like an accident to get me back. It has to look like an accident." Jane's voice is squeaky with aggravation

"I wasn't told to make it look like an accident"

"You weren't?"

"No Jane. Were you?"

"Well," Jane rubs her face, dropping her tone even lower, "Yes. I have to _keep_ it an accident. And the only way to do that right now is to not be involved. Cause I won't lie about what I know. I can't purger myself on the stand if it goes to trial. And mainly because you and I could be in danger."

Maura watches Jane as her eyes dilate and her pulse quickens. She can tell it is upsetting her so she moves on quickly, "I was told to destroy the evidence so his death will continue to look like an accident. But that note wasn't the only thing suspicious about his death. It was the strongest piece mind you."

"If they find out you didn't destroy it..." She whimpers at the thought of what they might do to Maura

"They won't know and they can't do anything Jane. Even IF they could hurt me the note would still be out there."

Jane stand so abruptly her chair falls backwards on the tiles causing her to cringe, she turns to face Maura directly and leans close to her. She is angry, not at Maura, but she uses the anger to make a point, "NO Maura, No. They _can_ make it disappear if they wanted. They made me disappear didn't they. There's no way you would have found me unless they let me go, they could do the same to you, to Korsak, to the whole damn BPD if they felt like it. We are not safe and this investigation has to end. You don't know them, you don't know who they are, what they can do, what they...have...done. We have to do what they want. And yes I'm aware I sound paranoid but I don't care...we have to destroy that note." she growls.

Maura taken aback at the outburst can only whisper horrified, "You can't"

"Well, _you_ won't" Jane spits angrily

Maura's eyes become wet and she furiously shakes her arms trying to calm herself down

Jane's face softens, she should have known that anger wouldn't work, so she tries another approach, "Please Maura, please for me. I can't loose you. I..." a few tears fall down her own face, "I- I love you." she whispers softly

Maura wipes the tears from her own face with the back of her sleeve and reaches over to wipe away Jane's and then she places both hands on either side of Jane's face, "I can't destroy it. I don't care about me, but it protects _you_ doesn't it, us having it, like leverage."

Jane shakes her head, "No, It doesn't protect me."

"We can't give into fear, Jane, It's not like you to give up, to walk away. You're a fighter, you've never backed down. You-you jump off bridges and shoot yourself, you don't do this...you don't let the bad guys win. It's not worth it Jane."

Her soft hopeful smile is met with dark eyes and a menacing features as Jane pulls away from her hands and stands staring at her friend in dismay

"Maura, You deserve to be safe, and I will do whatever it takes for that to happen. I'm not being crazy or paranoid here. They have already won...we didn't stand a chance before it even began. And I will do what I have to Maur'."

"Just explain it to me Jane, I don't understand." Maura cries out in bewilderment

"I don't know how to..." then Jane reaches out and strokes Maura's jawline, "I want to tell you but I don't know how. I just know how powerful they are."

Jane leans in for a kiss, a strong seductive needy kiss which carried more meaning than could be passed through words. A kiss that said hello and goodbye and everything in between.

Then Jane simply turned and walked out the front door.

* * *

 

Tuesday 7:20 am

Maura wasn't sure she would see Jane again for a few days at least, so she was completely surprised when Jane was suddenly standing behind her in her office at BPD right after she'd arrived. Jane looked like she hadn't changed since the day before, she looked tired, worn, and expressionless.

"Jane, you startled me" Maura said after the initial surprise had passed

Jane stepped closer keeping her staunch demeanor, it wasn't in a menacing way although to some perpetrators it would have been labelled as such. She was suddenly so close Maura subconsciously stepped backwards bumping into her desk.

Maura's heart began to race and she felt herself start to perspire as Jane was studying her almost like a bird might study it's prey. She had no idea what was happening, what was going through Jane's mind and it scared her a little. It was out of character both before and after the recent events.

"Give me the note." Jane breathed in a perfectly even, strong tone, without emotion

Maura blinked and frowned but didn't speak. After a pause Jane's eyes softened and she repeated the question "Please Maura, give me the note."

Maura scowls at her "No Jane, you know I can't"

"Where is it, Maura?"

Maura's eyes flick towards the top drawer of her desk before she realizes what she's done, Jane goes to move towards where she glanced so Maura moves to stand in front the drawer, her body blocking Jane, "No, please Jane."

"You know I will just come back later and take it."

Maura looked down briefly, it was something Jane would do and she was pained at the thought

"If you cared about me you'd give it to me." Jane looks forlorn as she looks at Maura's quivering lip.

"Don't manipulate me Jane."

Jane presses her body close to Maura, and leans her face close to Maura's, lips barely touching, teasing her. Maura looks into Jane's eyes searching, confused. Jane closes the distance lips meeting, not waiting for permission, and slides one hand into Maura's hair to increase the contact, her other hand slides down to Maura's chest, stroking her breast. Maura moans loudly giving Jane more access to her mouth, she slides her tongue in exploring. Maura places her hands on Jane's hips pulling her pelvis closer. Sloppy kisses and nibbling making it hard for Maura to think clearly anymore.

"Door" Maura breathes

"Locked" Jane replies quickly continuing her assault of kisses. She moves her hand down Maura's body to the hemline of her dress and slowly runs her fingers up her inner thigh pausing at the panty line and softly stroking with her thumb, growling softly.

"Wait Jane," Maura hums through her haze

"Why?" Jane whispers softly pulling Maura's lip gently with her teeth

Groaning Maura starts to pull away speaking firmly, "Wait..."

Jane pauses her administrations and pulls back "What's wrong?" she looks worried now

"Jane...don't, I mean if you are...please don't seduce me for this..this.. note. You'll only break my trust by using me. You'll get what you want but you will have hurt me." She struggles to get out clearly between the throbbing of her heart and between her legs as well as the tingling on her lips, " _If_ that's what you're doing..."

Jane sighs loudly, releasing her grip and moving her hands away. She knows Maura is right. "I'm sorry..." Jane whispers hanging her head for a moment the passion vanishing, then looks Maura in the eyes. The moment is tense and long.

"I want to explain to you but I can't.." Jane starts, "I don't fully understand myself...and without re-living it all and ending up a crying, unconsolable mess on your office floor." She drops her head forward in shame.

Maura leans her head forward so it rests against Jane's, "I wouldn't mind. I want to know, Jane. I need you and that includes everything that comes with you good and bad."

Jane moves to hold Maura's upper arms tenderly, rubbing her forearms with her thumbs, her voice crackles when she speaks, "There are invisible forces at play, Maura, unforeseen powers. I can't protect us from them, no-one can. But I've seen them now and I think the only thing keeping us safe is the fact that they think the note no longer exists. Why? I don't know yet. Why taking me and making me stop investigating helps them? I don't know either. I don't even think the note is that damning to anyone really. I don't know what they thought I found, or what they thought I knew...' she shudders for a moment, "If they can capture me driving home from work, yet leaving no evidence and I don't even remember it..." She bites her lip, "...what _else_ can they do Maur'. I don't even know who they are. And they are unstoppable _because_ they don't even exist."

"If they don't exist then what is there to be afraid of." Maura frowns

"You're the dumbest genius I know," Jane chuckles pecking an offended Maura on the cheek, "They exist, it's that they don't appear to, they have no names, only illusions to names."

"Allusions" Maura corrects

Jane smiles, "Yes. All those movies we watch about spooks and secret operatives and stuff. Groups with no identities, like shadow organisations, probably linked to the government. The are high up Maur', and they seem to get what they want and get away with whatever. I can't explain more than that right now. But I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"

Maura's starts to cry a little finally understanding what Jane has been trying to tell her

" _We_ aren't safe from _them_ , _we_ have to walk away. _We_ cannot fight this...EVER." Jane says it with such finality and such sadness that Maura has to look at her face to know she really means it. Jane looks at her sternly, yet with care and gentleness.

Maura finally nods and pulls away from Jane, walking to her drawer and unlocking it. She pulls out the unlabelled plastic bag with the note inside and stares at it in her hands.

"You won't get in trouble for this Maura. I will." Jane reassures her softly, patiently.

"Why do they want it gone?" Maura asks sadly, confused

Jane shrugs, "They want it to go away, the whole thing."

"You must have a theory at least."

Jane looks from her down to the note still in her hands and back to Maura, "Too many to count" she whispers in a choked voice, "But it doesn't matter."

Maura holds out the note for Jane to take, instead Jane takes both her hands and squeezes them, "Thank you Maura." She leans in and gives her a long soft kiss before pulling away, then takes the note and walks towards the door.

Maura hugs herself as she watches Jane unlock the door

"When will I see you again Jane?"

"Soon" she replies before a last look over her shoulder, then she was gone...again...

Maura would later look back on the way Jane leaves her so suddenly, and would realise this was a new trademark of her friend. It would become such a common occurrence she would accept it as being normal.

* * *

Korsak tried to proceed with the case despite Jane's warning. Despite that Jane quit and then got suspended on account of the evidence she took. Jane gave no statement of the 4 days she was gone. Jane didn't return to BPD after taking the note. Cavanaugh somehow got any charges against Jane dismissed. Korsak hit brick wall after brick wall. All the students lawyered up with one big lawyer working to get all the boys tried as minors together and advised the D.A. that the students claimed coercion tactics were used to gain their existing testimonies, despite that they were recorded and followed protocol. Korsak couldn't re-interview the boys himself, and the new interrogator substitute was useless. The case was either going around in circles or backwards. Without the note, all the usable evidence was that they had drugs which carried only a small amount of weight but no direct link to Hamish, and the testimony of Jared which wasn't much on his own and he would be destroyed on the stand, he would just be considered a hazed unhappy kid.

Eventually Cavanagh had no choice but to leave the school to investigate the hazing practices themselves. He did say to Korsak in passing one time that he 'expected the case to go cold' and it wasn't Korsaks fault, it had just been 'inevitable'.

The case was eventually thrown out of court based on lack of evidence and witness testimonies although the judge did seem a tad bias towards the young men and it now sat on Korsaks desk labelled a cold case until new witnesses or evidence came to him. Cavanagh allowed Korsak to keep it on his desk instead of it going into a cardboard box and put downstairs in the archive room.

It was the only case Jane ever worked on that was still unsolved, had she been at work this might have bothered her, but she wasn't there anymore. Korsak was assigned a new partner two weeks later and Korsak had to move onto new cases and keep his chin up, two similar cases both without justice, and his partner and friend in a sense missing, gone, barely contactable, lost somehow, he hoped she would get through it and not have it torment her like it did him, he wasn't mad at Jane, he understood, he was merely and understandably frustrated.

* * *

 

Roy Hamish Jones the third's funeral was on the Thursday, Jane and Maura went together and stood on the outskirts of the crowd. Hamish's sister cried uncontrollably near his tombstone, her father holding her tightly. A stoic man but the emotion showing through the cracks, he was hurting, he felt guilty. The priest said very little about the young unsung hero that had his life cut short and Jane felt the guilt in her stomach that he wasn't being publicly praised for his valiant efforts. Had the case continued to be investigated with all the evidence, these people would probably know why Hamish died, it might even have put an end to the ill treatments of students during rushing, exposed the cracks in the responsibilities of schools to their students, got the media involved and questioning the practices, but No, thanks to her the note was destroyed, she had single-handedly destroyed the truth, caused the boy to be just another accident victim. Maura had been right, it wasn't worth it. But she would now have to live with this the rest of her life.

_Evil prevails when good men do nothing_

She turned away from the grave letting tears run down her face.

Maura quietly read the inscription, " _A son, A brother, and a friend. Isaiah 57:1_." she paused, "Interesting, why that scripture."

Although Maura was speaking to herself Jane answered with a shaky voice, "Because I asked them too. Come on, let's go Maur."

 

_The righteous perish,_

_and no one takes it to heart;_

_the devout are taken away,_

_and no one understands_

_that the righteous are taken away_

_to be spared from evil._

* * *

 

...to be continued...

 


	22. Before Dawn

Chapter 22 - Before dawn

* * *

  _The righteous perish,_  
 _and no one takes it to heart;_  
 _the devout are taken away,_  
 _and no one understands_  
 _that the righteous are taken away_  
 _to be spared from evil._

_-Isaiah 57:1_

* * *

They have a few drinks at the robber on the way home to Maura's after the funeral, hoping to maybe ease the pain a little. Jane drinks more than her fair share but everyone enjoys her company, seeing her relaxed, almost like nothing happened, on the outside at least. By the time they leave neither are in any state to drive so Maura calls a cab.

They finally tumble out of the Taxi at the destination, Maura giggling at Jane's un-modest behaviour on the short ride over, she had been rather 'handsie'. They make their way to the front door.

Stepping inside Maura starts to take off Jane's coat running her hand innocently across Jane's neck. Jane feels tingles run down her spine and steps towards Maura pressing her body flush, taking Maura's lips in her own. Jane's hands instantly start to search for a way below Maura's clothing, running up and down her sides and across her stomach and waist. Maura moans at the sensations. Jane pauses.

Maura looks up, "Are you ok, honey?"

Jane swallows, "Yeah, I don't know, maybe." she frowns at her own confusion

Maura smiles at her, "Stop worrying Jane. We were together for only a few days before...before you vanished, and not really much after. I don't expect things to be the way they were or might have been. I think I'd be worried if they were. I do love you though, and as much as I want you...I need you to be ok with it. Because you _want_ to, no other agenda. I'll be ok if nothing happens tonight."

Jane relaxed and smiled slightly, suddenly feeling very sober.

"I wish I hadn't stopped us that night, I wish I'd just let you take me, before...you know," Maura whispered keeping her eyes on Jane's, "I just thought we had more time".

Jane's eyes move between Maura's eyes studying her carefully.

"Before I chickened out?" Jane questions

"No, before you started shutting me out, before things changed, before I lost you."

Jane looks down, things _are_ different.

"You didn't loose me Maur', I'm just a little lost right now. It's a cliche line, but...it's not you...it's me."

Maura tries to smile and fails, "I know Jane."

"It's just...there is no justice", Jane groans frustrated, "I don't know whether to be sad or angry. The world is just so messed up. Starving children, war, homeless, victims treated badly and criminals set free. But without a working justice system who do you go to when you're fighting it...do you go to them, the courts? To the masons that run the courts? How do you fight it?"

Maura gently rubs Jane's arm trying to soothe her. She doesn't know what to say, she isn't entirely sure what Jane is rambling about, she has no response to give, no answer, they have both seen criminals get released, evidence be minimised or dismissed by district attorney's, seen their hard work in solving a case undone in the high courts with bias judges and confused jurors. There was no answer she could give to help Jane feel better.

Jane scowls her face up and clenched her fists to fight against the outburst looming inside her. She thinks about her breathing carefully and focuses on Maura's soothing touch to stay calm

"I just...it's just... " She squeezes the bridge of her nose

"You can only do what you can Jane," Maura says softly, "We do our job, we do our best. And just hope others try to do their best too."

"There must me more." Jane stands up pacing slowly, "There has to be more. _They_ won't do their best... _they_ don't care about us only about themselves and their cause and _they_ aren't good..."

Maura stands and puts her hands on Jane's arms stopping her, she needs her to calm down. She strokes the length of Jane's arms stopping just over her bandaged wrists. Jane doesn't actually need the bandages anymore but is insistent to keep them. Maybe as a reminder or maybe to hide the skin discoloration below them and the memories that come with them. There is so much in Jane's life that has been unjust, like Hoyt, her burned down apartment, every scar on her fragile body, every kidnapping that has scarred her spirit, changed her just a little, she stares at beautiful soft twinkling brown eyes that have experienced a world of pain and injustice and wears the scars mostly on the inside. And her own life, parents that all but abandoned her, friends that used her. Everyone wears scars and bruises, there's often no-one to blame, sometimes it's just the hand life deals you. Sometime life is just not fair.

"We won't be victims... " She stops, and instead of saying something encouraging Maura just sobs loudly leaning her forehead onto Jane's chest. "I'm sorry Jane, I'm sorry," she whimpers.

Jane holds her tightly feeling a pang of guilt that her combination of hurt and anger has affected her usually composed best friend. She is confused, holding Maura who is sobbing softly in her arms. She is at a crossroads which she has been battling all week.

One path is to walk away and carry on with life, pretend it's all ok, bottle up the anger and continue forward with her head for the better part in the sand...for Maura's sake. And hope she doesn't lash out at someone who deserves it.

Or the other path...Vent this anger at the people who deserve it whoever that is, or someone else that deserves it...and possibly hurt Maura.

She squeezes Maura tightly, it's a decision she can't make right now. She kisses Maura's temple softly and caresses her cheek until the sobbing stops completely.

"I'm the sorry one Maur. You don't need to be sorry."

Maura lifts her gaze slowly meeting Jane's, Jane smiles at her

"I want you Jane...I need you. I'm ready."

Jane's smile stays frozen while her brain turns.

Maybe it was the anger within her or the sadness in Maura's eyes, while she doesn't completely regret it, it is possible she made love with Maura for the wrong reasons that night. Guilt or the fear of loosing Maura, the possibility of never seeing her again. For whatever reason, Jane gives her everything to Maura. Anything Maura asks for. It is raw and passionate sex, beautifully vulnerable, passionate, yet gentle.

Until exhaustion forces them both to sleep warm in each others arms...safe.

_Your Maura, She does deserve to be safe_

And after Jane wakes up a few hours later, she lays on her back with Maura curled up beside her, a blond head on her stomach. She stares at the ceiling, she had to question if her happiness was more important than truth and justice. Had she made a mistake walking away, submitting to evil? To protect herself and Maura had she allowed evil to prevail? Did it make a difference?

She had betrayed herself, her code, the cop code, everything she had once believed in. Truth, honour, Justice for the strong and the weak.

She couldn't go backwards, she couldn't go forward either, she desperately needed air.

She carefully got up to not disturb Maura and put on some clothes, wandering into the backyard, bare feet enjoying the wet dew on the grass. She stared up at the sky, stars twinkling above her bright and pure. Her breath was a white puff and it lingered in the air. She wrapped her arms around herself.

"I don't want to loose you Maura" her whisper carried into the silence.

Unsure how long she stood there lost in her thoughts, it was the light of dawn that finally caught her attention.

* * *

Maura wakes to the sweet scent of Jane wafting from the sheets beside her

"Jane" she smiles sitting up. Looking around the room, it's empty. She puts on a dressing gown and wanders her house looking for Jane, but Jane is gone.

Today's newspaper was folded nicely on Maura's breakfast counter when she went downstairs. She unfolded it slowly and read the front page.

"BOSTON DAILY NEWS - HEADLINE - Four Boston College students were charged with hazing this week in connection with the possible suicide of Roy Hamish Jones the Third. The four students already have name suppression. There is a good possibility that the lawyers representing the four members of now revoked charter, 'Phi Kappa Beta', will seek to have the charges reduced from a first-degree to a second-degree misdemeanor. That would carry a fine of a few hundred dollars. It is equivalent to pleading guilty to disturbing the peace. The four would have no criminal record. Boston College officials have withdrawn recognition of the Fraternity chapter. Effective immediately, the fraternity, must cease all activity on the Boston College campus and any possibility of reinstating the chapter can be decided no earlier than April 2021. The investigation, conducted by the Dean of Students Office, found that chapter members engaged in hazing and conspired to not cooperate with University officials and University police. The violations occurred while the chapter was under probation. "The probation period was their opportunity to remedy the situation and they did not take it. The withdrawal of recognition is the most serious punishment any college can enact on a student organization" he said yesterday. The College principle resigned yesterday but indicated his leaving was for personal reasons and not related to the incident around Phi Kappa Beta."

Jane had written in red text at the top of the page 'I hate this'. She hated it too, everything to do with the case angered or hurt her. The biggest hurt was the loss of Jane.

* * *

...to be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a shorter chapter...next one way longer...didn't want to split it in a weird place :)  
> I have become very angsty over this story, over how it will turn out.


	23. Fridays

Chapter 23 - Fridays

* * *

_The biggest hurt was the loss of Jane._

After the funeral Maura saw Jane less and less. No one else saw Jane for weeks. She was barely ever home. The neighbours thought Jane had moved out but her belongings were still in the apartment. Frankie had given up searching for her. Angela got a call every few days from Jane and was luckily quite convinced nothing was out of the ordinary. Korsak had given Maura a basic understanding of torture and that it is designed to mess with someone psychologically not physically.

She had adamantly argued that Jane was strong, probably the strongest person she knew, that nothing could affect her like what Korsak was saying. She read studies on torture and PTSD, she knew deep down Korsak was probably right but she couldn't will herself to accept that Jane wouldn't be ok.

' _She just needs time_ ', she had defended, ' _she will be back to herself soon, she was only gone four days...not years_ '. But although Jane was still Jane, she couldn't deny things had dramatically changed for them all.

But despite everything else, Jane was at Maura's on a Friday night, every Friday without fail, their movie night, even in the pouring rain under an umbrella looking like she had been hunted by a pack of wolves.

They didn't talk about this arrangement, about much of anything serious really.

Movie night usually started with a knock at the door, a quick assessment of Jane's bumps and bruises from whatever unspoken activities she engaged in these-days, Maura had learnt not to ask, so she would patch up her friend in silence. Then dinner and wine or beer, a chat about family, work or a small-talk topic.

The first 15 minutes of the movie viewed in silence, then unless it was a super-interesting-non-documentary-type program, it was interrupted by a passionate make-out session, where 6 days of separation was made up for. Often before the credits began to roll, Jane would take Maura's hand and lead her up to Maura's bed. Sometimes they would just cuddle and kiss in the darkness, often salty tears could be tasted in their kiss, they were Jane's, but she never said anything. Sometimes the passion would take over completely, the desire and need was always strong. Sometimes it seemed like an escape from reality but Maura never felt used, she needed Jane in any capacity she was allowed to have her and she accepted it, as painful as it was at times. Maybe she was deluding herself that passion and intimacy somehow helped Jane, that it might save Jane, bring Jane back to her whole and unbroken self.

Maura once asked how Jane supported herself now. The reply was a shrug and a smile.

"If you ever need anything, Jane. ANYTHING. Please ask me or if you can, please just take it. I don't ever want to think you are hungry or tired or walking the streets, unable to pay bills, missing out on the basic needs and wants, a home. Promise me Jane, promise me you won't suffer if you don't have too."

"Can I borrow your car?"

"Of course"

"Drink all your beer?"

Maura chuckles, "You know the answer is yes although it isn't really a need."

"What? Beer is most definitely a need. Hmmm, Do I get pocket money too?" they both laughed, lightning the gravity of the situation.

"Korsak asks after you" Maura hinted the need to convey something from her to him.

Jane nodded and took a sip of beer, "Tell him I am doing much better" she smiled gingerly at Maura

"Are you? Doing better?"

Jane leans in giving Maura a quick sloppy kiss

"I am now" she grins before deepening the kiss

It was these conversations where Jane seemed like her old self, like things hadn't changed. And these conversations only happened over food...because the rest of the time was otherwise occupied.

* * *

"Do you what to know what i'm thinking?" Maura finally asks after several moments of silence, her meal finally finished, excited to now share her news with Jane.

Jane grins raising an eyebrow, "Is it weird that I do?"

"I am thinking how much you are going to owe me in a minute." Maura chuckles

Jane's face falls, "I don't think I want to know anymore."

Maura laughs nudging Jane with her shoulder causing a smile

"Careful honey, you fall off that chair and I am going to know you're thinking your butt really hurts."

Maura kisses Jane's cheek and then in a low voice like she is telling a secret she whispers, "I spoke to my friend who happens to be a Judge working with first time offenders and underage misdemeanours." her eyes twinkle with a mysterious smile, "He is a little controversial in his punishments, he sometimes makes offenders wear a sandwich board in public with their crimes written on it." Jane watches as her face becoming alive with excitement, "I told him about John Howell and the situation with his family, with his mother and sister, the drug dealing. You remember John?"

"Of course" Jane laughs thinking back to the interview that now felt like years ago, John, a broken boy caught in the consequences of doing something illegal to try to help his family. It had broken her heart.

Maura has Jane's full attention and she loves the sparkle of hope she see's in Jane's eyes.

"This Judge has agreed to take John's case on and has already made arrangements to have it transferred to his courtroom. He is a wonderfully kind man and will do his best to help John make a fresh start but also to amend his actions and pay back society." Jane has a glowing smile across her face, she couldn't be more in awe of the compassion Maura displays and the way she uses her connections to help others. That she had taken the time to do this without being asked.

Maura continues, "I also spoke to a youth worker in his area who helps families in hard circumstances. The organisation believes in keeping families together. They teach budgeting and other helpful skills. They have agreed to look into the situation also, to offer help and support, so hopefully that wee girl is not taken from her home, her family." Maura holds her finger up to indicate there is more, Jane chews on her bottom lip in excitement and impatience.

"It was suggested that part of John's community service could be caring for his sister and other children her age in a child and youth daycare centre nearby. So John will spend more time with her as well as help his mother have more free time to work."

"A miracle." Jane smiles a tear of joy escaping and her throat constricting with emotion. She pulls Maura into a huge hug, waiting for the emotions to pass she finally whispers, "You're absolutely amazing Maur" and kisses her cheek squeezing tightly.

"You are welcome Jane."

* * *

At the knock at the door, Maura's heart skips a beat, Fridays can never come soon enough, but opening the door reveals Jane looking a little more 'worse for wear' than usual.

"Are you ok?"

Jane steps through the doorway with a grunt, "Yeah"

Maura frowns at her "You don't look ok?"

She leans forwards and brushes Jane's lips with her thumb, Jane hisses at the pain to her swollen lip

"It's going to be sad not kissing you tonight, Jane"

Jane scoffs, "Yeah right, like that's the only place you can kiss me"

"It's my favourite place though, and how will you kiss me in return?"

Jane looks deeply into Maura's eyes a half smile growing on her face, "The pain will be worth it. But I'm a little more worried about my rib"

"Jane" Maura sighs horrified, "What happened?"

"You should see the other guy." She jokes lifting her top to reveal a rather sinister looking bruise across her toned abs and ribcage

Maura pokes around the bruise gently ignoring Jane's pained complaints, "When did this happen?"

"Um...last night I guess" she shrugs trying to downplay it

"Does it hurt to breathe in"

"nuh-uh"

"What did this?"

Jane laughs, "It could have been a Baseball bat, no longer my favourite past-time sport"

"Who?"

Jane leans in brushing her lips against Maura's and ignoring the pain, "Am I gonna to be ok doc?"

Maura leans away from the kiss to get a good look at Jane, "Yes you'll be fine, hematoma of tissue, I would need an x-ray to determine if any fractures were present, But they would heal on their own anyway. You will be sore for sometime though. Are you going to tell me who did this?"

Jane's face falls, the joy gone for a long moment, "No Maur, not yet. I hurt a little, can I get a hug?" she sticks out her sore lip in a pout and tilts her head to the side questioning.

 

...to be continued...


	24. Finding Help

Chapter 24 - Finding help

* * *

 

After Jane had walked out of her office that day with the note and become so distant and lost and refusing to communicate, Maura had finally hired a private detective to follow Jane. Her heart had felt like it was bleeding from the secrets and pain her friend carried secretly, both physically and emotionally.

It was eleven weeks after Jane had returned. Nine weeks of Maura only seeing Jane on a Friday night. Seven weeks of occasional broken noses, dislocated shoulders, bruises, scrapes, broken fingers, bruised knuckles, cut knees and hands. A little over half were defensive in nature, leaving the other half to be aggressive in nature. Sure it was consistent, but unless her friend had joined fight club it was far from explainable. It had been eight weeks since the Judge had thrown the case out. Six weeks of Korsak unwillingly working with a new young partner who was so unlike Jane that the poor guy was not liked almost instantly, and the more he tried to be nice and be liked the worse it got for him. And It had been four weeks of a private investigator, Dan Simmons, following Jane before, only a few days after the baseball bat incident, Dan had taken Maura aside and told her that Jane had become reckless and a danger to herself.

"What on earth are you implying Mr. Simmons?"

"Call me Dan, please. I am saying that Det. Rizzoli has been running around with a gun threatening people for, I think information, well I should say driving around. Driving like a bat out of hell. I am honestly afraid for my life just following her. I thought she knew she was being tailed but eventually realized she just drives recklessly. She is quick and did lose me a few times before I figured out what alerts her. I've witnessed one occasion of her becoming physical and almost getting beaten up."

Maura well aware of Jane's physical scrapes had hypothesized there was a sinister element, "Threatening people?"

Dan nodded slowly

"What people?"

"A variety of people, a few younger boys, and a few male adults, and one lady."

"What information is she after?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I did get close enough as few times to overhear. One time she was questioning some suit about the CIA another time about freemasons, and also deep state and other things I'm not sure I understand."

"Suit? deep state?"

Dan nods, "They wear suits. I did research deep state, it's otherwise known as the shadow government, second government or hidden-hand, it is an intensely secretive, informal, fluid network of deep politicians who conspire to amplify their influence over national governments through a variety of deep state milieux."

Maura frowns "She did mention secret government organizations, and unstoppable nonexistent entities."

Dan looks Maura up and down for a moment his mind questioning, doubt playing across his face. "Look, I don't want to get in the middle of something, ya know. I've got kids and a wife."

Maura's mouth drops open confused, "I don't understand"

Dan looks around the dirty robber suspiciously, debating on if this could be some kind of setup, this woman in front of him wearing a high end blouse with a brown designer jacket and black pants seem's unthreatening and genuine in her engagement of his services.

Dan, finally convinced, mostly by the confusion Maura displays, pulls a bundle of photo's out of his briefcase and hands them to her.

Maura studies the top photo intently. The photo is a mid shot of Jane, zoomed from a distance so the edges are a little fuzzy. But it's her Jane looking fierce and determined, eyes clear and focused, mouth tightly closed, no hint of a smile. Her hair is tied back in a determined ponytail and she is dressed for espionage...or skiing.

It was her first time seeing Jane other than on Fridays, a glimpse at her secret life, like an estranged family member she is seeing for the first time. This Jane is nothing like the Jane that visits her house on a Friday or sneaks in during the week to shower and eat, thinking Maura isn't home. This Jane looks alone, tense, her walls are up and there are no smiles, or dimples, or softness.

Maura takes in a sharp breath.

The first set of photo's are Jane in all black including a balaclava folded to appear like a beanie. She's in a concrete underground carpark, In one she is almost facing the camera, and talking to a man in a suit, his face is in the shadows and she cannot make out any features from this angle, he is profile to the camera.

Maura looks up from the photo at Dan who can tell she is upset but can do nothing about it. He clears his throat to speak.

"I'm sorry Dr. Isles. I did overhear some conversations and got bits recorded. But they are a little crptic and bits missing as cars went past or boat horns blocked out the sound. Let me play it..."

* * *

 

_GROUP CHAT - CONSPIRASIEZ_

_..._

_(You have joined the chat as guest 8)_

_Guest 8 : Can I talk here? get help about stuff?_  
DVO : YEAH NO.8 YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING HERE  
Harold : stop screaming dave we can all hear you  
AMAND4 : weird stuff happens in my house sometimes like my phone rings and no one is there, i talk about that and no one listens  
DVO : thats because we have already told you what to do but you don't listen. it is an emp attack and you should move away  
AMAND4 : yeah whatever  
Guest 8 : I was grabbed an interrogated and told to make something look like something else. I want to know if it was the CIA  
DVO : seriously 8?  
Guest 8 : seriously  
1nC0gn1t0: Are you at home guest 8?  
Guest 8 : What kind of question is that?  
1nC0gn1t0 : It's about your security. If you are home or at an address of someone you know then leave now, go to a public library, log in again as a guest and type in only the name of a pet you have or once had. I will find you.  
(guest 8 has left the chat)

When she had logged on again 30 minutes later at the local library, the previous chat had vanished completely

_(You have joined the chat as guest 12)_

_Guest 12 : Joe Friday_  
1nC0gn1t0: Thats not a pet name  
Guest 12 : I didn't name her  
1nC0gn1t0: I'm sending you a link to a secure private group click it and we can talk  
DVO: Dude can the rest of us come?  
1nC0gn1t0: No...

Jane was meeting him late that night, he used to work as a double spy for a high level intelligence agency, now he couldn't tell anyone where he worked including his own mother. He had been the most helpful but never spoke over the phone, so all Jane could do was hold her questions to her heart and wait until the opportunity to meet. She had done a heap of research online but most of this stuff was so new to her and there was a lot of disinformation and a lot was just not available.

"Nothing like getting it from the horses mouth" she mumbled to herself arriving back at her apartment to get changed after a 5km de-stressing run. She had taken to calling him just John because he had given her no identity, he was her personal John Doe.

_1nC0gn1t0 : Ethics and oversight are what is eliminated when someone wants absolute power. People grant the power to the government and government uses that power to control people._

_Joe Friday : Aren't you one of them?_

_1nC0gn1t0 : I'm a guy who wants to see people free, I don't want power. Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men._

_Joe Friday: I don't feel safe anymore. I don't know if they're out there, if they are after me or my friends. I can't work, can't think straight anymore. I used to be funny, now everything worries me, I lash out at those that care about me and I hurt the people I love. I want to be free again. But the more I try to figure out what happened to me the scarier it gets...the bigger it gets. I'm so tired of being afraid of them coming to grab me again. Not knowing what they want and why. Not being able to do my job. And now i'm trusting you and I don't even know you, but I don't have anyone else_

At this point she was sobbing, luckily she didn't have to hide her fustrations over the internet. Although she wondered if he had accessed the library webcam to see her.

_1nC0gn1t0 : With what you've been through i'm not surprised you are skeptical. You're brave to even be online. Most that go through this type of thing isolate themselves physically and emotionally. I will look into some stuff and see what I can find. I only want to know your end game_

_Joe Friday : I want to stop being afraid. I want to stop checking over my shoulder. I want to stop worrying about my friends. I want them to pay for making me afraid and stop them ever coming after me again._

_1nC0gn1t0 : I like your answer, I just hope you know the risks. I can search a program called Echelon, it is top secret five eyes database archive which monitors and surveys all communications. I can also try to figure out which agency it was that had interest in you. All I need is your name. If you feel safe to give me that then I will do what I can. I can at least see if they are still watching you or not. Also, what was the something whey wanted to look like something else?_

Now here she was finally meeting him in person.

His rules were simple. Come alone, don't get followed, don't tell anyone about it, don't bring a phone, gps or any tracking or digital devices.

_I won't have a weapon but I won't stop you bringing one if you feel safer with it._

She quickly dressed into some extra warm black clothes and grabbed her keys and a non-police issue gun and stuck it in her holster, a spare on her ankle and headed for the door.

_That car_ she thought noticing the same grey Toyota hatchback parked about eight cars away from her own that she was sure she had seen somewhere else recently, a few times in fact. No one appeared to be in the Toyota so she got in her own car and drove to the meeting point, checking every few streets that she was alone.

* * *

 

"Hey Joe Friday", a soft male voice broke out of the dark directing Jane to his location

Jane grunts, she hates the nickname, she misses her dog "John Doe"

"Were you followed?"

"I was careful"

He appears harmless and she can finally take her hand off her holster. John Doe wears a monkey suit very similar to the FBI. Maybe it's a little more classy more tailored, Maura would have known. He smiles at her but his eye's are serious and his stance slightly defensive.

"Good, so after our last chat I did look into your name using contacts at three agencies, unfortunately so far it was a dead end, but it's not all lost, I just need more time. Sometimes things are intentionally buried and sometimes they are redacted, but nothing is hidden forever."

Jane nods, she can feel him watching her, studying her, he wants to help but she isn't sure how much she should tell him, but although he possibly worked for an agency that was her enemy; he seemed to have his own agenda for working there.

"What do you remember?"

Jane sighs, "I was interogated in one room, lived in another. Small bunkers, no windows. No food, no bed. Threats that they seemed to know would work. Face covered whenever they moved me. Soldiers I think but I never saw them. Just the one lady who looked governmental type of doctor I guess, played psychological tricks on me. Would love to get my hads on her now. They knew exactly what they were doing like they did it every day. I was told I was missing four days"

"What type of torture?"

"Psychological... waterboarding, isolation, deprivation of basic needs." Jane swallowed heavily, it was the first time she had spoken out loud of exactly what happened to her.

"While waterboarding was characterized by former CIA as a professional interrogation technique. They consider it lawful today despite that for years they claimed it was ill-effective. And considering the manner in which you were likely taken and returned I will start there and work upwards. I will help you, you know that" he smiled softly at her.

Jane stiffened, did she know that, could she know that. Or would he tell them she wanted revenge, would they take Maura to control her, to hurt her.

"Yeah thanks." she tries to play it casual

"If they don't want anything else from you then you're probably ok. You can still walk away."

Jane hands him the newspaper clipping with the outcome of the case, "I can't live with the guilt" she whispers, her voice choked up with emotion, "That boy died at their hands and I let them get away with it."

"Let them? You sound like you had some control in the matter."

"Well no, I mean yeah, I made the choice to do what they wanted."

"If you had not... what do you think they might have done?"

It's a rhetorical question and the answer is glaringly obvious

"You did what was right at the time"

John Doe takes the clipping skimming the article and slides it in his pocket.

"I will see what the links are to those boys. Likely one is a kid of some powerful elite or directly to the CIA if it is them. Before it was the CIA, it was the OSS, which was started by skull and bones. It was made up of lots of Yalies, lots of bankers kids, who enjoyed pranks. Now they are growed up and pranking our economy and most are very wealthy and privy to insider information. It's a club, a secret society that do what they want and protect themselves in the process."

Jane gasps at his last sentence and her mouth drops open, "He said that to me, I remember now, I had forgotten."

"What did he say?"

"It's a big club...and you aren't in it." her hands start to shake as she remembers his unkind bitter voice, she tries to still them but can't so she shoves them forcefully in her pockets.

"Every CIA director was either Skull and Bones or Jesuit trained. Lifelong clubs for the children of economic elites of the kind of gangster narco-terrorist Capitalism and Neofascist, anti-Communism which the CIA typifies. Ultimately the CIA are just another group of organized gangster Capitalists and drugs dealers, apart from the fact that they seem to be 'above the law' and can engage in terrorism, assassinations and narcotics trafficking with almost total impunity. The cover story is they are a defense outfit saving America, and at the bottom of the food chain a few do that, but at the top its a corrupt secret society of the oligarchy. The CIA is probably human history's most genocidal and destructive military organisation with narcotics trafficking, overt and covert warfare, assassinations, military coups and false flag black military operations."

"How deep does it go?"

He sighs, "How long is a piece of string"

"Well it'll be a damn sight shorter when I attack it with scissors" she growls

John Doe has a chuckle at this, "Sure."

He smiles sadly at Jane, soon she will really understand the enormity of it. "Intelligence and military agencies are heavily involved in the shadow government like the CIA, NSA, FBI, NRO and a whole host of Pentagon and other government agencies. They have strong ties to organized crime, Criminal syndicates and operatives and drug and sex trafficking. The Trilateral Commission, was created because the already established organizations, like the UN, were too slow in establishing a World Government. The members are all of the Elite, coming from different branches of Freemasonry world-wide to give the Bilderbergers a broader political basis. The Trilateral Commission controls through the CFR members the whole U.S. economy, politics, military, oil, energy and media lobbies. The members are chairmen of different companies, bankers, real estate agents, economists, scientists, lawyers, publishers, politicians, union leaders, presidents of Foundations and newspaper columnists."

He pauses to catch his breath, "9/11 was an inside job, covered up and turned into a false flag operation. 15 of the 9/11 supposed 'hijackers' were CIA agents employed by the U.S. government. 9/11 was used to fundamentally alter the nature of the US government and its relationship to the American people. Unaccountable executive power has replaced due process and the checks and balances established by the US Constitution. The CIA has positioned itself to be a higher authority than Congress, the President, or We the People and can act in secrecy in all of its affairs. The other aspect is World trade building 7 which was pulled even though it was relatively unscathed happened to house a lot of secret documents belonging to the CIA over pending lawsuits. After the building collapsed the evidence was gone. Notice the news channel reported the building had collapsed despite it being upright behind the reporter in the shot? Its was planned to come down but the report was read early."

"Instead of getting answers, if feel like I'm just getting more questions." She runs her hand through her hair and leans back heavily against the concrete pillar of the structure.

"That will happen. But don't give up already. You will have to process this. It will feel overwhelming at times. It's like an episode of fringe or the twilight zone. It will go against you beliefs already without the anger and grief when you truly understand how much the human race are slaves to the powerful and rich. Then maybe depression and despair. Then the anger sad cycle really kicks into gear. Important points are when you are searching a topic don't do it in your house or a friends house because if you want revenge you want the element of surprise. Use a burner phone that is not a smart phone and have off when not in use. And take it slow."

"Why are you helping me?"

"It's your life on the line the moment you asked the first question. Your risk. I can't help you with that and I can't help with the action you will take. I think you deserve a slightly fairer fight really and I've got no love for the system, for the cabal and the new world order. Don't expect justice because the system isn't designed to be just, it's designed to protect the corporations and the elite. It's designed to hinder the many to help the few...But the many can fight back. And it's possible that you might just lead a revolution."

Jane laughs at this, she does trust him though "Where do I start?"

"The trail of breadcrumbs... Follow the money..."

"The love of money...the root of evil"

"Exactly. It's always been that way. You won't be able to out-smart them, or out-fight them, or even come close to buying them off. But they do fear exposure and especially anarchy."

"So you're saying piss them off"

"Not really", he laughs heartily, "I'm saying don't play their game cause you won't win...play your own game"

* * *

_Behind the ostensible government sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the people. To destroy this invisible government, to befoul the unholy alliance between corrupt business and corrupt politics is the first task of the statesmanship of the day." - Theodore Roosevelt, 1913_

* * *

_...to be continued..._

 


	25. Training

CHAPTER 25 - Training

* * *

 

Maura drops the photos of Jane in the carpark on the table in front of Dan to look at the next ones.

Another set of eight sequential pictures that looks to be near a large sewer pipe with water running out into a concrete run-off. Jane is leaning against the bank wearing running gear, her white sneakers contrasting against everything else in the dark and this man also in a suit is standing in a massive storm-pipe. It could easily be the same man based on the build but she won't guess. She recognises the date, Jane had arrived afterwards but dressed differently only a few weeks back.

* * *

 

"Jane"

"mmhhmmmm" Jane rolls over slightly nestling her face into Maura's neck, her warm breath giving Maura goosebumps.

Maura runs her hand gently down Jane's face barely grazing the fresh red haemotoma on her mandible before placing a soft kiss on her forehead and watching her zygomatic major unconsciously contract in response, then gently peppering the side of her face in soft kisses. She loved it when Jane was still in bed in the morning, sleeping softly, peacefully. It was rare, and it was these moments she was most grateful for, her lover's warm body beside her, limbs wrapped around limbs, raven hair tickling her skin. Enjoying watching her sleeping, her chest rising and falling. At the same time she wanted to wake her just so she could say 'good morning' and watch the small indentations appear on her cheeks, her dimples, and her eyes twinkle in delight.

"Where do you go Jane?" Maura questions out loud into the universe. If only she had Jane to herself 24/7. Although no work would ever get done but she wouldn't care. She runs her thumb across Jane's lip and leans forward to graze her lips across Jane's before wrapping her arm around her body pulling her tighter.

"I miss you" she whispered sweetly in Jane's ear

* * *

 

_"Rizzoli, what are you doing? Focus"_

The voice comes a split second too late as a foot and leg connect with her jaw.

Jane groans loudly, landing mainly on her shoulder on the padded mat in the training room. She pulls herself slowly into sitting position cradling her arm, "Ahhhggg, just give me a minute." she groans loudly, pained.

"Do you really think in the middle of a fight that your assailant is going to say ' _sure ok, take five minutes...you know what...make that ten, would you like a cup of tea and a scone?'_ and let you recover?" Anna scolded in her impatient British accent, holding her arm out to indicate to Ralph the fight is temporarily on hold. Jane rolls her eyes.

Anna continues, "I am sure you're worse than usual today, what's on your mind Rizzoli?"

"Not important" She growls getting to her feet rotating her shoulder a few times to check it wasn't dislocated.

"Your mind and your body work as one, if your mind is somewhere else then your body might as well be also."

Jane takes out her mouthguard and sips out of her water bottle, "My mind and body just need to be ready."

Anna nods, and waves Ralph back over, "Then focus, you won't be the fighter you need to be if even Ralphy can knock you over so easily." She chuckles to herself well aware that Jane's greatest motivation is not loosing to someone she should be better than. It always worked when police training came around twice a year if she paired Jane with her brother Frankie. It was almost comical, Jane couldn't afford to loose to Frankie and still be equal with her male colleagues, and Frankie couldn't afford to be beaten by his sister...or a girl for that matter. If they were allowed to bet on training fights it could have drawn every police department in the state in for the show. For the department though, it was only fair to end it early so they could both walk away with their pride equally in tact. Korsak and Frost did bet, in secret, on who would get the most clean head shots in.

But these circumstances were slightly different. Jane had approached Anna, Anna who taught several types of fighting styles, to teach her how to defend herself against any type of attack. And later not to just defend herself but also to effectively attack, especially to use the fighting styles interchangeably to counter and gain the upper hand of another style, very much like street fighting. Anna had accepted the challenge without question, She cared about Jane like a sister she never had being an only child and would do anything for her friend.

They had progressed through some forms of martial arts attacks, some marine moves, a few special forces secrets, boxing which Jane was already skilled at. And now was pretty much whatever goes, no gloves, basic face protection only, and no weapons, full mixed martial arts and weapons would come later.

Jane hadn't expected Ralph to fight like a girl, cheap shots, hair pulling and a touch of biting but then anything goes. It did piss her off, catching her off guard at times, and her anger always distorted her perspective and gave him the upper hand. He had a mean left hook and was painfully flexible when his high kicks were at her shoulder height. She had realized quickly that bending forward did put her face in a perfect line with the heel of his foot. So her defense was a boxing stance, her hands a fence, and her attacks had to be in close proximity ones, thats if she could get close enough. Ralphy was a good fighter, really good, and he ignored every taunt Jane had thrown his way. He was better than the others she trained with, but the others also gave her a lot of different variety, helping her learn to quickly read the opponents style and react accordingly.

Ralph pulled his fists up, a smear of Jane's dried blood still across his knuckles, and he sparred with her gently getting into position again and Jane countered keeping him temporarily at arms length.

"Watch his shoulders Rizzoli, you'll see the muscle reaction a second before the action, keep your head bobbing so you can avoid it. And counter it aggressively not defensively or we'll be here all night."

Jane saw the flinch in his muscle and half ducked keeping her arms up to block.

"You're not being aggressive. Use his decisive actions to your advantage. You're taller, faster, don't let him wear you down."

"I'm trying" she moaned sheepishly getting ready again.

Ralph moved around her slowly jabbing her block forcing her to turn with him to keep him in her eye line. She saw a movement in his leg and swivelled on her right foot to throw her right fist at his head catching him squarely on the jaw and moving to her right just like she'd been taught.

"Good Rizzoli, very good"

Ralph shook his head to shake off the blow and re-focus. Jane took the opportunity to half step closer ready to tackle him.

"Don't favor one technique, one side, don't be predictable, one dimensional"

Keeping close she knows he can't use any high kicks, she hates them the most but her long arms make her strikes a little less powerful from this distance too.

"Don't forget to defend. Half and half. Defend and attack"

She keeps her arms up ready to protect her face swinging a few strikes but clearly not making sufficient contact

"Hit with power, your attacker might be 40 to 50 pounds over you. You don't want to wrestle."

Jane dodges a few strikes with Ralphys shorter arms, fists just grazing her hair gleaning off without doing damage

"Get grounded. Stability on your feet. Use your hips. Elbow and knee together, drive with your hip. Explosive tort."

Just as she is about to strike, Ralph suddenly ducks and she instinctively steps backwards to create distance from what might be a jump back kick like the last time, instead her legs were over her head and before she knows it she's on her back.

"That's enough Ralph, thank you." Anna sighed

Ralph reaches his arm out to help Jane to her feet before leaving.

"You anticipate too much, you respond before you know what's going to happen. If you were pre-emptive you wouldn't offer them the chance to surprise you. But...you're usually not this off your game. Are you angry or sad?"

"You don't know me as well as you think, Anna" Jane smiles jokingly while taking off the tape around her wrist and knuckles and sitting down beside Anna. "I am actually both"

Anna laughs, "You are very powerful when you're angry, scary and in control. So I think it might be the 'sad' that's the problem. Care to talk about it?"

Jane rubs her wrists thinking for a moment, "I miss this, training, I miss being a detective, chasing perps, the usual everyday stuff... _ex_ everyday stuff. I'm sad I can't do it anymore" she confesses

"Well that's some grade A bullshit. I know you well enough to know it's not that, whatever it is...you can't let it get control. You've got to fight like you've already won the fight."

"And what if I loose?"

"What will you loose if you don't win?"

Jane ran her hand through her hair and stopped near the hairline on her neck. Kneading the tense neck muscles there. "I'm scared"

"Fear isn't you friend, you can't think about it. You have to focus on the end game."

* * *

 

She feels Maura's tight grip around her as she wakes slowly, lazily, enjoying the softness of the soft comfortable bed and Maura's warm body. Quickly kissing the forearm closest to her lips lovingly, "Morning"

"Morning Jane, you stayed." It's said almost as a thank you

"Mmmmm. Had nowhere else to be just now," Jane chuckles opening her eyes and staring deeply into beautiful green ones.

Maura kisses Jane's jaw near the bruising, "I'm glad" she whispers

Jane smiles softly, "What do you want to do today?" carefully hiding her own smile of anticipation at Maura's soon to be reaction

Maura raises her eyebrows, "With you? really?" her smile broadens across her face and almost reaches her ears, her eye's lit up like a christmas tree, exactly as Jane had hoped for.

"Really, really" Jane replies softly leaning in for a searing kiss that wipes the grin right off Dr. Isles face.

Soon they were in the kitchen getting ready to spend a few hours together. Just them. Breakfast was first on the agenda.

"Prunes for breakfast, ewww Maura. Don't you have donuts or cereal"

Maura laughs, "They are good for digestion Jane, and from what I can tell you haven't been getting enough fibre lately..."

"No no no absolutely -N-O-, gross, WE are not discussing this, this...me, and bathroom stuff...NO" she gives Maura the evil eye warning that it's the end of the topic.

Maura's eyes twinkle, "Why did the banana go out with the prune?"

Jane stares at her incredulous, "I am not eating prunes OR bananas."

Maura starts to giggle ignoring Jane and amusing herself, struggling to say the punchline between snickers, "Because he couldn't get a date" she finally laughs hysterically.

Jane deadpans but eventually succumbs to a smile at the sight of Maura laughing at her own corny joke. She secretly hopes the rest of the day would be a little stronger than a G rating.

* * *

 

"So 'Joe Friday", he chuckles at Jane's scowl, "I have good news and bad news. What do you want first?"

"Surprise me" she growled.

"We do have a lead. Your file itself wasn't a complete waste of time, it was viewed by two intelligence agencies before you were taken. One was the CIA but that's no surprise. The second was a division of the U.S. Army Intelligence and Security Command called INSCOM whose assignments include psychological and psychotronic warfare."

Jane nods understanding, frowning slightly, waiting for more

"Who gave the order though, well that's entirely different. There is an array of groups like we have previously discussed like the CFR, Trilateral Commission, Bilderberg Group, NSC, NSA, NPO and JCS to name a few. Above them is another layer of organizations. So..."

"So, It's complicated then" Jane interrupts him already frustrated at the lack of progress she has been battling all week.

"Oh you have no idea..." John Doe rubs his forehead slowly deep in thought.

"Which alphabet soup are you involved with?" She spits back at him already knowing he won't answer but she wants him to feel her annoyance, her anger.

John Doe laughs, "I'm not under the intelligence branches. Just as with the official government, the Shadow Government has functional branches. However, unlike the official government, the purpose of the non-executive branches of the Shadow Government is simply to distribute various functions, but not to achieve a system of checks and balances, as was supposed to happen constitutionally between the executive, legislative and judicial branches of the U.S. Government. That is because the Shadow Government is a creature of a powerful elite, who need not fear being dominated by an instrument of their own creation. In the Shadow Government there are five branches, the Executive Branch, the Intelligence Branch, the War Department, the Weapons Industry Branch, and the Financial Department. Excluding the executive branch there are 70 or so groups."

Jane frowns at him, it was an answer without being an answer, she definitely doesn't feel any better, "Was that the bad news or the good news?"

"I guess that was the good news," he shifts his weight to the other leg wishing he wasn't standing any longer, this was meant to be a very quick meeting. He should have taken Jane up on her offer to meet at a coffee house instead of here.

"Then I'm not super ecstatic about the bad news," Jane pouts rubbing her hands together in anticipation.

"I want to tell you a story," He could sense her distrust in him, in anything secretive, and the only was he could help her was to expose part of his own agenda, "My sister Kay was married to a US marine colonel who was an Illuminati insider. He was a trained assassin and worked in mind control among other things. He liaised with public names such as Bush, Rockerfeller and Kissinger. He called the people he was involved with 'members of The Firm or The Brotherhood.' He mentioned how many are members of the Cap and Gown Princeton group or the Skull and Bones Yale crowd and how they performed sexually perverted induction ceremonies. He told me how sex is used to control, intimidate and groom boys into this type of military service from a young age." John scratched the back of head slowly fighting back his own emotions, "Hazing is a milder form of these initiation rituals. It has spread into mainstream society through Masonic sub-groups hidden in various institutions. They function as Masonic recruiting pools or Masonic kindergartens, a place for young people to dress up and practice the rituals and roles they will act out in the future."

"So that's the link?" Jane throws her hands up in the air, "I messed up some stupid kids future and it had to be fixed and some agency is behind that, behind making _ME_ hide the truth, so the kid can have his perfect little planned perfect life."

"Well, simply put, yes."

Jane turns and kicks the bank behind her splashing mud across her brand new sneakers, the brown mud stands out on the white fabric like a messy smudged Ying and Yang. She rests her forearms against the bank her face in her hands and holds back tears. The anger rolling like waves as every second of the torture she endured revisits her like a movie. All for one kid, so simple, so stupid. The future of some rich kid was more important than Hamish, than her, than the people she cared about. Her security, her basic human need to feel safe had been hijacked and destroyed permanently for that. She started beating her fists against the muddy bank, fighting silently on the inside. Mud splattered her top, her face and ran down her arms. John watches in silence knowing it isn't his place to do anything, just waiting for her to be ready to continue.

"Is that the bad news?" She moans loudly about ready to fall apart, shoulders slumped, head forward. Her fists still half planted in the muddy bank, her back to John.

"I believe the kid is Ricci"

"Who's his family?"

"You don't wanna go there, trust me."

"Maybe I do" she looks over her shoulder to glare at him

He looks softly back at her, "Yes. Maybe you do. I would too. But what I have for you isn't about him. He can wait."

Jane turns around to face him and smiles ever so slightly, a tiny glimmer of hope.

"One of the documents had a signature, it appeared to be a release form of some sort. The dates match. One very smart tech guy..." He points his thumb at himself, "Instead of just finding a name of one of you captors tracked it directly to an actual person. Funny thing about these agencies is they keep very very detailed paperwork."

Jane wants to hug him, but considering they have met twice and she is currently dripping mud, she's sure she would end up in some kind of choke-hold.

He clears his throat before continuing, "Someone is going to pick you up Saturday night and take you to a meeting point, It will be worth your while. Your choice, as always, if you go."

"Thank you...for saving the good news for last" she whispers.

He nods slightly accepting her gratitude and then turns and disappears the way he came.

Jane heads the other way, towards the park and jogs back towards her apartment to wash the mud off that is now starting to dry on her skin.

* * *

 

Dan looks at the photo she is holding, "Whatever they talked about seemed to upset them both. Detective Rizzoli seemed angry and that man disappeared into that pipe outlet, he never came back out." he shrugs in apology.

The next photo Jane faces away from the man leaning against the bank, the man's face still not visible in the shadows.

Maura flips to the last photo in the sequence. Jane visibly upset, her eyes a little puffy. She has black splatters and smudges across her face and her hands and arms covered in a mud-type substance.

Maura drops that set on the pile to look at the next one, every photo gets more and more painful. This secret painful life Jane leads seems to tear her heart open. She wants to stop but can't, she has to know that the woman she loves will be ok.

The third set of photo's are a day later near Jane's apartment. The top photo is hazy and almost impossible to make out...

* * *

_"Since I entered politics, I have chiefly had men's views confided to me privately. Some of the biggest men in the United States, in the field of commerce and manufacture, are afraid of something. They know that there is a power somewhere so organized, so subtle, so watchful, so interlocked, so complete, so pervasive, that they had better not speak above their breath when they speak in condemnation of it." - Woodrow Wilson, The New Freedom 1913_

 

* * *

...to be continued...

 


	26. Into the rain

Chapter 26 - Into the rain

* * *

 

_The third set of photo's are a day later near Jane's apartment. The top photo is hazy and almost impossible to make out..._

"It was pouring with rain," Dan commented, "The camera lens steamed up. That's a black car without plates there. It pulled up outside Jane's apartment at midnight and she came outside down the fire escape and went across the road to the car. "

Jane, hair tied up and tucked under a black cap, wearing all black, cheeks flushed from the cold and her hair was stuck to her forehead and cheeks with the rain. Her eyes looked glassy and a little red. Maura sucks in a breath of air herself, she holds it in, trying to focus on not letting herself cry at the sight...

* * *

She hated the rain vehemently, it was a reminder of a pain that could physically disable her, usually she wouldn't go out in this weather, but this was a one time meeting and she couldn't afford to miss it. She wrapped her arms around herself sitting at her window peering out into the darkness as she waited for her ride. She wished they were Maura's arms wrapped around her, she knew Maura could never know the comfort she created for Jane. That she loved her without question, literally. That she never made her feel weak or lost. She wished ever day was a Friday.

_Silly, you choose Friday, she would have you any day and every day_

She smiled at the latter her heart skipping a beat at the warmth that moved through her, then frowned at herself at the former. How easy it would be to just go back to her old life, back on the force as an admired detective, a younger brother who aspired to follow in her footsteps, surrounded by family and friends, Sunday dinners, cuddles with her nephew, seeing Maura everyday, working cases and helping the dead. In her experience absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it makes the heart sick with ache and longing.

This life she currently was surviving in was concurrently the easy way out and the hard way out, call it paradoxical. Maura would call it antithetical. Although Jane had no word for it, she felt like she was being torn down the middle completely, walking one fork in the road with one half of her body and the other fork with the other half, the further the two roads separated the more painful it became.

* * *

"I don't mind what we do Maur' so long as you are happy, so whatever you want to do...including art galleries and museums and boring stuff", she smiled cheerfully as Maura finally stopped laughing at her prune joke.

Maura suppresses a snicker, "There is a new art gallery in town I _was_ planning to visit."

Jane groans but the corners of her mouth curl up anyway. It's just a habit to complain more than she would really hate it, anything with Maura was never as awful as she expects it to be. Maura knows she would willingly go anywhere she was asked despite the scene she might make, as she secretly relished the anarchy in a sense a rebellion at her prim and proper upbringing. Teasing Jane was almost secretly as enjoyable. Tilting her head to the side and pushing out her bottom lip she pushes a little more, questioning, "Don't you want to go with me Jane?"

Jane succumbs instantly to the pout, squeezing her face into a contorted grimacing frown and mumbling, "Fine. But doesn't paint-balling or rock-climbing sound so much more fun?" opening her eyes wide trying to portray in her simple expression just how awesome it might be.

"Not really Jane." Maura deadpans

They stare at each other for a moment, a stare that passes beyond the normal into an slightly awkward tension, broken only by Maura letting out a deep sigh of contentment.

Jane's dimples deepen and her eyes sparkle as she realizes Maura has played her and she leans forward kissing her best friend slowly and gently on the lips, "Well done Maur."

Maura nibbles her bottom lip as Jane pulls away

"You can't go like that though Jane."

'What? why?" she looks down at her clothing, "What's wrong with this?"

"Well for starters you look like you're dressed for work, and is that blood on your collar?"

Jane pulls her collar away to get a better look, "It's a reddish brown stain Maura, obviously"

Maura leans right into her neck to inspect, giving it a sniff, sending a shudder up Jane's spine. "Jam Jane?" she deduces giving Jane a look of bewilderment

Jane pulls a mock look of being horrified, "Who would dare give me the raspberry" she grins her dimples and teeth showing and Maura shakes her head facetiously.

* * *

Seeing Maura was now bittersweet. Maura's expression radiated sheer unconditional love but also a reminder of the suffering she endured which was why she couldn't stay all the time, why she woke in the middle of the night in Maura's arms but had to leave quickly, leaving Maura alone with only a chaste kiss on the lips and her lingering scent.

It had been her own fault, she had imagined Maura's face constantly in those four days to stay strong, to keep her wits about her, to not go insane. She had at times imagined Maura saving her while she was being tortured, protecting her, sending in the calvary to destroy her captors. Her daydreams had fused with her nightmares. She had both the ardent love of Maura and the unescapable anxiety wrapped up into one ambivalent enigma. If she couldn't resolve it she felt it would destroy her.

She finally saw the car outside, headlights flickering to full beam several times pulling her from her thinking, everything was slightly blurry until she realized she had been crying. She indignantly wiped her face with her sleeve and climbed out the window descending the fire escape platforms to the first floor and sliding down the ladder, dropping the last six feet to the ground splashing water up her own legs as she landed ungracefully in a puddle.

* * *

Maura was staring at the semi hazy photo of Jane leaning into the window of a dark plateless automobile.

Dan continued to explain the picture as it was impossible to make out clearly, "She didn't get in straight away, she seemed really anxious. The guy in the car was smoking a fancy Cuban cigar, there were puffs of smoke coming out the window. It's hard to tell from this photo though sorry. Then she got in and they drove to Cambridge. I followed." Dan shifts in his seat trying to gage the doctors reaction.

Maura's face was unreadable, her lips were pursed in anger, her eyes were misty with sadness, yet her eyebrows were contracted in concern.

* * *

 

Lou was a friendly funny chap, he called himself Mr. Transport and said one day he would be exactly like Jason in the movie 'the transporter'. He didn't stop talking the whole drive across town to Tech Square. In a way it was good because she had no time to feel nervous or to psych herself out. She only laughed at a few of his terrible jokes but his soothing chit chat stopped her mind from getting lost.

Today was the day she had waited weeks for, today the puzzle would begin to unravel.

It sucked being alone. She'd love Frankie here to confide in him, seek his help, his support, but John Doe warned her about the dangers of her new life, her new choices. Vince would be great to have around too. Or Maura, especially Maura. She sniffed, a wave of self pity trying to hang onto her, she pushed it away quickly, knowing once she went down that road she would truly have lost everything for nothing.

_Protect them_

Her new mantra, her new will to continue alone, completely and utterly forlorn.

When they pulled up outside, Lou offered to open her door, "It's what transporters do in movies." He had grinned at her in his cheeky calm way.

"I'm fine", Jane laughed finding the door handle on her own.

Lou got out anyway, if only to make sure she met her contact. He then waved goodbye and heading off into the dark moonless night.

* * *

 

Dan pushes the photo away and points to the next one, "That's the guy in the car there, he introduced her to someone else then he left in his car and she stayed there with the other guy."

The picture was at least clear, A man in his mid 50's in a casual white suit, he had white hair and a lined round face. A cigar in the corner of his mouth.

Maura moves to the next photo. The black car driving off in the distance. The man Jane was with was wearing a black hoodie and jeans. He had long black hair tied back in a ponytail, he had a scar on his chin causing his mouth to look a little skewed when he spoke. His eyes were gentle, blue. He looked somewhat concerned.

* * *

"Shannon" He introduced himself with a slight lisp, reaching out to shake Jane's hand, "Not my real name of course, you understand", he grinned his dimples showing. He was young, clean cut, trusting blue eyes, dark shiny hair pulled back in a ponytail, "Joe Friday right?"

Jane nods slowly, she didn't expect him to be so gentle, she didn't really know what to expect exactly. But she liked him.

Shannon smiled at her warmly, "I have a something, just for you."

* * *

 

"There exists a shadowy government with its own Air Force, its own Navy, its own fundraising mechanism, and the ability to pursue its own ideas of the national interest, free from all checks and balances, and free from the law itself." ~ Senator Daniel K. Inouye, highest ranking Asian-American politician in United States history

 

* * *

...to be continued...

 

 


	27. Target Aquired

Chapter 27 - Target acquired

* * *

 

_Shannon smiled at her warmly, "I have a something, just for you."_

"First..the ground rules." he adds

Jane nods, John Doe had told her briefly about the rules. These men, and sometimes women, put themselves and their families at huge risk to gather and expose information they believed the public deserved to know. They hid within the very agencies they exposed, watching and waiting, and they did what they could to help those that needed help without being discovered themselves. They used groups like wikileaks to help reveal materials without revealing themselves or their sources. They were what the world called whistleblowers. No matter the cost they would not stop, the world deserved the truth, but they did try to stay as hidden as possible otherwise they would be persecuted and unable to do more. The costs were almost unspeakable and legislation changes had made it increasingly dangerous for them.

"No real name's, no camera's, no recording devices, no phones"

"None" Jane replies

"No posting on blogs, webpages, social media. No locations or details or documents."

"Definitely not"

"You do not come back _here_. This location...ever...unless it's with me."

"Ok"

"Don't kill her"

Jane frowns, she didn't imagine it would ever go that far anyway

"You do not go public...for your own sake..." His blue eye's transfix hers, the bright blue radiating like orbs in the semi-darkness. His face is warm and he doesn't stop smiling softly, it was like he might have cared.

Jane nods in agreement.

* * *

"Why don't you just expose them?" Jane asked John Doe, "Wouldn't that be easier. I mean you have proof"

John smiled, and shook his head slowly, he had thought about doing just that a million times. "Thomas Drake who worked for the NSA, tried to warn the public about the dangers of NSA surveillance programs. For this he was fired from the NSA, illegally arrested at dawn at gun-point by the FBI, stripped of his security clearance, charged with crimes that would send him to prison for life, evidence was with-held or destroyed after he was indicted, he was investigated for half a decade. He was all but ruined professionally and financially. Today Drake works in an Apple store in Washington and his warnings were largely ignored. His story sent an unmistakable message: Raising concerns within the system promised doom."

Jane shook her head frowning, "There are laws though, that protect people who try to stop crimes."

"Name one whistleblower from the intelligence community whose disclosures led to real change – overturning laws, ending policies – who didn't face retaliation as a result." John Doe's frown becomes a smile as he continues, "Ironically, the pentagon, in their zeal to punish Drake, taught Edward Snowden how to evade their clutches. The problem is the government claims the people who come forward and made their charges are lying, are paranoid, 'we're not doing those things.' they say. And the whistleblowers couldn't prove their case because the government had classified all the evidence. Snowden however took the evidence with him, so when the government issued its usual denials, he could produce document after document showing that they were lying.

A UN whistle-blower Povl Bang-Jensen, a senior Danish diplomat, tried to expose sabotage of the committee by powerful forces. The entire machinery of the UN set out to crush him in sham "hearings" and "tribunals," even attempting to paint him as mentally ill. Eventually, after warning multiple people that he was being targeted and that he would never commit suicide under any circumstances, Bang-Jensen " _committed suicide_." Virtually every credible analyst realized the " _suicide_ " happened under extremely suspicious circumstances." John waves his fingers as he makes air quotations around the words suicide, his face showing complete derision.

"Ok, so you have to have evidence and if you do expose it you are a criminal, a traitor." Jane summarises

"Exactly"

* * *

"And what about you?" Shannon asks eyeing her up carefully

Jane frowned, confused, "What about me?"

"Are you safe? I mean...do they know where you live and all that?"

Jane looked at the ground, she knew she wasn't safe, but there wasn't a lot she could do about it, "They know _everything_ about me" she whispers faintly. "And about my friends and my family."

* * *

Lying on the soft grass staring out into the distant beautiful surroundings, birds chirping, water running over rocks nearby, the peaceful pond at their feet. Maura lying back on Jane, both relaxing and enjoying the peacefulness. It had been a picnic lunch, something they had both wanted but never managed the time.

"She is fierce and first to defend me in my moment of trouble or need, her wit and laughter sustain me and never come at my expense, and when we part there's no sadness because our bond is always there. You are not just my friend, you are a gift, both precious and rare." Maura quotes the poem she wrote about Jane, written at a different time in a different place but still meaning as much today.

Jane squeezes Maura tighter in her arms, "It's beautiful Maura, you're beautiful. I remember when Kent read that, I never got to thank you properly."

"I meant every word Jane"

"Maura, I promise you that I will always always be here for you, please know that."

Maura reaches above her and pulls Jane down for a long kiss.

"A picnic might just have been your most genius idea ever" Jane huskily purrs when the kiss breaks causing Maura to laugh softly

"I doubt that Jane. And you should not use the word genius as an adjective either"

"Picky" Jane jokes scooting even closer, nibbling Maura's shoulder enjoying the sensations, the taste and smell, "This is beautiful. Thank you for today" she whispers in Maura's ear.

"Jane, what did you do with the evidence bag that had the note in it?"

Jane sits up quickly, "Why?"

"It was in my rubbish bin last week. Did you put it there?"

Jane swallows the growing lump in her throat, "I need you to be extra careful Maur. Really careful...For me ok. Really vigilant. OK? Promise me?"

Maura smiles, "Of course Jane, anything for you."

Maura had cuddled back into Jane, but she couldn't accept the comfort, or enjoy it. She suddenly felt numb.

The fear rises back up into her throat and she clenches her jaw until it hurts. She had destroyed the note and thrown the bag in _her own_ trash a month ago. How did it get to Maura's.

It scared her, it reminded her they were watching, that they wouldn't stop.

Someone had put a square white cloth into her mail-slot a few weeks earlier as well, she had run to the bathroom and dry retched for five minutes after she had seen it. She had added extra deadbolts to her door and hadn't checked her mail since. She hoped pretending it hadn't happened would minimize it's importance. She could ignore it in her own life...but she couldn't ignore the threat to others... For whatever reason it wasn't over.

* * *

Jane rubbed her eye quickly before it could become wet and cleared her throat. She rubbed the back of her neck. Now was not the time to break down emotionally, now was the time to do something pre-active about it...that's why she was here...in the rain, with a stranger

"Right, we will have to take care of _that_ problem then," he grinned, he would enjoy this task immensely, "Let's get what you need, yeah?"

"Who the hell are you, Shannon?" Jane asked, her voice faltering

He chuckled, beaming, "I am their worst nightmare."

* * *

"She arrived at my place with bruised ribs and covered in scrapes and bruises the following day." Maura pointed at the date on the bottom of the picture, "That was one of the first times I knew something had changed, in her. Her humour sort of...faded, like she was more detached from it." Maura stated sadly, "What happened after that, Dan?"

Dan sighed in dismay, "Her and that fella went north and by the time I got into position to see where they went...they were gone. I was at the south end and the area they had been in was surrounded by fencing and barbed wire, I had to go the long way around. They went on foot and so I just walked around a bit hoping to figure it out...but I didn't find them again. Detective Rizzoli didn't go home that night either."

Maura sighed and dropped the photo onto the growing pile. She put her head in her hands and rubbed her temples with her palms.

"What is she doing Dan?"

"If I had to guess Maura, I'd say she if looking for something...or someone..."

* * *

Shannon stood somewhere in the distance, keeping a watchful eye. They had agreed on a plan and it was up to Jane to take the lead. It was her agenda, her fight and they would let her do whatever she wanted or needed to do. He was there only if she needed him.

The semi-familiar click clack of heels echoed around the underground carpark, it sounded like a dozen people walking as the sound ricocheted of the concrete floor walls and ceilings until it faded into the distance. The sound itself causing an anger to rise up inside her she didn't know was there. The second clack in the loop was always a little delayed almost as if there was more weight on the leg. It wasn't Maura's walk, it was a different tune. It took several long moments before the woman that matched the sound appeared into her view. Jane stayed hidden watching her approach, like a predator watches it's unsuspecting prey. She bit her tongue to keep from just screaming in anger and frustration. Jane was overwhelmed by a sense of betrayal and at the same time as the woman finally noticed her presence.

She jumped slightly and stopped at the dark human shaped shadow which moved only a few meters from her and reached her hand to her heart clasping her top as if to hold her heart physically still.

Jane stepped slowly forward out of the shadows and stopped when the light has fully illuminated her face.

"You found me" the woman states slowly trying to hide all emotion, the flicker of fear obvious and not missed as she faced Jane, now clutching her bag tightly.

Jane nods and smiles coyly, "I did"

The woman tries to discreetly scan the area behind Jane, to see if she is alone. Satisfied they are alone she puts down her doctor style black bag on the ground and pushes it further away from her with her foot.

She had been halfway from the building to her car and she hadn't parked in the secure coded park with cctv cameras today, she regretted this immensely.

Jane stared at her sternly, angrily, she remembered her every feature, the soft face and rounded cheekbones, the slightly dimpled chin, the sandy blonde hair still pulled back into a loose bun, the piercing blue eyes behind gold-rimmed glasses. She was still rather stunning in looks. But Jane only still saw red looking at her. She realized immediately this deep anger would be counter-productive and thought not about revenge...but about Maura being safe. It grounded her.

"What are you? A doctor?"

The woman nodded, "Yes."

"Or a mad scientist...A psychopathic torturer?

"Are you trying to get yourself killed, Jane?"

Jane gulped, she could still walk away from this, she was seconds away from being all in, past the point of turning back. Once she was in everyone she knew including herself could be in immediate danger. But...she could still walk away...

* * *

...to be continued...

 


	28. Answers

Chapter 28 - Answers

* * *

 

_Once she was 'in' everyone she knew including herself could be in immediate danger. But...she could still walk away..._

Jane stared at the woman, the doctor, showing no emotion, thinking, contemplating...

_"You will have about 30 minutes, no one will interfere, make good use of your time because you won't get another chance to ask her what you need to ask."_ Shannon had told her, she hadn't asked what that meant, she wasn't sure she wanted to know, but it didn't have anything to do with her, it was about something else. She knew only that they had found her by the doctors signature on the release form from her own abduction on her very heavily redacted file.

Jane cleared her throat before speaking again, she wasn't going anywhere, she couldn't, "You were part of it. You decided how best to control me, get me to do what you wanted."

The woman says nothing, she doesn't deny it, she just watches as Jane continues, "You were clever, we both know that, not to leave any visible scars, no torn out fingernails, cut off appendages, burn marks, drugs in my system. I guess you studied my police record, huh, found out that physical pain doesn't tend to be very effective means of control on me."

Jane saw the smirk on the doctors lips, the micro expression, it was there then it was gone almost as quickly, "And everything you had planned for me was so that nothing could trace it back to you...to your organization. To leave that nice outward public appearance intact."

The doctor starts to slowly unbutton her dress jacket, no big movements, casual, like breathing, Jane knows she is preparing for a fight, and she is probably a black belt or something too.

"I only did my job" she finally counters, as if it explained everything, all too aware her silence hasn't been fooling Jane. She slips her jacket off and folds it over her bag.

Jane squeezes and loosens her fists, merely to indicate back that she knows what the woman is up too and it isn't psyching her out at all, the non verbal cues stronger between them than words could ever be.

"I liked you Jane, I never hurt you, remember? I never once harmed you. I was even _good_ to you." she slowly removes her glasses and drops them onto her jacket without taking her eyes off Jane.

" _You_ threatened Maura. _You_ chose the method of torture and I presume _you_ have been part of my 'post operative care'." Jane growls deeply teeth clenched holding up her hand with three fingers extended.

She notices the woman's eyes show a momentary flicker of terror.

_Maybe she isn't trained after all, maybe she is just a doctor. A real doctor like Maura._

The woman removes her rings and slides them into her pocket, "You don't know what _you're_ dealing with here, Jane..."

_Then again, maybe not._

"...More importantly..." the doctor continues slowly, every word emphasised with a troubling inflection. Her expression stony. She takes a cautious half step closer to Jane, "You don't know _who_ you're dealing with... _you_ don't know _anything_." her tone just plain mocking, ridiculing, and Jane recalled that she had heard the exact words before.

_"You don't know anything. Everything you think you know is only everything you have been allowed to know."_ The cold male voice with no face in the shadows had said it to her many weeks ago causing a brand new wave of sickening anxiety to fill her, she took a slow deep breath keeping her mind and emotions in check, she could not let this woman know in the slightest than anything had or could affect her.

_"90% of fight happens before the first strike..."_ Anna's voice echoed calmly through her mind, ".. _It happens up here",_ she had been holding Jane's wrist as she said those words and she had used Jane's hand to point at Jane's temple. Anna had been holding her wrist so tightly, so urgently, squeezing the semi-healed scar tissue just under her wrist straps as if their lives both depended on it, _"You have to psychologically lower their guard. Think about what you're saying, break their chain of thought. Distract them. They will be doing the same to you...remember that"_

The urgency in Anna's tone, and the feeling of her own fingertip brushing her temple, somehow she knew she would never forget.

_"And that moment you see their mind is distant, thinking, those cogs turning...then attack. The unexpected element of surprise. Finish the fight in first shot if you can."_

This doctor was setting her up to surprise attack her, get her angry and thinking about who she was dealing with instead of the here and now. But she could play this game too.

Jane moving one arm across her chest tucking it under her armpit and the other arm she folded in half so her fist was resting under her chin. She outwardly appeared just to be thinking...but she was prepared.

_Left foot forward_ she reminds herself relaxing naturally into position

"You should go." The woman tries to assert her power position over Jane, a subtle shift in her perceived power, she wrongly assumed she had had an effect on Jane, that Jane was weaker.

She seemed taller than Jane remembered but a lot less cocky than when she was _her_ prisoner. _She isn't wearing flats, thats why she is taller, not as tall as me though._

"Why is that, Doctor, are you _afraid_ of me?" Jane says stepping slightly closer, there is now only about three feet between them.

The doctor smiles with contempt, a snicker or a snort, her beauty suddenly disappears as her face becomes contorted with hatred and disdain. Her lips compressed together tightly, angrily.

"You don't even know what I really want" Jane adds without moving.

_Pre-emptive Jane. Keep you balance. Short straight punches in a clean straight line, don't waste energy and force by swinging wide._

The woman stares at Jane her eyebrows crease momentarily, like she's just been told those glasses she couldn't find all day have been on her head the entire time. Her mouth drops open as for a moment her brain races with all the things Jane might actually want from her, why she is really there, "Oh, I...What do you w-"

Jane throws her fist, thats been tucked under her chin, forward towards the doctors ear, her hand changing midair into a scoop shape, it slams forcefully and accurately into the target, forcing air into the doctors ear causing her to stumble backwards, loosing her balance momentarily, swaying side to side, her eardrum ruptured and painful. She cries out in pain and surprise trying to and successfully regaining her footing. She didn't see it coming, it was too fast to sharp...

Just as she has got her balance shakily back, Jane has already stepped towards her and swung her arm out again, with just as much speed and power, straight out and downwards sharply directly into her clavicle. Jane feels it crack beneath her wrist with the force, the woman cries out again, gasping, leaning forward and swaying again

"Seven pounds of pressure will break the clavicle" Jane repeats the words of Maura in her head.

Then without any pause Jane steps forward again and throws her left elbow out forcefully into the hunched doctors sternum, she can't tell if she has broken it or if it will just be bruised, if she had aimed perfectly it was broken, either way it had to hurt like hell, the woman finally looses her balance and falls backwards to the ground, moving one arm to her ear and the other to her chest as her legs sprawl around her. She groans and rocks in pain and shock, heaving and grunting.

Jane smiles, she is proud of herself, Anna would be proud too. She has disabled the doctor without harming her face, allowing her the ability to answer questions without hinderance. She squats down in front of the doctor looking down at her, giving her a few moments to catch her breath.

"I want names."

The woman doesn't answer

"50 pounds of pressure on the joint between the mandible and the skull will break it.." Jane adds for good measure, a verbal threat of what will come momentarily without compliance, "I don't really want to hurt you, doctor, just tell me who you work for?"

She looks at Jane, her eyes full of trepidation. Jane has never seen this expression on this woman, but she doesn't care anymore, her own face shows no empathy or sadness, her countenance is hard, cold, calculated. She isn't angry anymore, the anger is past.

The woman realizing how disadvantaged and vulnerable she is at this point concedes, "Ok...I'll tell ...you" she says with clenched teeth between gasps

* * *

 

Maura is talking to herself now, everything else forgotten, her full attention on every detail like it might solve some mysterious puzzle, "When she arrived at my house she looked hurt or maybe lost. It took her a moment to register I had opened the front door for her and was standing there. Then she looked up at me, her expression like she was guilty of something. She didn't say anything for a moment, like the place she was in wouldn't allow her to leave. The she saw me, really saw me, and she covered all the emotions and smiled at me. I knew she wouldn't talk about it, but it was like a glimpse into something unspeakable..."

_"How do you always look like you're dressed for a photo shoot?"_

_Maura chuckles, "I dressed up for you"_

_Jane's eyes darkened seductively and she steped into the doorway wrapping an arm around Maura's waist and walking into the house closing the door behind her. She leans as close to Maura's lips as possible without touching them teasingly, "Thank you for that."_

"She went about everything as though it was normal...but I knew something had happened. Something bad."

Maura thought about later that evening when she opened the bathroom door as Jane was changing into her pajamas, she was topless, the contusion over her back was fresh, still in it's first stages of colour, a huge patch of red interspersed with blue from the upper lumbus to the dorsum and also the backs of her arms. When she had turned at the sound of the door opening Maura saw the bruising was across her thorax also, in a horizontal line, identical to football tackle injuries and usually in conjunction with cracked ribs. She had gasped in surprise at the sight, and Jane had reached her arms up to cover her bare chest.

Lying in bed together shortly after, the silence had been deafening. But Jane still held her tightly as if she felt no pain, as if nothing had happened. Jane hadn't stayed all night, she had disappeared sometime between 3 and 5am. Maura knew this because she had woken at 2am and had watched Jane sleeping for almost an hour, just studying her face, her features, she looked different...sort of different. Jane had murmured incoherently a few times in her sleep. Maura had eventually drifted off and had woken again just after 5am and knew without looking she was now alone in her bed.

Maura sighed sadly to herself. What could she do, what should she do. It was a puzzle that didn't have enough pieces.

* * *

 

She had a name. She had the cover organization and the real organization above it. Between the elated feeling of victory and the possibly truthful answers she now had, Jane lets her guard down, and the doctor can tell. And in that split second when Jane starts to stand up to her feet from crouching in front of the sitting doctor, the doctor lunges into Jane's torso pushing off her shins and using her right shoulder. She still cries out at the pressure on her broken clavicle and bruised sternum. Jane is lifted into the air and slammed backwards with force into the passenger door of the car behind her leaving a deep depression in the door. Her head rocks backwards as her body stops its reverse trajectory suddenly, and she groans as her spine takes the force of the impact and then she slumps forward against the doctor who then drops her to the ground and stumbles backward again, her balance still off from her ruptured eardrum. The car starts to squeal in a high pitch repetitive pattern as the alarm kicks in. Jane grunts as she pushes herself off the ground shakily to her knees and stares angrily at her opponent leaning heavily on the dented screaming car beside her.

"You almost had me", the woman laughs, she sounds and looks maniacal as she flounders slightly trying to gather her bag in her arms, digging around inside looking for something.

Jane tries to move, to get up, she has to stop the doctor from finding whatever she is looking for, Shannon never mentioned what would happen if she died at the hands of the this woman and she hadn't thought to ask.

The doctor speaks as she finds what she's been looking for, "Almost from the beginning, the CIA engaged not only in the collection of intelligence information, but also in covert operations which involved overturning governments, rigging elections, carrying on paramilitary operations, assassinating foreign officials, protecting former Nazis and lying to Congress." She smiles almost delightfully as she pulls a syringe full of yellow liquid out of her bag, "Under the cabal, government contracts, favors and above all, wealth, are based on favoritism – on being 'on the inside' or 'in the loop'. The worldwide conspiracy being orchestrated by an extremely powerful and influential group of genetically-related individuals which include many of the world's wealthiest people, top political leaders, and corporate elite whose goal is to create a One World Government, stripped of nationalistic and regional boundaries, that is obedient to their agenda."

The doctor steps towards Jane eyeing her up carefully, ready to finally destroy her, "Not everything is a conspiracy, but let's face it Jane, those who strive for power are also those most likely to abuse it. The correct use of power requires integrity and wisdom, virtues human nature doesn't come with naturally, but are acquired, therefore rare. Because of this those who gain power will lack the integrity and wisdom to use it correctly. And so conspiracies arise, for conspiracies are nothing more than underhanded schemes of self-serving individuals bent on gaining and maintaining power..."

* * *

 

_Joe Friday : Why did no one else understand or believe what happened to me? No other groups I mean...like you did._

_1nC0gn1t0 : You're up late_

_Joe Friday : Can't sleep_

_1nC0gn1t0 : Slides_

_Joe Friday : Slides?_

_1nC0gn1t0 : It is a CIA term for a conditioned type of response which dead ends a person's thinking and terminates debate or examination of the topic at hand. For example, the mention of the word "conspiracy" often solicits a slide response with many people._

_Joe Friday : So the media will uses the word conspiracy in order to nullify a person or topic? Or when I question something considered conspiratorial they shut me down._

_1nC0gn1t0 : Correct. What most people believe to be 'Public Opinion' is really a carefully crafted and scripted propaganda designed to elicit a desired behavioral response from the public. Public opinion polls are really taken with the intent of gauging the public's acceptance of the planned programs or beliefs. A strong showing in the polls tells them that the programming is "taking", while a poor showing tells the manipulators that they have to recast or "tweak" the programming until the desired response is achieved._

_Joe Friday : My god. Thats why you told me to stop watching the television._

_1nC0gn1t0 : Partially yes, television is designed to control the publics perception or reality, if a reporter or show disses something then the people are afraid to go against the it. But the other reason is that the television is a brainwashing tool, a tool for maintaining power. That is why the people you sought for help before finding me caused you to feel like you were confused or wrong or crazy. They were brainwashed even though they seemed to be on the outside themselves. Often a conspiracy is so large so complicated that it seems impossible and therefore laughable, the brain slides right over it into the manipulated opinion. The other reason is that all television shows will give you a very biased view of the government and federal organizations like the FBI and CIA, that they are good and can be trusted...and with where you are going that lie will not serve you well._

* * *

 

The doctor is fast approaching and although every step appears to pain her she is in control now.

_'Come on Jane. Don't give them a second to gain momentum or get the upper hand'.  
Nope no good...she's already got the upper hand  
_ Her brain fires through her training to gather something helpful. Anna had trained her not to get herself in this position, less on how to get out of it.

 _'Aim for the top of head in the facial area...a good solid head butt...don't cause the person to flinch first or they will move and your aim will be off and you could hurt yourself'  
Damn it I'm not standing right now, something useful, anything...  
_ She was starting to panic and nothing helpful was coming to her right now, the doctor was a few feet away and any second that needle would be in her arm. Sure Shannon would do his thing to the doctor after but she had no idea what was in that needle. She wasn't even that injured. She just had no plan right now and she couldn't move without a plan...

"I lied earlier. I _did_ want to hurt you. And I'm not sorry either." she growls at the doctor who is now hovering over her

"I understand Jane, and I'm not sorry either." she smirks

Jane lunges at the doctor in almost the exact way she got surprised and crushed into the car earlier, only Jane lunges lower into the pelvic region grabbing the doctors thighs throwing her upwards and due to Jane's height lifts her high into the air before dropping her backwards. There's no car to break or slow the fall, only the concrete which collides with the doctors head with a thud that seems to echo along with the car alarm still complaining incessantly.

Jane checks her pulse,

_Well she isn't dead..._

* * *

...to be continued...

 


	29. Maura

Chapter 29 - Maura

* * *

_Well she isn't dead..._

The warm water ran over her hands, washing off any traces of what had just happened, more mental than physical. She watched the water spiral as it drained, mesmerized by the consistent twirl as it appeared to sit static and spinning. After turning off the tap the water finally vanishes below her fingers. She wished her memories could wash away just as easily.

Using a paper towel to dry her hands before scrunching it up and basketball tossing it into the plastic waste-bin before finally looking up at her reflection in the mirror. She noticed her brow furrowed and tried to relax her face, it wasn't a groove she wanted permanently etched there. Her eyes looked dull, tired, and her face gaunt and pale. She almost didn't recognize herself and her stomach lurched at the sight.

She tried to smile but her reflection refused to comply only twitching the corners of her mouth.

Sighing she closed her eyes, it was a blessing she didn't have to see herself all the time. And she hardly saw anyone else these days anyway. No one would notice the change in her countenance...surely. She was still her, raven locks and tall frame, that was her, the 'her' that people knew from a distance, recognized immediately. Her mother would certainly see a change in her but she rarely saw her anymore, hadn't seen her in weeks now. Maura would notice, she would see Maura tomorrow too...she would have to do something about that, unsure what exactly she opened her eyes again. The 'her' staring back looked just as confused as she felt, how to solve this problem belonged to them both. Maybe she could dye her hair blonde...that would certainly distract anybody curious enough to bother looking at her. Or cutting her hair off. Short of changing her clothing there wasn't much else she could do. Maybe Maura wouldn't notice because she'd be just so darn happy to see her. Wishful thinking maybe.

The light tapping on the bathroom door pulled her from her dilemma, as a soft but gruff voice called out "Are ya alright?"

"Yeah" she called back without breaking eye contact with her reflection. Shannon wasn't her counsellor or her confidant, he was merely checking on her physically, her psyche was her own problem, "Be right out, Shannon."

With one last glance at the mirror she unlocked the door. Shannon stood on the other side, giving her a gentle smile, "Lou isn't far away. Are you ready to go."

Jane nodded, "Yeah".

Shannon returned her nod with his own, "Ok, I'll be in touch in a few days. Your file is heavily redacted and now if anyone opens it or searches for your name we'll know about it first. So relax, yeah?"

Jane forced a smile, "Thanks. No. I mean...Thank you so soooo much." Jane squeezed her hands together almost like a prayer, it was one of her mothers traits, a physical expression of gratitude. She truly was grateful, only the sickening feeling at the back of her mind was still consuming her and causing everything to feel wrong, backwards.

His grin warmed her heart slightly. His face shone almost like Jane's gratitude was the greatest compliment on earth to him. She would never know who he was exactly, but she had a hunch that he is or was a teenage hacker possibly picked up, caught, and utilized by a group like the NSA, and he now worked against those type of groups. That was alway the way, dumb people trying to use smarter people to their advantage not realizing the smart people weren't stupid. He was in his 20's and in the prime of his career, his illegal clandestine activities his greatest achievements. Jane hoped he'd never get caught.

"What about her?" Jane gestures over her shoulder in the general direction of the woman still lying unconscious on the ground, by her actions.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Shannon smiles

Jane looks down at her hands, then to Shannon, "Won't she come after me now?"

"No, never again."

Jane runs her hand through her curls anxiously, "You're not going to kill her are you?"

He chuckles, "No. Don't worry. We deal with these kinds of situations all the time."

Jane swallows and after a pause asks "What's in it for you?" she hadn't wanted to ask, but having things taken care of for her sounded like the mafia, and as much as she just wanted things to 'be taken care of' there was always a price. It went against her police training, her morals. That she had come this far without her conscience stopping her already, which was concerning enough, without this doctors's blood being on her hands also...despite what they had done to her...she was still human after all. And Jane valued life deserving or otherwise.

Shannon's smile drops, for the first time she see's him looking completely serious, in an instant he ages five or so years, "Jane, I like to play the Robin Hood slightly different. I don't just take from the rich and give to the poor, I _enjoy_ making the rich watch over their shoulders, fear the worst, fear for their children, their companies and their wealth. It slows them down, stops them taking so many privileges, and especially stops them using humans any way they feel like it. Remember who you're dealing with...these aren't people, not in the sense we are anyway. They care only about power, control, and always at the cost of lives. And they don't care. They start wars, create chaos, and when it suits them, they resolve it. They send young boys into war to die because war is profit, it makes them money because they finance both sides, and they are lovers of eugenics too, so death equals less people. They change history to suit themselves, to cover their crimes and make themselves look like the good guys. They make and change policies to suit themselves. They control the education system. Create disinformation and misinformation. They poison our food and water and make us sick, then make money selling us their drugs their cures. They brainwash us to buy their products. They allow us to work to pay taxes that they spend how they want for their own benefit. They control the banks and the currency, they control inflation and the stock market. Their alliance effects every aspect of human life, the value and distribution of commodities, money, weapons, water, fuel, the food we eat to live, the information we rely on to tell us who we are. They control both government parties, they have their people in every country, every institution. And when 'control by stealth' no longer works, they will use force. They control the police that will lock you up if you oppose them and they control the agencies that take you away...well, you know that part yourself. The 'they' I speak of is bigger than the spooks you have dealt with. The CIA is only one finger on a whole body."

Jane feels like she has to catch her breath, just to take in a small amount of this is huge let alone take it all in. She will mull over it, it will take to to comprehend, to change her views from the common world views.

Shannon can tell she isn't ready for more, "One day we will discuss the bigger picture...but not today." his smile reappears.

"Thought you said no names." Jane retorts squinting her eyes and scrunching her nose jokingly at him

Shannon laughs heartily, a twinkle to his eye, "True, I did say that." She joins in on the laugh. It's a good end to the conversation for now, break the tension of the night. Jane reaches out and gently touches his arm gently before retracting it back to her side, its a gesture of respect, of thanks, of trust.

They both watch as Lou pulls up slowly in his black car along the north side of the building and stops a few meters from them, he hops out casually and opens the back door holding it for Jane, a brand new cigar lit and puffing.

Jane turns to say goodbye to Shannon, but he's gone. She scans the empty area behind her but there is no sign of him.

"Those things will kill you, Lou." She points at his cigar before climbing in and closing the door. Lou gets in the front and shifts his rear view mirror so Jane is centre in his sight, "My occupation is more dangerous than nicotine," He laughs, "Let's get you home."

Jane tries to put it all behind her on the drive home, she has to prepare for phase two and getting stuck in regret or hesitating would slow her down. She was motivated to somehow finish this, or take down the webs of deceit with her.

Lou gives her his card before he leaves. It was well after 3 am, she has to get some sleep tonight. Today was Friday, soon she would see Maura, she couldn't wait, the week had felt like a month.

Her dreams hindered her quiescence, they would for the next few nights too. Flashes of the doctors eyes rolling back into her skull as her head hit the ground, flashes of the smirks she gave Jane, _"You don't know who you're dealing with"_ voices disrupting her slumber, unnerving her, interrupting her sleep. She woke later that day weary and very sore, miserable and aching.

* * *

Maura finally bunches the photo's together. That Friday had been almost a week ago now, she didn't know what had happened since then. Scooping the bundle of pictures up off the table she puts them into her handbag, no-one else can ever see these.

"Dan, Thank you, please keep following her, money is no issue."

"Sure Dr. Isles. I will keep you updated." He nods getting up to leave

Maura hums in thought, "Dan, Do you know where she is...right now?"

* * *

Maura arrives at Jane's apartment and pounds heavily on the door.

It's several moments before she hears movements followed by a sleepy hoarse voice calling out from somewhere inside "It's open."

Maura opens the door and steps cautiously inside, catching the shiny glint of something metal, a gun barrel, reflection from the low light entering off the hallway, it appears the barrel is aimed somewhere near her chest.

"Jane, it's me" she whispers quickly

The gun shaft drops quickly into the shadows and a sigh comes from general couch area, "Lock the door please Maura"

She does so before switching on the light. The darkness suddenly disappears as the space is brightly illuminated causing Jane to groan and cover her eyes. Jane's apartment is fairly tidy and looks almost identical to the times she came to try to find Jane in the beginning. Angela had cleaned then and Jane had barely disturbed it. Dan indicated to her that Jane was home at odd hours and there was never much movement from inside when she was home, it was easy to conclude she only used the place mainly to sleep.

"What are you doing here?" Jane's voice is croaky and slightly agitated like she hasn't had enough sleep, it interrupts Maura's own thoughts.

Maura moves to the couch and sits down beside Jane.

"Hi" she whispers, a half smile, trying to soften Jane's agitation

Jane softens, she can't help it, her body relaxes with a sigh, and she pulls out an almost award winning grin, "Hi Maur"

Despite her outward behavior she is thrilled to see Maura, they don't see each other nearly enough anymore...albeit it being entirely her choice, she does hate the arrangement.

_It's not forever_ she tells herself

Maura fiddles with the ring on her hand, rotating it a few times, she hadn't prepared anything beyond coming here, beyond just knowing Jane is ok. especially after just witnessing Jane's secret life of the last month.

"I, um, I wanted to ask you something, Jane."

"Shoot" Jane replies reaching over to touch Maura's shoulder, a tentative move, almost like she was checking Maura was alive, real, sitting beside her right now. Not some figment of a dream.

"I wanted to ask you about the CIA?"

Jane's smile doesn't move as she answers, "The CIA is a civilian foreign intelligence service of the United States federal government."

"Is that the from wikipedia?"

"Yep"

"I'm more interested in the definition that involves you." Maura doesn't break eye contact, she is watching for micro expressions, and finds Jane harder to read than usual

Jane clenches her jaw slightly but keeps the outward smile in place "What do you know?"

Maura swallows, she can't lie but doesn't want to let Jane know she has had her followed, "Well, In a conversation recently, I heard a little something." She tries to come across as nonchalant as possible while fighting off the onset of hives.

Jane's eyes search Maura's gently, she is hardly fooled by the way the question was answered

"About me?"

"In a sense, yes." Maura swallows, she scolds herself internally for not planning this exchange better.

Finally Jane's smile drops making way for the concern to seep through "The less you know the better Maur. I want to protect you."

Maura suddenly feels angry, "Please don't do this to me Jane. It's not fair."

Jane watches the anger come and go on Maura's face, only slightly shocked at her tone, before she answers.

"The CIA is a pawn in a game run by a select few. Some of the most powerful men and women on the planet are part of a global conspiracy, a shadow organization that spans across every continent and has for the last three decades, consisting of leaders in world government and the private sector." Jane shrugs like it's common knowledge and everybody already knows it

Maura squints her eyes into a glare, "Is there more?"

"Of course...It's an endless topic Maura."

Maura growls, actually growls, she is beyond frustrated "Jane I don't want to know _who_ they are and _what_ they do, I want to know what the whole thing has to do with _you_."

Jane gets up and goes to her fridge for a beer, "Want anything?" she asks pointing her fresh beer bottle at the fridge to indicate a drink of some sort. Maura shakes her head. "What makes you think it does have anything to do with me?" Jane asks sitting back down.

Maura tilts her head to one side, Jane being stubborn is trying her already diminished patience.

"Ok Jane, I will level with you. Between me not knowing where you are most of the time and all the physical injuries that I can only speculate are from fighting or being fought that you arrive with. _And_ considering everything you went through that you won't even talk to me about...I've..." she pauses, taking a deep breath, because who knows how Jane will react "...I've had someone keep an eye on you." If it wasn't a ring Maura was twirling she would have twisted her finger off with nerves by now. Jane takes a long drink of her beer watching the scene before her, considering this development. Somehow she feels silly thinking Maura would just let her run off and do her own thing without being the least bit concerned and in true Maura style become involved without actually becoming involved.

She looks at Maura with a half smile, "Just an eye?"

"Yes, a private eye." she licks her lips, her mouth so dry she can barely swallow

Jane finally laughs, "You're paying someone to watch me?" she says completely amused her dimples contracted deeply into her cheeks as the smile covers her whole face.

Maura nods frowning at the calmness she didn't expect

"And what did this private eye find out?"

Maura releases the breath she wasn't aware she was holding, "Well, you might be considered a tad reckless with you behavior and meetings with people. And a few interesting conversations he happened to overhear." She confesses.

"He? Should I be jealous?"

Maura finally smiles, "You're deflecting, Jane."

"Yes I am." She smiles back, "Do you want me to just distract you, I guarantee it will be a lot more fun?"

Maura glances at Jane's lips and licks her own again, "Maybe later."

Jane rubs her hands together, "I won't lie to you, Maura, and if you want to know then I will tell you. But it would be easier if you just trusted me." There has been no guarantee keeping this from Maura will actually keep Maura, or anyone, safe. This reality is full of unknowns and there is no-one to ask either. Maura reaches up and places her hand on Jane's cheek, who leans into the comforting gesture and smiles. "You're asking me to trust that you are going to be ok without knowing what you are doing. I don't think I can do that."

Jane closes her eyes and drops her head releasing a deep sigh

"I need to use your ladies room" Maura says getting up and heading towards the other end of the apartment while Jane gets up to get another beer.

The light in Jane's bedroom was on and Maura couldn't resist pushing the door open to have a peek on her way back from the bathroom. Jane's bed was made and covered in books and papers, it didn't look like she had slept in it for some time. She probably slept on the couch most nights.

As the door opened further she caught sight of the wall on the other side of the room, it was covered in photos and newspaper clippings scattered from one end to the other. Lines of different colors of wool ran in a disarray of lines jutting in multiple directions with no real order. It was flawless picture of pandemonium.

She recognized some pictures, some of well known figures, some presidents, some the very rich and celebrities. Some words stood out to her written in Jane's writing on pieces of paper. CFR, NSA, CIA, UN.

There was pictures of a few of the fraternity boys from the crime board too, one picture in particular she had not seen before. Young Ricci Russell, tied to a chair. Jane's writing scribbled on post-its around the photo.

She frowns.

Just as she is about to step into the room for a closer look the door slams shut in front of her face. Jane's hand is on the doorknob and she looks surprised. Her face a little white, her eyes wide.

Maura is about to open her mouth when Jane says harshly, "Don't"

"Please don't shut me out Jane" Maura instantly has tears running down her face, the enormity of Jane's struggle finally evident. "Let me help you"

Jane squeezes the doorknob until her knuckles turn white and she rests her forehead against the doorframe, closing her eyes. The next 20 seconds ticks past in what feels like 20 hours. Then Jane turns the doorknob and pushes the door open for Maura to enter. She stays standing in the same spot her arms by her sides, just waiting for whatever comes next.

Maura puts her arms around Jane's waist pulling her close, and turns her face away from the bedroom, Jane has offered free entry, free unrestrained access into something very private. It's not an open invitation to all information, but its a step in the right direction, a start no matter how minutiae...

* * *

...to be continued...


	30. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does Jane have behind closed doors. And why. And how will Maura react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's almost a book O.O  
> How did it get from such a quick basic idea I was going to throw out in under 10 chapters to this massive monstrosity....lol  
> Is it emotional enough for you?

Chapter 30 - Revelations

* * *

 

_Then Jane turns the doorknob and pushes the door open for Maura to enter..._

The wall was a masterpiece of sorts. The amassed content simply mind-boggling. Maura stood in the middle of the dimly lit bedroom, hands on her hips trying to understand the puzzle. Jane had moved to sitting on the bed behind her looking only at her own feet.

What she could see instantly was that Jane had traced most governmental organizations, particularly intelligence agencies, back to their beginnings then to their founders and then linking those founders to the other organizations. It simplified the complexities of the perceived system down to only a few groups and a few names, the people pulling the strings behind the scenes, the 'men behind the curtain' as they say. Maura started skimming across the wall, following the wool as it darted almost daringly in parallels, zigzags, and divergently, following red, then yellow, then green...

Her attention in the area of the CIA found it was connected to the CFR with several colors of wool, and on that post-it stuck to it with a blue drawing pin was a list of scribbled names, none of whom she recognized. The note which had the word CFR on it was pinned onto a page out of a book. The top left of the page had the page number and the title of the book. 'Kissinger'. Half the page was hidden behind the CFR note, but she could read the bottom half of it...

**_"Of some 1600 CFR [Council on Foreign Relations] members, 120 either own or control the nation's major newspapers, magazines, radio and television networks, as well as the most powerful book publishing companies. The interlock with academia is immense._ **

**_... CFR members virtually control the major foundations, whose grants quite often are bestowed on persons or groups tied to the CFR._ **

**_... The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has been under virtual CFR control since its creation._ **

**_... Of the CFR's 1974 membership, about 90 represented the major Wall Street international banking organizations. In addition, presidents, vice-presidents and chairmen of the boards of most of the giant corporations are members of the CFR."_ **

For whatever purposes, it seemed Jane might just have found what she was searching for, at least in part.

The links and ties to organizations were definitely not done by one person alone, and as smart as she knew Jane really was, she also knew she must have had help. Insider help.

_The meetings, the suits..._

It would certainly explain a lot.

Jane, with or without help however, had immersed herself into this objective of which she now appeared somewhat ashamed. Sitting against the back of her bed which she had cleared staring towards the window. She hadn't made eye contact with Maura, nor spoken a word, since allowing her access to the room. Maura had no idea how to comfort Jane, all she could do was attempt to understand.

After looking over the information before her, there were three things that bothered Maura most.

Firstly it bothered her that 'The United Nations' seemed to be one of the central pinnacle points on one side of Jane's wall. The U.N. was set up to help maintain international peace and security, working to prevent conflict, helping with peace negotiations, protection of human rights and also to achieve international co-operation in solving international problems of an economic, social, cultural, or humanitarian character. Or so she believed.

Either this wall had nothing to do with her assumptions of Jane's agenda, or her credence of the United Nations was unfounded. And if it was the latter then the powers given to the member states was frightening to say the least. The other option she didn't want to think about right now, was that Jane had completely lost the plot.

A post-it scribbled in Jane's hand-writing, stuck just above the picture of the U.N. logo reads,

_"It bends governments to its will sometimes by promises, sometimes by threats. It has found its way into every class of Society, and forms an invisible and irresponsible power, an independent government, as it were, within the body corporate of the lawful state." -_ Pope Leo XIII 1902

Secondly she was bothered that Jane had circled some photo's of the larger banks around the world scattered sporadically across the wall...several had red vivid lines as if they had been excluded. Green string lines linked the circled banks to some well known secret societies, and then to news clippings of national events.

'At least 50 mysterious deaths of government officials, bankers, holistic doctors and scientists'.

A highlighted yellow section standing out starkly on the crumpled black and white print,

"The current spate of deaths began not long after 9/11, on November 12, 2001, to be precise. On Nov. 12, Benito Que, 52, was found comatose in the street near the laboratory where he worked at the University of Miami Medical School. He died on Dec. 6."

Maura pursed her lips. The links themselves make no sense to her yet. What did Jane's kidnapping have to do with banks and mysterious deaths.

The other note read, _"A power has risen up in the government greater than the people themselves, consisting of many and various powerful interests, combined in one mass, and held together by the cohesive power of the vast surplus in banks." - Former Vice President and U.S. Senator, John C. Calhoun, May 27, 1836_

The longer she pondered on it the less sense it made to her.

Thirdly, and by far the most disturbing to her, was that photo of Ricci restrained to a chair. She wondered if it was a photo from a fraternity ritual that Jane had somehow gotten hold of. But the hazings themselves didn't seem to have a place on the wall, in fact there were no clippings of anything related to schools or hazings she had seen. And Maura knew for definite that the photo hadn't come from investigating the case itself. Jane hadn't even been at BPD since Maura had given her the note to destroy.

The note, it seemed like years ago that that vital piece of evidence had almost cost Jane her life. It seemed so insignificant in comparison to what she was staring at now. But yet that note was also the beginning of this. It was an incomparable correlation.

* * *

 

Ricci watches the single bead of sweat slide down the side of Jane's moist sweaty face. It glides in front of her ear gathering speed as it becomes larger and disappear under her chin, it is hot in here and they have been there awhile, but he only see's it now that she is so close to him.

Jane presses the cold metal of her gun into Ricci's neck harder, her voice laden with contempt, "What is his name?" Jane growls again leaning closer

Ricci's eyes are large, huge, like saucers, and full of fear. It was a quick turnaround from the snide arrogant look only seconds before Jane pulled her gun on him. She feels the tiniest amount of pleasure in his fear. It is probably the same look, the same fear in Hamish's eyes before he took his last breath. Ricci swallows, his adam's apple moves up and down against the tip of the barrel. Jane can feel the vibration in her hand on the other end of the gun.

"NOW" Jane spits at Ricci who jumps and shudders.

"Smith" the boy cries out, "That's the only name I know him by. You might as well kill me now. I betrayed the brotherhood."

"I _should_ kill you", she seethes at him, "You deserve it you pathetic little jerk."

"Do it" he whimpers.

He doesn't want to die really, but he isn't sure how spilling his guts will affect his life, if anyone found out he had told Jane anything he would be in more trouble than he was in this chair, in this room, with this seemingly crazy woman pointing a gun at him. Brothers are sworn to complete secrecy, keeping secrets was the number one rule, it was better to die for the cause, and always stay true to the oaths. But he had blown it, he was weak and he knew it, he was a bully because he was weak, he had escorts, friends, brothers and juniors do his bidding, soon everyone would know he was weak.

His dad usually always got him out of trouble, sorted out his problems, and the families sizable donations to the school certainly helped him get everything he desired. He was spoilt and he never did anything on his own.

But he was on his own now, it was a learning curve for him, to see who he was without his henchmen, without his father, without his friends, to see if he was a brave and fierce leader like he pretended to be.

He was not, he had no backbone, and right now he was ashamed of himself.

Jane watched him as he quivered and whimpered pathetically in self-pity, she wouldn't kill him, he was a kid.

She just wanted to understand why her life was turned so completely upside down for this sniveling sack of bones. She was angry too, but not at him, he probably had no idea what _'they'_ had even done to her, but every second she was in his presence the anger grew.

She spoke with barred teeth and bitterness in her eyes, "What makes you so special anyway Ricci, why are _they_ so interested in protecting _you_?...in _your_ future?"

His eyes flickered in thought as he contemplates whether the truth would end up with a bullet in his skull or with her sympathy of him. He can't decide. He is sure though that if he lies Jane will somehow know, and it won't be good for him. And daddy dearest isn't here right now to make Jane untie him and leave him alone.

* * *

 

There was one note that seemed really out of place, maybe it was the color of the writing maybe the location of it, she will never remember exactly why she was drawn to it, she read it carefully

'The root of all power is money and with enough money a small band of men can greatly influence a huge mob of fools - Texe Marrs'.

That's when Maura saw it, really saw it, the thing she had been staring at suddenly come together, or spread out, she wasn't sure which.

It was like those stereogram pictures in the mall, repetitive patterns that looked like a meadow of sunflowers, that you stare at for hours and hours and hours, and suddenly it blurs and becomes clear again but now a 3D meadow with 3D butterflies jumping out at you and three 3D fawns playing together.

Dark wool lines so interwoven, so much of it, diverging from multiple points, that it never stood out until you saw it, then it became all you could see. The whole image made up of smaller parts, it began to flash across her mind like spatial imagery. The very top of the wall stated, 'Secret Brotherhood - A thousand points of light', from there black lines of wool stretching for miles away from it, like an octopus, it's black wool legs touching everything in it path, into ever single thing on the wall either directly or indirectly.

The wool lines moving from item to item back and forth, snaked across the wall with seemingly no order, up, down, around, crossing themselves into spiraled loops like a spiderweb, pictures and words like flies caught inside an elaborate web, her eyes and mind trying to find a pattern amongst the chaos ...Red Cross / Red Shield / Rothschild - Goebels - Albert Pike - Bilderbergers - Bohemian Grove - Jesuits - Vatican - Opus Dei - Jacques de Molay - Knights Templar - Kissinger - Adam Weishaupt - Illuminati - KGB - CIA - George Bush - Bonesmen - Rockefeller - G7/8/9 - Five eyes - World Health Organization - Texas Oil - JFK - Jekyll Island - Protocols of the elders of Zion - Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family - Crown - City of London - Monsanto - SMOM - League of Nations/United Nations - CFR - NATO - Trilateral Commission - IMF - Federal Reserve - Aspen Institute - Lucis Trust - Club of Rome - Magic - New Age - Alice Bailey - Kaballah - Maitraya - Lucifer - Anton Lavey - Manly P. Hall - Morals and Dogma - Council of 13 - Norvus Ordo Seclorum.

There was no beggining and no end. But it was all connected, every last piece down to the tiniest, linked in skillful dissection.

There is no way Maura could describe the next few minutes, there is no graph or chart or scientific experiment that can explain the intricate workings of a brain when it is bombarded with so much confounding information at one time.

Maura's defense mechanisms began to collapse instantly, those self made protections we create within us to keep us safe and to meet our needs. Her emotions switching at random. Disbelief, shock, anger, disbelief, betrayal, fear, horror, sadness, hurt. U

nsure if her mind wanted to fight or flee while her body remained motionless, unmoving, calm as if completely unaware of the war going on somewhere within itself. The desertion of old beliefs, the ideas presented by society and the consequences of opposition to it. The outside world Maura knew began to unravel as she began to question everything she thought she _knew_ , all of it...and she began to feel nauseated, the wall invading her mind relentlessly, saturating her, the edges of her vision narrowing, the giant black spiderweb blurring as it seemed to move towards her, she was overwhelmed, sickeningly so.

The very idea of such a monstrous worldwide conspiracy disturbs even the bravest man or woman, shatters comfort zones. The security of the known world shattered into a million pieces never to be put back together the same way, leaving a person emotionally exposed and raw.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there with her eyes closed trying to regain some semblance of order, of control, trying to compartmentalize, to give her brain any room to breathe, to process.

She felt numb with anxiety, she felt sick.

Then she felt Jane's arms gently slide around her middle pulling her backwards toward the bed. How could Jane know that she was close to transient loss of consciousness.

She relaxed back on the bed against Jane's body and was glad Jane didn't let go but held her tightly resting her chin and cheek against Maura's shoulder. The comfort alone calmed her. That it was Jane, exceedingly more.

"I don't understand", Maura uttered breathlessly

Jane squeezed her tighter unsure what to say, unsure how much Maura understood, believed even. Also unsure if Maura was referring to her gallimaufry achievement on the wall or referring to the reason that she had been turning white and her legs barely supporting her.

They stayed cuddled together for some time, Maura staring at the wall blankly, unconsciously fiddling with Jane's wrist strap with one hand and stroking circles on Jane's forearm with the other and Jane content just holding Maura tightly against her body.

* * *

 

_Joe Friday :_ I am NOT deceived

_1nC0gn1t0 :_ Self-deception, the tendency to _want_ to believe in the lie, to _want_ to remain convinced 'all-is-well' regardless of the evidence to the contrary, it's the greatest weapon they have against us. Truth that affects security or rattles nerves is truth that must be rejected. Essentially there are two choices when one, after much research, finds an inconvenient truth...to outrightly reject the truth itself, or accept it along with the ramifications and complications that come along with it.

_Joe Friday :_ I _accept_ the truth. But I think you're wrong about some of this...stuff...some of these conspiracies. You can't be right. Surely people would _know_.

_1nC0gn1t0 :_ Ego plays a huge rule in dismissal of truth also. To realize we, even the smartest among us, has been somewhat naive, has been duped. It's a really hard thing to face. Humbling even. But when you realize that this agenda has been at play for hundreds of years almost completely uninterrupted, although disturbing by that merit alone, means we are not alone in being deceived. Then you can move from disbelief and hurt to anger and indignation.

_Joe Friday :_ I don't have an _ego_ here. Has no-one tried to stop it? To warn people? To wake them up?

_1nC0gn1t0 :_ I almost wish I could say no one has tried to stop it. Many many have, but sadly many don't want to wake up, and those that DO expose the secret agendas usually end up paying for it...with their life. And often their sacrifice is in vain, that book they wrote read only by a few, that blog they posted or video they put online, shut down or deleted. Their good name smeared by a heinous lie. Their jobs taken away, bankrupted, destroyed.

_Joe Friday :_ These chats don't ever make me feel better about the world, or my life

_1nC0gn1t0 :_ Were they meant to?

_Joe Friday :_ Can _we_ stop them, can _I_ do anything against the powerful, evil and rich people?

_1nC0gn1t0 :_ Probably not. Their tentacles are everywhere. But it is possible to fight back...still. They will continue faster and stronger if no one opposes them. Exposing them, bringing it into the light, that _we_ can do. And when the light shines on cockroaches they scurry away and hide too. Right now they believe they are unseen, unknown, all powerful and invincible...

_Joe Friday : '_ The simple act of a courageous individual is to not take part in the lie, one word of truth outweighs the World'. Alexander Solzhenitsyn said that.

_1nC0gn1t0 :_ And the truth shall set you free...

* * *

 

 _"The real menace of our republic is this invisible government which like a giant octopus sprawls its slimy length over city, state and nation._  
Like the octopus of real life, it operates under cover of a self created screen...  
At the head of this octopus are the Rockefeller Standard Oil interests and a small group of powerful banking houses generally referred to as international bankers.  
The little coterie of powerful international bankers virtually run the United States government for their own selfish purposes. They practically control both political parties." - John F. Hylan - New York City Mayor, 1922

* * *

 

...to be continued...

 


	31. Confessions

Chapter 31 - Confessions

* * *

 

"You deserve better than me, Maura" It seemed random in the silence, the first words uttered by Jane in hours, a resulting conclusion based on days, maybe weeks, of unspoken contemplation, and the body against her own that had finally stopped shivering.

Maura who was lost in her own thoughts takes a moment to feel the surprise from the despairing confession.

She pulls away from Jane to turn to face her, frowning, staring. Jane looks back at her, eyes and mouth downturned, sadness across her features, her whole body shows it, slumped shoulders, gaunt worried face. Her two worlds had collided, her safe world with Maura and her dangerous world protecting her.

"I don't want better Jane, I just want _you_." she tries to look soft and unhurt and hide everything else, and she succeeds, to Jane she looks wonderfully soft and caring making saying her next words even harder.

Since Maura arrived at her door she had been battling guilt. She knew she has been putting Maura through hell by distancing herself, and Maura's arrival confirmed how much she was suffering. And now she has allowed Maura into her world and it created a new kind of hell for her. She didn't know how she expected Maura to react, she so desperately wanted Maura to be apart of this, for her sake, for her comfort, because of her loneliness. It was selfish. The other part of her expected, or hoped, Maura would think it was a joke, something silly and unimportant and not be affected by it, she had once again underestimated Maura's intellect. Jane looked down from Maura's eyes, she felt guilty and broken inside and now could have broken her friend too. Although Maura wasn't shaking like a leaf anymore she still wasn't her usual self.

_She does deserve to be safe_

"You deserve to be safe Maur" her voice is filled is with regret and finality. She reaches up to Maura's neck and runs her fingers along the faint scar still visible there. The phrase looping in her head uncontrollably now, like it is the only known factor, _Your Maura, she does deserve to be safe,_ unknown to Jane it's a truth they had fed her, they planted the thought, the seed into her consciousness and it took root through the pain and fear, and now it haunted her like a nightmare. An unseen element controlling her every action.

"I don't want you in danger. and..."

"Jane?"

"I..."

Maura leans away from Jane and turns to kiss her lips gently but it is not fully reciprocated, "It's ok sweetie, you can tell me anything"

Jane takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry Maura, I can't be with you, I can't put you in danger. It is selfish of me, you deserve to be safe..." A sob escapes her lips, as strong as she tries to be she can't keep it up, "...I just don't think this is a good idea anymore."

Maura freezes, It is unexpected and shocking especially while Jane holds her so closely like she is, "Why Jane?" she sniffs dejectedly

Jane can't look at Maura so she stares at her shoulder, the guilt is eating her alive, added guilt at the hurt she has now created, "I'm not the same person I was. I...I don't know who I am anymore."

"Jane, you are still you, and I still love you. Please don't run away from me."

For a moment Jane smiles, then it vanishes again, "I have done things Maura, things I can't tell you about. Things I am going to keep doing. I don't want you to see me...like this...when I am doing these things, things I have to do...I don't want you to see _me_.."

Maura stares at Jane frowning softly tilting her head in confusion, then she places her fingers under Jane's chin and tilts Jane's head up till their eyes meet.

"There are two things I need to say Jane..." Maura's tone is firm and even despite the secretions from her uncontrolled lacrimal gland, "Firstly. This...us...I would be in more danger emotionally without you than physically with you." Jane studies Maura's face waiting patiently, hoping the second half will help the first make sense. "Secondly, I know what you are doing, and I don't care. I know the risks, I want to face them with you. Let it be my choice at least, don't take that from me. Respect me in that way."

Jane frowns, "I am _not_ good for you, this..." she gestures to the wall, "This is not good for you. This..." she waves her arm at herself hovering over some cuts and bruises for emphasis, "...this is not good for you." she whispers trying desperately to keep up her resolution to give Maura a better chance at life...without her.

Maura's face looks like her heart just broke, her bottom lip quivers and she bows her head

"Actually Jane, I think it is _me_ that isn't good for you... If I was good enough then _you_ would be ok. You would be able to talk to me, to let me in and tell me what happened to you, what's happening to you. You wouldn't need to keep all this from me." She bites her bottom lip before looking up again into Jane's eyes, fresh tears running down her cheeks.

"Don't say that. Don't ever ever say that." Jane growls, "It's not true. You are enough, you're better than good enough. You have been nothing but perfect for me" a single tear runs down her face as she speaks. Unsure how the table flipped from wanting to end their relationship for Maura's sake, she now desperately want's Maura to feel deserving of it. She cups Maura's face gently, holding in her own emotions by biting her lip, she refuses to add to the burden Maura carries. She strokes Maura's cheek with her thumb looking deeply into wet green eyes, and she leans in to kiss Maura gently, trying to convey her needs and that those needs are met by Maura alone.

Pulling away again but just enough to speak "I'm tired of hurting you Maura. You deserve to be loved and cared for, you deserve everything good in this world. And what I am doing..." She can't finish her sentence, her throat is too sore, her tongue too dry, her chest too tight.

"You give me all that Jane. I love _you_ , whatever you do, however you come. Let me help you, I miss you so much sometimes I feel like i'm dying"

Jane can't help but smile, "Thats not only unscientific Maur, it's also ridiculous", she kisses Maura softly on the cheek.

"I miss you, I miss working together" Maura sighs

"With your genius brain by my side I'd probably have solved this a lot quicker"

"More quickly, Jane," she corrects before adding, "So please...please let me in..."

* * *

 

Ricci decides the truth is best, but he will also divulge as little as possible, "I'm a 7th generational descendant of William Huntington Russell cousin of Samuel Wadsworth Russell."

"So what?" Jane frowns at him impatiently

"Samuel founded Russell and Co., the most powerful American merchant house in China for half of the 19th Century. He amassed a fortune in the opium trade. William was a co-founder and funder of the Skull and Bones Society."

Jane glares at him, "Explain why _that's_ even relevant" she was getting annoyed at him now.

Ricci frowns back at her equally annoyed, convinced he was being extraordinarily clear and wondering if Jane knew what she was doing at all, "It's not what you know, it's _who_ you know. Or more importantly...who your bloodline is." His face began to change from fear to pride, "My bloodline is powerful, full of powerful men with wealth and position. I am a descendant of an elite bloodline. I am important," his proud face drops again, "I don't have a choice, I have a legacy to live up too. I am part of the club by lineage and blood. And they have taken an oath to favor their own kind."

"Blood, power and money."

"You really should have left it alone", Ricci adds, it sounds like a threat but his face is full of sadness

Jane swallows hard pulling the gun back a fraction from him, "I was doing my _job_. None of this would have happened if you had left Hamish alone."

"Probably", he mutters his voice heavy with remorse, "It _was_ an accident though. But my family isn't to be messed with. Most people ignore things that go on because it's safer. They do not instigate trouble and they leave something alone if it might cause trouble. It's a big club with long reach."

"So you've said" Jane steps back and holsters her gun wondering what to do with him now

"I won't say anything to anyone about this"

The comment surprises her. She assumed this act would have her in particularly deep trouble. She had gone in knowing the risks and was fully prepared to live with the consequences to her. She had removed Maura and her family from her life enough by now that she was sure they wouldn't have been implicated. If interviewing this kid and the school had ended up with a result of torture, she figured an interrogation at gunpoint would have ended her up six feet under. "No?" she questions

"No," he replies, "I'd rather this situation right now be kept us under wraps for my own sake. If no one knows it's better for me. Whatever happened to you was bad and I'm sorry, but what would happen to me would be far far worse."

Jane tries to not feel sorry for this scared 17 year old kid that smells like urine. But she does. "You don't know that, you don't know what they did to me." she chokes out, she can't help it. In a way she want's him to know how his influence has changed her, ruined her. But she also knows he is just a kid and had no control of what was done for him, or more so _because_ of him.

"I know what they'll do to _me_. Blood is thick but not when it comes to betraying secrets."

Jane nods, he knows how deep it goes, he has grown up within the walls of the esoteric institutes, he knows their secrets, she on the other hand is still learning.

"The judge, he was in the club too?"

Ricci looks down, confirming the allegation

"The principle?"

Silence

* * *

 

Jane reaches over to gently brush a strand of hair off Maura's face, "Hamish was going to expose them and going to get them shut down for all the things they had done. Their plan was to strip him naked and parade him around the school and embarrass him into silence. Then they found his cocaine. They decided to inject him with it. Hamish charged them knocking Oliver over and he tried to run away, and they chased him. Hamish ran up onto the rooftop and was trapped there. One of them had left the door unlocked for a ritual they were going to do later that night."

Maura nods her eyes wide, waiting for more.

It was mutually decided between them to begin where every good story usually does, at the beginning. Jane was taking it extra slow, trying not to overwhelm Maura again and kept checking every few minutes that she was alright. At the end of the story they would need to decide where to go from there, what was next, and mostly what Maura wanted to do.

"They all surrounded Hamish laughing at him and tried to inject him again. They wanted him to look unstable, crazy, drugged. Then they were going to take him to hospital. They figured if he was a drug addict or user no one would believe what he said about Phi Kappa Beta."

Jane fights to keep her face serious. Looking at Maura's shocked face and wide opened mouth reminds her of her brother's expressions when she used to read them scary bedtime stories about pirates.

"Hamish fought them and they couldn't inject him in this arms so they just jabbed it in his shoulder. Hamish had laughed and said he would have them all arrested and he had the proof. Angrily they jabbed the rest in his leg. They saw his eyes dilate instantly and he just stepped backwards over the edge. Ricci said it happened so fast that no-one even had the chance to grab him. Then they carried him to middle of campus hoping to keep the fraternities dorm house separate from his death."

Maura gasps, "And...Ricci just told you all this?"

"Yes. But you can't tell anyone. It would kind of...erm, _definitely_...be considered a coerced confession...mainly the 'at gunpoint' part." She watched Maura's face, the last statement didn't appear to shock her anymore than the rest so she carried on, revealing the whole thing at once she hoped would be like pulling off a bandaid, " Also Hamish's father was beaten badly during his rushing and he had ended up in hospital, he was going to sue the school so Phi Kappa Beta had paid him off to keep him quiet. It cost them a lot of money and I think they were kind of scared of it coming back on them later. So when Hamish arrived at the school and they realized who he was...then Hamish had threatened to expose them also, well...they..."

"They killed him." Maura finishes unperturbed, "Why didn't you tell me before now Jane?"

"Well...I didn't really want to have to explain how I found out. And I didn't want you involved again. Plus I might have had better things to do when I was with you." She winks at Maura who blushes scarlet.

Jane licks her lips and after what feels like an eternity, she takes Maura's lips in her own and seals her love with a long gentle kiss before pulling away slowly.

Maura smiles, sad that it ended so quickly but knowing it wouldn't be their last kiss either, "So how did it get from Hamish to your rather frightening wall?"

Jane half smiles, revealing in the joy of finally sharing this, sure Maura is ready, but prepared to stop if it gets too much, "I call it 'The Web'." Jane spreads her arms wide as she says it for the added visual dynamic.

"Like the internet? The world wide _web_?" Maura queries raising both eyebrows

Jane pouts slightly, "Yeah,ok. What about 'The Octopus'?" Mimicking the exact same arm movement sets Maura off into a fit of giggles.

"The Wall' is fine I guess" Jane deadpans before slowly grinning. She is so grateful to see Maura laughing and relaxed.

"I really want to know about the baseball bat." Maura whispers and sighs running her hand down Jane's torso where the bruise had once been, the gentle touch eliciting a shiver from Jane.

"Training" Jane half shrugs pulling Maura closer to her, "Weapons training."

Maura sits up in surprise, "Weapons training..with a baseball bat? That doesn't sound like any training I've ever heard of. Was it a modified form of Escrima or Kali or Bojutsu?"

Jane realizes she is caught, typical of Maura to know more about weapons and training than her, she mumbles under her breath hoping miraculously that Maura won't hear, "Street-fighting."

"Jane" Maura exclaims, you could have been killed. Jane just shows her dimples, it's always a great distraction.

Maura wraps her arms around Jane settling back in, "Tell me more." is the sleepy whisper.

Jane glances at the time, its 10:20pm, there is much more to discuss but for now it's time for Maura to rest. Jane snuggles into Maura and shifts them both down into the bed so they are more comfortable before whispering her response to Maura, "Tomorrow my love."

* * *

 

Maura wakes up as Jane is almost fully clothed and getting ready to sneak out, she had been as quiet as she could but in the low light and with all the papers and books scattered all over the floor of her room she had a difficult time.

"Where are you going? I miss you when you leave." she sounds a little panicked amongst the sleepiness, like she fears Jane won't come back at all.

Jane leans over the bed a gives Maura a chaste kiss on her lips. Then she rests her forehead against Maura's.

"Hi honey" She whispers

Maura can't help but smile, "Hi beautiful."

"Go back to sleep, it's late."

"You aren't going to tell me are you?" She yawns and wraps her arms around Jane pulling her down on top holding her firmly so she can't leave.

Jane nuzzles Maura's neck and leaves a few gentle kisses there, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Please stay" she sleepily begs Jane

Jane pulls away slowly and watches Maura, she is sleepy and gorgeous. She would love nothing more than to climb back into her warm bed, wrap her arms around Maura and never leave. But she a rather pressing mission, and time is running out.

"I will be back before you know it," she grins, "I love you Maura" she places a gentle loving kiss on the corner of Maura's mouth. Maura is almost asleep again and lets her go murmuring, "Me too."

* * *

 

"Don't touch me you asshole" she growled stepping backwards out of his reach and moving closer to the doorway. She could barely stand to be in the same room with him let alone having his filthy slimy fingers anywhere near her.

"I don't know anything about you. I...I don't know what you want" he tries again this time keeping his hands close to himself

Jane glared at him, "Good. Now you know what it feels like to loose all control. To not know if you'll live or die and why. Shall I keep you forced into that unknown reality for four days like you did to me?"

"You have the wrong person. I didn't do anything."

Jane looks him up and down as he sits in his fancy leather office chair at his expensive mahogany desk in his expensive suit and shoes with his fancy gold name plaque on the desk and his title on the door. He looks perplexed, mainly he can't figure out how she got past security into his office undetected but he will make sure heads roll.

"You authorize special intelligence operations. Supposedly, you're the 'go-to-guy' around here." She states it in a matter of fact way using her fingers to air quote 'go-to-guy'. It isn't really a question but he is unwilling to comment anyway, he stares at her trying to figure out her agenda. He can tell she's not afraid by her body language, she leans against the wall in all her confidence. Dressed in black steel capped boots and cargo pants, black gloves and a cap that shadows most of her face and a loose black button up shirt with a tank top underneath. He initially guesses military, maybe the wife of a disgruntled veteran, or a widower that wasn't told of her husbands death. She has her wrists wrapped with black tape and streaks of black face paint on her cheeks and forehead like she's just come from a spectator sports match or army training which confuses him more. Her black curly hair falling around her face and over her shoulders like a waterfall and a utility belt that looks rather healthy with unknown supplies. Her face is calm as she sizes him up vigilantly. He starts to squirm as her dark brown eyes seemingly pierce intrusively into the darkest part of his mind.

"What do you want?" He finally asks annoyed, finding the tension unbearable.

Jane unfolds her arms and walks directly towards him stopping where the desk refuses her passage. She spreads her fingers placing her palms on the centre of the desk and leaning forward until her nose was only inches from his, breathing out slowly, taking her time. He doesn't shy away, refuses to give up any perceived power but keeping distance and eye contact. Trying to hide that his neck and palms are perspiring.

She wasn't afraid of him, he was just a mouthpiece, he was a words man, he couldn't fight her, stop her from hurting him, Hhs sword was a pen, his power the wave of his hand, he was second in command in the senators office, he was the deputy secretary and a professional desk jockey, or at least his cover was...who knows what his true title might be.

"For starters" Jane growls, "I want you to strip."

His mouth drops open and his eyes dart around the room. She doesn't appear armed but this is certainly no prank.

He snickers at the absurdity and Jane leans even closer, he holds his breath afraid any sudden movements might be too much for his already pounding heart, he isn't sure he can keep up his fearless facade much longer. In one quick move Jane grasps his silk stripped tie pulling it straight down onto the desk lurching him facedown with it until he is almost able to kiss her hand...her other hand pulls out a very sharp boning knife from her belt sheath and deftly stabs his tie into the desk centimeters from her own hand.

"Fuck" he breathes in surprise at the knife that is inches from his face embedded about 10 millimeters into the solid wood, wondering momentarily if he will require a new pair of underpants. Jane stands up straight smiling and crosses her arms, "Strip" she demands calmly.

He loosens his tie not taking his eyes off Jane and slips it over his head leaving it attached to his desk. Then removes his shirt, undershirt, shoes and pants. He looks over Jane's shoulder again hoping some staff member is miraculously working at 2am in the morning or a cleaner that will interrupt this insanity. The whole floor is empty. He reaches down to remove his boxer shorts

"Stop" She barks, "Eww, damn, that's enough." She removes the knife wedged into his desk by wiggling it side to side. "Sit." He does, the leather chair squeaking with the friction of his bare skin.

"Kick your clothes away" she demands and he again silently complies.

Jane takes out her phone, quickly snapping a few pictures of the man in only his boxers and socks. Then she moves around the back of the chair behind him so he can't see her face "Where are all the confidential files you have on operations in Boston?"

The man scoffs, "There are hundreds, they're archived. You'll never get to them."

Jane moves the knife and rests it on his shoulder, the light shimmering off the blade out the corner of his eye.

She leans towards his ear, "The ones you have here will do"

He looks towards his right at the bank of filing cabinets, the latest classified documents for _official_ eyes only, it takes him only a moment to contemplate and decide the best course of action, "You're a dead woman, they will come after you and murder you and everyone you know and everyone you care about."

"And you'll be a dead man in about 30 seconds if you don't unlock those, and that-" she retorts pointing the tip of the blade towards the top drawer of his office desk.

"You won't get away with this you _bitch_ " he snarls despite feeling the stinging sensation of the edge of the blade digging into his shoulder.

"Are you going to stop me?" Jane laughs her voice dropping an octave lower, "Last chance slimebag"...

* * *

 

...to be continued...


	32. Blackmail

Chapter 32 - Blackmail

* * *

 

_"Are you going to stop me?" Jane laughs her voice dropping an octave lower, "Last chance slimebag"..._

She leaves quickly, her heart pounding heavily in her chest, her arms somehow clutching a pile of papers, too shaken to put them in her backpack. She had just bolted and miraculously hadn't dropped anything. Her pretend confidence had left her the moment she had slammed his office door.

Her car turns over easily a block away from the building and she drives home realizing she is biting her lip so hard she's almost drawn blood and that she's driving at least 10miles over the limit,

_slow down, relax_

Getting pulled over would be very bad, a late night cop questioning her, she gave up her badge months ago so has no chance of getting off a ticket and right now she wants to get off the road in case they come after her.

Helicopters like giant black locusts, silent until they are right above you, looking down at you. She has seen them before, once, she would rather not see them again, ever.

She checks her rear vision mirror for the hundredth time expecting flashing of lights and she scans the skies for the millionth time, just waiting for the feds to come after her. A moment later she finds herself biting her lip and speeding again.

_calm down Jane, breathe, be calm_

Finally she calms herself enough to take in a full breath of air. It's almost heavenly in the chaos of her mind.

Less than 15 minutes from her meeting point, that's when she catches a glimpse of headlights behind her, tailing her some distance off. It was fine before where there was a reasonable amount of traffic, but here in the outskirts of town she didn't expect anyone. She turns right and watches behind, the car turns right also. She tries two sequential lefts coming close to where she started, the car behind again mimicking hers. It is no coincidence, she has a tail.

"Shit."

Her heart is pounding again this time in her ears and throat. She squints into the rear view mirror trying to figure out the car type from it shape, the lights emanating from it too bright. It's not the feds, the headlights aren't fancy enough, not led, just plain incandescent.

But still, she he has to loose it...now...

She speeds up for the next 100 meters or so, _almost 88mph_ , she half smiles, she can almost hear the back to the future theme tune in the back of her mind.

She had created enough space between them and takes the next corner as fast as possible while still keeping control, it is a skilled turn just like in the movies, the tires squeal slightly and the stack of papers slides almost together across the seat towards the passenger door. If she hadn't been so busy right now she would have fist pumped the air.

She turns her headlights off with a flick of her wrist and spins the wheel again, blindly turning into an ally she knows well without slowing down.

15 meters in she is tucked almost invisibly behind a building, she slams the hand-break on so hard she has to throw her arm up so she doesn't collide with the steering wheel.

_Seatbelt next time_

It's the type of stop that takes rubber off the wheels. The squeal like a skinned cat echoing into the dark night and it leaves a foul smell in the air as a faint drift of smoke rises from the pavement to the side mirrors before disepating completely.

She turns the car off fully and tries to breath again, she only needs enough air to focus.

_Breathe..._

A moment later the car following her passes the ally entrance, it's a light coloured hatchback, she's sure she has seen it before outside her apartment. The car doesn't slow or stop but carries on to the next corner out of her view. _Five minutes..._

She prudently stuffs all the papers into her backpack, just incase she has go on foot and watches the rear view mirror breathing short sharp breaths. _Four minutes..._

Clutching the wheel with one hand she fumbles for her phone with the other.

She has to change the plans incase the car comes back, and even if it doesn't.

_Change of plans, tail. meet later_

She looks down at her phone, it says 'delivered' under her message. She tucks it away in her pocket again. _Three minutes..._

She see's her reflection in the mirror, the flicker of fear in her own eye's. For a second she wonders quickly where the color in her face went.

_Two minutes..._ no movement, no cars doubled back. The road is dead, cold, empty. She growls releasing her frustration, she has to get to Maura, make sure she is safe.

_One minute.._.She checks her phone, nothing. She squeezes the wheel again tightly with both hands and watches as her knuckles lighten a little. She clenches her Jaw. It's the longest minute of her life.

_Go..._ She starts the car and drives slowly forward to the other end of the ally before turning her lights on and pulling out onto the main road.

_Maura_

She will go home, and pack, and get Maura...

* * *

 

Maura is standing leaning against the bedroom door in only her undergarments stifling a yawn when Jane dumps the backpack heavily on the table. She'd blown into the apartment like a tornado awakening the slumbering doctor.

"What's that?" Maura asks pointing at the backpack almost fully awake now, "And what's on you face?"

Jane moves around the apartment checking all the windows are secured and blinds are tightly drawn grabbing items as quickly as she goes, "We have to go, now. I have another place to stay."

Maura doesn't move, 'Why?" she looks confused

Jane stops her flustering and looks up at her, "I was followed, It's weird because I was so careful." She shrugs and goes back to packing a bag

"What about the Wall?" Maura frowns, she wanted to study it more, she wanted to understand it, to see it how Jane saw it.

Jane looks confused now, "What about it?"

"We can't just leave it here."

"Well it won't fit in my suitcase either." Jane smirks, a moment of her old self glimpsing through, just a moment before its gone replaced by deep lines of concern

"Are you _sure_ you were being followed?" Maura walks over to the window and peeps out scanning the area, it is brightly lit with street lights.

Jane pauses and looks up at her incredulously, "Yeah Maur, I kinda _know_ when I'm being followed. Careful, they might see you."

Maura see's headlights on a car turn off just across the road and up a few cars. No-one gets out.

Jane continues, "I've seen it before too, here, its a..."

"Grey Toyota hatchback" they say in unison.

Jane drops the items she is holding and rushes to the window pushing Maura away from it and pulling Maura behind her protectively with her arm. She signals for Maura to be quiet before pulling out her gun and using the tip of the barrel to pull back the curtain peeking out in the direction Maura had just been looking.

"Damn it. We'll have to take the fire escape." She growls rushing back to the bag she dropped, "Hurry up and put some clothes on will you."

Maura stands still, stunned, but thinking, "Fire escape." She moves back towards the window to look out again. _Fire escape_.

In her mind she replays a conversation from yesterday, Dan's gruff voice at the dirty robber,

_"...outside Jane's apartment at midnight and she came outside down the fire escape and went across the road to the car..."_

"No Maura. Get back. It's not safe." Jane barks at her, "Stay away from the windows."

Maura strides to the couch unfazed by Jane's comment and retrieves her handbag she had left there last night, fetching her cellphone from inside.

Jane watches her mouth slightly open, mostly annoyed that Maura isn't preparing to escape right at this crucial time, "Maura we _really_ have to go, I just pinched a whole bunch of very _very_ classified documents, and _you're_ in your underwear." she whines at her friend.

Maura doesn't respond as she finishes typing a text message and presses send then appears to hold her breath waiting.

Jane can't help but stare, mystified at the scene before her, the stunningly beautiful woman standing in the middle of her crappy lounge in only skimpy white underpants and a _very_ revealing singlet, so much soft ivory skin glowing in the dim lighting, her blonde hair falling messily all around her neck and shoulders shining where the light touches it. She is clutching her phone away from her staring at the screen stiffly in anticipation like it's a time bomb about to go off. She looks so incredibly sexy that Jane has to fight herself to not just jump over the back of the couch and just take her right there. Her heart is palpitating and she can't now tell if it's from chemicals or fear.

Her brain says run and her heart says stay.

Maura still doesn't move and Jane is trying to come up with a new emergency plan.

Maura wasn't even _meant_ to be here tonight. Jane had gone sleep during the early afternoon to be rested enough for the mission that night, she was to wake at 10pm and get prepared which would take about two hours. She would leave at midnight and arrive at the location at 1am taking the long route. She had the access codes for the day's alarms and a temporary fake ID card for entry courtesy of Shannon. But the building codes would change at 5am so she had a limited time frame. The deputy secretary would be there from 1am to after 2am for a few overseas conference calls, according to the schedule in the receptionists computer they had hacked earlier that week. She would take the back stairs and enter with the swipe card on the back side of the building that was unguarded, she had the building blueprints to get her to the 10th floor, the quickest route was to take the left wing corridor and the service elevator and that would also avoid any guards. Once on the 10th floor, his door was at the end of the hall. She would wait until he was off the phone before making her entrance.

But Maura had arrived at around 7pm and they had talked until Maura had fallen asleep at 10:35pm in her arms and she herself hadn't got up until just after 11pm not wanting to disturb Maura but also enjoying the closeness. She had to rush to get ready to leave and didn't leave until 12:25pm. Because of this she had gone directly to the location and so whoever followed her had likely started at her apartment. It was good, maybe, it wasn't the Fed's or spooks anyway. Shannon had managed to alter her records so her name didn't match her apartment or bank accounts anyway. She was very close to becoming a ghost like the people she had been working with. But she would have been wise to move to a new location completely. The reason she didn't was that her family would completely freak out and be unforgivably hurt. She growls, for the first time in weeks she isn't sure what to do, there is no protocol for this.

_Maybe I could caveman style knock Maura out and drag her down the fire escape. It would be difficult, although she'd probably kill me if I did plus it's freezing outside and there's no time to dress her, or ~_

"It's ok,' Maura squeals with delight, "You aren't being followed. Well, I mean you were being followed..." she is so flustered with excitement and relief she can't even explain so she holds out her phone for Jane to read instead, "..by _me_."

_"Dan, are you at Jane's?"_

_"Yes"_

_"Do you drive a grey Toyota hatchback?"_

_"Yes. Maura. Why?"_

Jane stares at Maura's phone her mouth slightly open. It takes several moments for her heart to calm down and relief to take over. Then she smirks at Maura finding it rather comical. Maura smirks back not nearly as embarrassed as she should be. Jane pulls the sexy half naked woman into a hug, as she lets out a sigh of relief.

After a few moments Maura who is trapped in Jane's tight embrace murmurs against her chest, "Wait, you _stole_ government files?"

"What?" Jane pulls away, " Oh, just a few" she smiles coyly

Maura frowns back, "How are you so calm about this, won't they come...um..."

The pause is deafening, it's one of the reasons Jane only goes to Maura's once a week, to avoid these awkward moments

"You can say it Maura."

But things are different now...right...

Maura bites her lip before finishing the sentence, "Won't they come after you...again?"

Jane licks her lips in thought thinking for a moment, "If they were going to, they would have by now."

"You came back here for me didn't you? You wouldn't have came back here otherwise."

Jane nods confirming this, she is constantly in awe of the mind of Maura, how quick she is at putting the pieces together, "However..." a grin creeps across Jane's face, "I was prepared. I have leverage."

* * *

 

Jane is standing in front of him now, the papers she wanted on the desk behind her, him seated in his chair again, "I just sent the photo's I took of you to a friend," Jane turns her phone around so the assistant advisor to the senate could see them, him in only his boxer shorts, "Anything happens to me and they will be sent automatically to your wife along with a _long_ list names belonging to your mistresses that can be easily verified. You've been a bit of a naughty boy haven't you."

It's that look between fear and contempt that is the hardest to describe, she is surprised the vein on his head hasn't popped it's pounding so hard, but Jane has made her point clear and she should go soon.

"Also know that I have poked around your history and financials, and there a quite a few skeletons in your closet. Insider trading. Gambling. Bribery. Extortion. And I only scratched the surface. Imagine what the press would say if it some documents were leaked to them."

* * *

 

"You didn't" The shock clear in Maura's face, the surprise in her voice that rang out high pitched in the otherwise silent room.

"Not all the papers are for me." It sounds like a lame excuse out loud and Jane bites her lip and looks down. Maybe she should have stuck to telling Maura the story in order instead of jumping this far ahead, this was unplanned however. She never planned to tell Maura about the doctor she knocked out either, this incident probably should have been excluded also.

It was easy for her to excuse her own behavior, it got easier every day as she became desensitized to the things she was doing, excusing herself that she _had_ to do it, that she wasn't doing anything worse than they would do to her, that _they_ did evil things on a daily basis, and that she was helping somehow.

But Maura looking at her like that, judgmental, shocked...no horrified. Her reasoning suddenly fell apart, what she had done was inexcusable, and Maura didn't even know half of it. She hadn't even explained in details what happened with Ricci.

She rubbed the scars on her hands in shame. Suddenly she was afraid, that after all this she would loose Maura because of who she had become. She had tried to warn Maura earlier about the things she did...but maybe facing it in reality and hearing the details was different.

"Maur, what are you thinking? Please talk to me..."

She realized, now, possibly too late, how awful it would have been if Maura had agreed to end it as she proposed last night. The thing she thought she wanted then she no longer hoped for and now she might not have a choice. Again she was being selfish. But she felt the loss as if it had happened and it might just break her

"Please Maur," she choked out, tears free falling down her face.

* * *

 

_"The world is governed by very different personages from what is imagined by those who are not behind the scenes.  
The governments of the present day have to deal not merely with other governments, with emperors, kings and ministers, but also with the secret societies which have everywhere their unscrupulous agents, and can at the last moment upset all the governments' plans." Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli of England - In his political book "Coningsby", 1844_

* * *

_...to be continued..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments and support.  
> I think this might be my favourite chapter :)  
> Am dreading the next few tho lol


	33. Divided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a rather long chapter...enjoy

Chapter 33 - Divided

* * *

_"Please Maur," she choked out, tears free falling down her face..._

 

Maura stares at Jane, she blinks on the outside. On the inside was processing. It takes less than 30 seconds to synthesize Jane with blackmail, merging what she knew with what she knows.

That Jane is not the same as she was.

It takes her less than 30 seconds to process everything.

It takes Jane less than 30 seconds to surmise that Maura is horrified at her actions. For her heart to implode painfully in her chest. To hate herself and to hate everything she has done everything she and has become. To confuse what she see's with what she believes.

It takes less than 30 seconds for her facade of strength to crumble and shatter around her ears like broken glass. Believing she has just lost the only thing holding the pieces together. She would run away if it didn't leave Maura in possible danger. She puts her hands over her head and slumps down to the floor in defeat. Her thoughts, her assumptions, her fears causing her mind to unravel...

_She hates me, she can't stand me, she deserves better than me, I am not safe_

Jane can only think it, know it, she can't say it out loud. It's too painful.

Maura looks at her pensively for a moment trying to understand.

"You should go" Jane whispers harshly. Her voice is so cold it could have frozen Maura's heart, but it doesn't.

* * *

"What's in them? Why do you want them?"

"For a case we are working on."

"You say it like it's your job." Jane scowls, it would have been for her. A case, work, helping someone.

Shannon watches her face as it slowly returns to normal, the anger passing, "No one is making you do anything, Jay. But if you wanted to recover your own hard copy file then you could get these too. I will help you get in and out. And Jay...for me _this is_ my job."

He had called her Jay since that night after their first meeting, since her real name had accidentally slipped out after he heard the doctor say it to her. He had been standing nearby listening as agreed when it had been said...

_"You don't know what you're dealing with here, Jane."_

Of course he had already known of the heroic detective Jane Rizzoli. He had searched and found her file as requested before he even met her. He had read it carefully. Scrubbed it. He had deleted parts of it, he had written his own version of lies into it just for fun and to confuse others and then redacted the rest of it, placing it carefully back in the system without leaving a footprint. The whole time he was beaming. He loved this stuff. He did leave a backdoor that would alert him if it was accessed and by whom. All carefully hidden so it could only be found if someone specifically looked for it. Hacking. It is what he does. It's why _they_ want him to work for _them_...it's why he doesn't. But he hadn't meant for Jane to know that he knew her. For her sake.

* * *

Someone had accessed her file the day after that, the day the good CIA doctor hadn't arrived at work, hadn't been seen all day. An FBI search of her home had revealed the doctors private notes, with Jane's name mentioned several times, and somehow someone had a hard copy of her file, probably the SIS. And so, _they,_ of course, had gone after Jane. He hadn't been able to warn her in time, she hadn't answered her phone. She had quit...

White van. No plates. Four men. With weapons. With malice. With an Agenda

_"You cannot predict what one person will do let alone a gang attack. If you have to fight...then every single hit has to take the attacker out...or you'll be out. If you can run...run. And don't look back."_

Anna had trained her well enough to know how bad this was, and not to fight all four at once.

_"Movies are fake, Rizzoli, they are choreographed scenes. I only know of a few real life situations where one person has disabled all attackers. One was a martial arts master and he only survived because they had not charged him all at the same time, and he had disabled them one by one on the first blow. The other...was really really lucky. But a gang attack...they don't usually come one at a time in single file...they will all attack at once, and if they want you dead they will beat you together until you are."_

She had disabled the first guy that charged her, he had been well ahead of the other three men getting out of the van that had pulled up beside her screeching it's tires, he had been unwise. He fell at her feet like a sack of potatoes after her palm had thrust under his chin driving his jaw into his skull and snapping his head backwards. He hadn't even had a chance to swing at her. Guy 2 and guy 3 advanced together, but their steps out of time. They were huge. easily more than double Jane's weight. Guy 4 was edging around to get behind her, to blindside her, to trap her between the 3 of them. So she had run. She had to run. Three on one was not good odds.

They had chased. She was fast. They had gone back to get the van. Now they were faster.

_Run where Anna?_

She had just run, no idea which way was north, no idea where she was going. Her plan was to get as far away as possible and hide.

They had attempted to run over her in the van, missing her by inches. They missed but she had still fallen backwards as her foot caught the curb jumping out of the way.

And Guy 4 was on her like white on rice. She lay on her back on the ground and he punched her in the face. The fat lip was instant. It felt like her teeth were in her brain. Then he swung his autographed bat. It blurred as it moved so she wasn't sure which famous name was descending on her. The swing of a baseball bat luckily doesn't have the same physical impact when brought down from above by someone clumsily straddling your legs. But it still winded Jane, still felt like something cracked, still made it painful to move.

He had swung and the bat had bounced up an inch or two after meeting it's target then dropped back onto her chest, and stayed. No one would ever understand why. Maybe Guy 4 was tired, maybe admiring his work, maybe he wanted to see Jane's reaction. This beautiful, poetic pause, which was in slow motion for Jane, was an opening she never dreamed she would have. She thought it was over, she was a goner, and she had only hoped it would happen quickly and painlessly.

Instead, she wrapped her hands around the barrel of the bat, twisted it upwards and shoved the knob into his face as hard as she could. What a baby he was. He had let it go and fallen backwards holding his nose crying. Now she had a bat.

By that time passerby's were on their phones to the police, it was drawing quite a crowd. She had managed to run in the right direction, to a public area.

Guy 2 was now distracted trying to get Guy 4 up on his feet, they looked like brothers. And Guy 3, who had been driving was charging her. He looked like a lion in hunt, like a rabid wolf. His eyes were crazed and bloodshot. His teeth bared and spiting. And he had charged without much thought to his tactic. People had screamed. Jane had swung like this was the home run she needed to win the game, it was the home run of the century. Then it was messy. His police file would say blunt force trauma. His hospital chart would say depressed skull fracture. He would require 4 surgeries. His mother would say he was not the same anymore. Then there were sirens. Then she ran.

She _was_ going to walk away after the fight with the doctor in the carpark. Yes past-tense.. _.was_. A few too many nightmares of blue eyes becoming white and the sound of skulls fracturing on concrete.

_"I see the spray of blood from her nose as her head stops moving but the rest of her doesn't. I see the blood trickle out of her ear as she lies unmoving. I see her eyes roll back in her head over and over and over again. What did I do? What did I do? I can never do it again. I just can't..ever. I quit Shannon. It's over. I'm sorry."_

Shannon had not been disappointed. He would have been happy if Jane could reconcile with her past. With the torture...the theft of her security. Move on like so many other had been able too. "It's ok Jay. You do what you need to."

Memories had made her sick. She wasn't going to pursue the information she had received that night from the CIA doctor. She just wanted out.

But after that attack that day, she was going to fight back with every ounce of her being.

_"They were going to kill me Shannon. There were four of them. They had nunchucks and baseball bats. Sons of Bitches, I think my ribs are broken."_

After that Jane hadn't looked back again, she was all in. So Shannon had helped make her a ghost. And here they were ready to carry on and fight. _"I will not go gentle into that good night..."_ She had said and then smiled.

* * *

"Why me? Surely you have someone better at this than me for this, more experienced."

"Not really better, no. Besides you wanted to go in anyway. Two birds, one stone...right Jay?"

"What's in the files?" She tries again to find a reason, find her grounding, her confidence. Stealing government files for herself was one thing, but stealing for someone else, at the very least, she needed a solid tangible reason.

Shannon clears his throat and checks around that no one is listening, "The ones I am after are about sex trafficking and pedeophile rings." He looks down and swallows before looking back up. He is almost always calm and smiling but he almost lost it.

She contemplates this, then frowns, "Why would they be in U.S. confidential files at the senators office?"

"Why do _you_ think the problem gets worse every year and not better." It's rhetorical, and she loathes the implications of it.

Shannon doesn't notice her fists going white as she clenches them on her lap. Her dimple contacting because her jaw is clenched so tightly. If it's true, it's a betrayal of the people by the government they vote in to care for them. It's horrific, sadistic and it's inconceivable and she suddenly becomes numb all over.

"Anually it's a $38 billion dollar in profit industry plus some, it doesn't get taxed. Worse yet, our tax dollars help fund it. There's been precedents set time and again by the government, through the military and military contractors, the CIA, and help in hiding it from the FBI. It is linked with satanic groups and secret societies. It is everywhere, even here in Boston there is child trafficking, kids sold or stolen, often into sex trades."

Jane is pale now, and she has cramp from clenching her fists for so long, "Can you stop it, can you take them down?"

He chuckles, amused that Jane still asks the same question, every single time, despite the answer never being affirmative. "We will try to expose them." It's the same answer he always gives and Jane's grimace is typical.

Jane mulls over her emotions for a moment "I only feel right - _felt_ right, about doing things that are wrong because of what they did to me." An uncontrollable shiver rolls over her shoulders and down her back at the memory. Then she is angry, "Is this why you helped me, is this a payment I am obligated to make?"

Her eyes already glimmer and her brow creases. She is bracing emotionally for him to tell her it all had a price and she owes him, bracing herself for the sense of betrayal it will bring.

"No Jay, not at all." He remains calm, unfazed outwardly by the change in her, expecting it almost. "If it makes you feel any better, it is linked in a way."

Jane looks at him disbelieving, "You're pulling my leg now."

"It is all linked somehow, though, isn't it?"

Jane rubs her palms, she thinks about her little project, her wall. The connections being slowly uncovered every day. The bigger picture as it unravels before her eyes.

The 1 meter square of pictures and notes spreading further and further in every direction until she is out of room, "When I follow the money most things seem to be linked directly. When I follow the names they are linked corporately. And when I follow the organizations, well they are either behind it or are turning a blind eye to it." She sighs heavily, like the burden is hers alone.

He reaches over and squeezes her shoulder firmly, his smile never faltering.

"Do you know how many children under eighteen go missing in the United Kingdom every day? 383."

Jane is sure her chin bruises from what it might feel like to hit the floor.

"Worldwide 8 Million children will go missing this year, 2 million will be victims of commercial sexual exploitation. In DC alone, 500 children have gone missing in the last 3 months. 600,000-800,000 men, women and children are trafficked across international borders each year. Approximately 80 per cent are women and girls. Up to 50% are minors. 3,287 people are sold or kidnapped and forced into slavery every day..." He pauses allowing her to soak it up,

"Thats 136 an hour. And the average human is sold into slavery for less than $100." and there is repulsion in his eyes.

Jane squeezes her hands so tight her nails leave imprints.

"Wow" she breathes it so quietly neither hear the word leave her mouth.

"FBI prosecution of major child trafficking rings has been virtually non-existent despite the victims coming forward. Rings have been under investigation by federal and District authorities and includes among its clients key officials of the Reagan and Bush administrations, military officers, congressional aides, and U.S. and foreign businessmen with close social ties to Washingtons political elite. Grand Juries twice ordered thousands of files to be sealed, and then brought charges of perjury against some of the _victims_. Allegations of abuse involving 60 children, some infants, surfaced at the Presidio military base in San Francisco. McMartin Preschool abuse scandal in August 1983, when a mother told police that her two-year old son had been sexually abused. By 1984, 360 children had come forward claiming abuse. The Dutroux affair was-"

"Stop" Jane stutters out, "I get it. Fuck, just...fuck" she knows there's more, a lot more, but it make's her sick to her stomach.

"Jay, you never hear about it on the news. Enquiries are shut down and the judges forced to quit. And there are hundreds of thousands of documents that the governments have _in their possession_ , yet they do nothing, because they profit from it, because they are sick sons of bitches and are pedophiles themselves."

Jane can't look at him, at anyone in the noisy bar, even if she looked she couldn't focus. The anger was indescribable, her own torture almost seemed pathetic compared to this, she felt like her entire body might burst, that her fragments of flesh and bone would fly out from her, like a bomb, destroying everything in it's path. She wanted to scream, to smash everything within reach.

Shannon watched her intently again, Jane fascinated him, she was so complicated, more than anyone else he knew. She was hard and soft, sweet and fierce, passionate and pained. She was stubborn and sarcastic. She loved and hated in one breath. He worried for her well-being but also knew she was capable of so much more.

"We already have so many redacted files showing they know about it. But we can always have more. Better. Documents that can't be minimized, falsely interpreted."

She looks at him, stares at him, like his face might hold an answer. She tastes blood in her mouth, self inflicted.

"If I do this, for you, for...for...the children...Will it- Do you think it will take away my guilt...my anger?"

Shannon for the second time since she has known him looks serious and sad, and she almost doesn't recognize him, "I can't answer that. It doesn't work for me, the good doesn't remove the bad. But who knows, you are not like me." He gives her an encouraging half smile.

"I'll do it", and the answer morphs into a quirky half smile on her lips, her eyes hold a glimmer of hope. And Shannon grins back.

* * *

Maura falls towards to hold her, "No Jane. I am not running away, I'm not leaving you." It reminds her of Jane in the same position on the floor of her bathroom some months ago.

Jane doesn't move...doesn't respond to her. Jane can't bear to verbalize her innermost thoughts, she doesn't want to make it worse...

_Don't hope Jane, don't hope. She will leave, sooner or later, you wouldn't stay with you, you are a mess._

Maura holds her shoulders tightly to get her attention, trying to get her to look up, "I'm sorry Jane, I said I understood and was ready, but it- it just, it caught me by surprise. I'm right here and the only place I am going is wherever you are."

Jane looks up at her apprehensively, to Maura it looks like she has a secret she is fighting to keep.

Then Jane's eyes glaze over slightly.

The images of a boy crying underneath her gun, a woman unconscious and bleeding at her feet, a man in his underwear with only fear in his eyes, they flood her mind.

_I am guilty, I might go to hell for what I've done, she couldn't follow me there, I wouldn't let her. Tell Maura that you are dead and gone, you are nowhere safe."_

"I'm awful Maur. I'm a mess." Jane jerkingly wipes the corner of her eye before a tear can escape, before she speaks her voice tiny and broken, soft like the wind, "You have every right to be disappointed and ashamed of me. I am of myself. Of what I am."

It's so raw and vulnerable Maura chokes up wondering how she missed this before. This whole time... Jane insecure, fighting, her layers of protection being slowly stripped down, painfully, one layer at a time. She saw it was the night Jane came back to her, she couldn't touch Jane's face, but then later, they had loved each other so deeply that she was sure it would be alright, when they made love Jane was vulnerable, beautiful, lost in a better sort of way.

Then that night she arrived bruised front and back, she had been so different, and from there it was like ripples growing larger and becoming erratic. Occasionally she would see the Jane she had known for years, but after a moment she was gone.

Maura might have seen it sooner if she herself had been so angry. Angry at what Jane went through, and was going through. Angry because Jane  would _have_ been hers physically and emotionally had she not been taken. Anger at the details being kept from her.

Truth be told, she would have done almost exactly as Jane was doing if she had known how too. But right now her anger at seeing Jane broken before her wouldn't help. Jane needed a few layers put back on, like a winter coat in the storm, if only to metaphorically protect her from the cold.

"I have not nor will I ever be disappointed in you, Jane."

_stop_ Jane keeps her head down without speaking

"I am _not_ ashamed of you. Do you hear me, Jane?"

_please stop, I don't deserve you_

Maura cups her chin and lifts her face forcefully. She stares sternly into Jane's eyes trying to convey just how deadly serious she is. Her voice commanding. "You are amazing, Jane..."

_Her eyes look like fire, my eyes once burned fiercely like that. Protectively, righteously.  
Now they are fear, more than fear. Abated when I am angry or kissing you. Then it rebounds and crushes my chest._

_"...and strong, "_

_Now I am danger and terror_

She leans forward and pecks Jane's cheek, "...to have survived what you went through."

_I will never tell you the thing's that were done to me._

She kisses Jane's lips softly, slowly, "To have come out the other side fighting instead of on your back."

_Or the things I have done, am doing_

"You have not been a victim Jane".

_I have become a victimizer_

_"_ And I am proud of you...In every single way. And you should be proud of yourself too."

Maura tries to appear truthful, calm and loving, her lips curving in a sweet smile.

Jane doesn't smile back.

_I am not good for you, I am guilty, I am angry, I am bitter, I am sorry, I am fear_   
_How do I tell you that your kisses taste sweet like honey and fill me with fear_   
_How do I tell you your sweet words sound wonderful like crackling wood in the cold but taste like lead_   
_That your whispers are like fairy kisses that burn my skin like branded steel_   
_That your trust in me cuts my heart to ribbons_

Maura bites her lip and takes Jane's hands carefully holding them tighter as Jane tries to pull away.

"There are four basic human psychological needs..." Maura strokes her cheek reassuringly holding her tightly like she might just vanish, "The need for safety. That is security, comfort, order, consistency, control and certainty. You need it both physically and emotionally."

She takes Jane's wrists and starts to remove the black wrapping tape around them, the act equally surprising them both.

"And purpose...or growth. The need for physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual development. Contribution...The need to give, care, protect beyond ourselves, to serve others and the good of all."

Jane's shoulders stiffened, tears start to trickle down her face

"Then acceptance. Or significance. Belonging...love. The need for meaning, validation. To be wanted, special, connected. We each have a need to love and be loved by others. We each have a need to belong. We need to feel good about ourselves, to feel that they have earned the respect of others, in order to feel satisfied, self confident and valuable. If these needs are not met, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless and worthless."

The wraps are about to fall and Jane's eyes are wide with fear. Her breath hitches and she holds it afraid to breath. If Maura had not moved Jane might have stopped breathing forever.

"And innocence. Lack of innocence is shame...and guilt."

When the wrappings fall away they both stare at Jane's wrists. Only the faintest of marks left as a reminder.

Jane tries to hide her head in Maura's neck, and the sob she lets out sounds like heartbreak and loss. Pure pain.

Maura wraps her arms around Jane's quivering body until it stops.

"I'm still here Jane"

The whimper said it all, Maura pulls away thinking she had hurt Jane, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

She looks at Jane, the desperation and worry in her eyes. Jane closes her eyes, she doesn't want to see it. Guilt puts a lump in her throat she can't swallow and for a moment she feels like she cant breath.

_I want you to change me, let me stay the same. Hold me, let me go. I want to tell you everything, I want to keep you safe._

Maura smiles softly, comfortingly, "Jane, You have done nothing wrong. But only you can determine your worth, your innocence. I can't keep you physically safe, but emotionally I can be you rock. I won't leave you."

And she seals it with a kiss that is soft then heavy and reassuring and reciprocated.

And they break apart, both panting and Maura has forgotten what she was going to say next.

Jane's voice breaks the silence, croaky and wavering, "My wrists, they were bound, and I was powerless. I wanted to be free. The feeling of something touching them reminded me I need to be free."

"You are free Jane. Tell yourself you are free."

"I've done things Maura, bad things."

"Because you had too."

"Hamish...it's my fault..."

"Because you had too."

She looks into Maura's eyes, there is no judgement, no horror.

"I'm so afraid..." she chokes out

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." Maura kisses her forehead

"I am so angry."

"So am I," Maura whispers back and kisses her temple, "And it's ok."

_How can she wipe it all away, the guilt, fear and anger, like it has no power over me. how can the hate just vanish, how is she so amazing, how do I feel so free..._

"Thanks." her voice is deep and gravelly but stronger.

"You need to wash your face," Maura responds kissing Jane's cheek before whispering gently in her ear, the warmth tickling Jane's neck, "The black paint on your cheeks has run and is dripping onto you clothes"

Jane laughs, it almost sounds like a sob, it's weak but it's happy, "Ok"

Maura stands up and holds her arms out to Jane who puts one hand in each, and Maura pulls her to her feet. Then Jane wraps her arms around Maura and pulls her close, faces pressed together, "Thank you, Maura, I - you - you are amazing." Jane whispers tenderly into her best friends ear tickling her back.

"You are welcome"

Jane pulls away, eventually, and then snickers, reaching up to Maura's face, "You need to wash your face too, now" she tries to rub the black paint transfer off but it only creates a bigger smear. And now she can't stop laughing. They both are.

* * *

_"If the New World Order types had some kindness, some humanity, some morality, perhaps One World Government is what we need. But mainly these are nasty people with a lust for money and a ruthless disregard for human suffering. Sadly this is all made possible by a mainstream media that is owned and controlled by these very forces. Because the people who own media choose wherever it is that the light is to be shone. So the same stories and the same sound bites across six media conglomerates constitutes what the public is to learn about their world and their country."_

Chris Pratt from his movie "Deception"

* * *

...to be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have only written one full scene and a two half scenes beyond this point...pretty much the drawing board from here on. I feel it only has a few more chapters to go though. I would really love some feedback, maybe even ideas of how it could or should end. I WILL finish this story so don't panic...I just have a lot of different ways to play this out and my original idea was really really angst (Possibly sliding into downright depressing) which I still kinda like cause i'm weird. But I want to wrap it up nicely too...so anything i have left hanging (possibly forgotten) that needs concluded let me know. My memory is very very bad...not joking...I had M.E. when I was 15 and it affected my short-term memory. Sometimes I have to re-read chapters to remember what I wrote even after only a week ....so help is definately appreciated. :) thank you


	34. United

LET SLEEPING BLOOD LIE

**Chapter 34 - United**

* * *

 

"So here we are" Jane murmured locking the door behind them.

The lounge/kitchen/dining room of the tiny apartment seemed only slightly bigger than Maura's entire wardrobe, a luxurious sized wardrobe mind you. The wallpaper looked original, yellow and faded. There was original wood panelling along one wall and the wall lights illuminated the room in a creepy eerie sort of way. The carpet was an antique pattern yet looked hardly worn. It was not in the running to win any awards for style.

There were 3 televisions along a wall, two playing different news channels. RT on one is playing an item on President Donald Trump firing the director of the FBI, James Comey. Al Jazerra presenter is talking about starving children on the other screen. She notices a flash of anger in Jane's eyes as they land on the muted screen, it is a video of a 2 year old malnourished unresponsive child on her crying mothers lap.

"Seven years of UN sanctions in Iraq are the reason for 1.5 million deaths, and Madeline Albright thinks the price is _worth_ it." Jane growls suddenly causing Maura to jump.

The third television was a black and white image of the street outside the building with a clear view of the garage entrance they had just driven in to park.

The one and only window was boarded up from the outside, stripes of light trying to sneak through the gaps causing horizontal lines of light on the wall opposite showing up particles of dust free to explore between the two locations.

The meager furnishings in the tiny room consist of an antique ham radio in the corner on a formica bench with small handwritten bits of paper crudely pinned to the wall behind it. The radio shared it's space with a few empty BPD mugs and an electric jug. A bar fridge tucked underneath it. And the seating was two old wood and steel school chairs from the 50's. One chair pushed against the wall and the other in front of the radio which bleeped to itself on occasion like R2D2.

There is a plaque over the bedroom door with a quote on it she doesn't recognize "Bankers own the earth. Take it away from them but leave them with the power to create credit; and, with a flick of a pen, they will create enough money to buy it back again... If you want to be slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, then let the bankers control money and control credit. - Sir Josiah Stamp"

Jane looks up and follows Maura's gaze as she reads the plaque,

"Josiah was President of the Bank of England in the 1920's, the second richest man in Britain, he said that at the Commencement Address of the University of Texas in 1927. Shannon put that up, said it reminds him of who really runs the show." she chuckles to herself at the memory of Shannon trying to hammer in the nail to hang it up. He might be an incredible and intelligent hacker...or spy, but they both knew directly behind the plaque were two holes where he had missed the nail and put the hammer into the drywall, and slipped off the chair in surprise leaving the hammer hanging out. Jane thought the hammer in the wall was art and they should leave it. Shannon however wanted to hide the hole, accidentally made another hole with his second attempt and eventually got the plaque up...with the help of Jane.

A simple clock on the wall told Maura it was now close to 9am. They had stopped at a McCafe on the way and Maura had eaten one of the most unappetizing and un-nutritious meals of her entire life, but she didn't care. Maybe it was the sleepless night, the stress, the fear, or the discovery of Jane's new world and the feeling like everything had changed and could never be the same. She had eaten it all, facing Jane, her eyes full of questions. Then as they sat in the tiny cafe they watched the light peek through the windows as daylight breaks outside. Dan Simmons, Private Investigator, has been advised his services are no longer required. And then she had agreed to come here, she couldn't remember exactly why right at this moment...it did however seem perfectly logical at the time. Something about a meeting point and it being safer. Jane had told her no one lived there it was just a safe house and meeting point. Either way she had agreed to come for at least one night and then Jane would drop her home and possibly disappear as she did so well.

The bathroom was so tiny and basic she was sure no more than one person could fit at a time and even that would be a tight squeeze. You could easily sit on the toilet while taking a shower. It would have been impossible for the door to open into the room itself.

She cringed when Jane pushed open the bedroom door. The window in here was also boarded up but drapes hung loosely in front partially disguising it. There were 2 single beds and nothing else. It looked clean enough and the beds were made. The comforters where grey and drab. It certainly needed a woman's touch.

Maura dropped a day bag on one of the beds wondering how comfortable it would be.

She wanted to ask Jane everything and nothing. Every question racing through her mind was loaded, even the simple questions. She had already been guessing what Jane's answers would be. And she hated guessing...she didn't guess...usually. And now she was suddenly quite unsure of what she wanted anyway.

As she examined the room her fingers tingled with the newness of the situation and her mouth was so dry she wondered if her lips might be stuck together. She felt she looked a mess and she was physically struggling with the intensity of where she found herself.

Walking back out into the doorway between the bedroom and the living room, she watches as Jane finishes emptying some supplies she had brought with her into a hidden wall cavity in the wood paneling. It was so well disguised she hadn't even seen it when they walked in.

"I can't stay here." she blurts out without her own permission

Jane closes the cavity gently and just smiles at Maura softly and apologetically, "It gives new meaning to crappy little apartment huh?" she chuckles, "Just one night. Ok?"

Maura looks around the tiny space wondering why anyone would _choose_ to stay here. She looks back at Jane who hasn't moved and shows only apprehension.

"Why here? I can get us a _really_ nice hotel room. A suite...with...with at least a couch. And..."

Jane makes a move towards her, and one and a half strides she has crossed the entire span of the room to the doorway, then she lets out a heavy breath, "And room service, and a bathroom with a hot bubble bath and a hundred dollar a glass champagne..."

"I'd settle for a bathroom I could _get changed in_." Maura half smiles

"And a balcony with a view of the city. And a super king sized bed with a million count Egyptian cotton sheets..." Jane's eyes almost glaze over lost in the daydream

"And _you_ in it wearing nothing at all." Maura's slightly darker eyes are staring into Jane's deeply, and returned equally, studying, lovingly, sexually charged. Jane bites her lower lip in thought.

Just as Maura is about to step into what she is sure will be a romantic embrace, Jane blurts out, "Nope, nope, wouldn't work."

Maura's mouth drops open, "Excuse me?"

" _Please_ may I take a rain check on that though?" Her grin is seductive and cheeky all at the same time

"Why?" It is not a proper sentence, but it's as much as Maura can get out.

"Why? Firstly, you'd have to pay in cash and use fake names. Secondly, you wanted to come here, remember, instead of me dropping you off at your own house. _Your_ house already _has_ a super king sized bed _and_ a bathroom so big you could have a runway fashion show in it while making snow angels."

"Yes Jane, but as you said you would ' _drop me off'_. I want to be with you right now. We have been apart so long and I'm afraid you'll run off again." She says while attempting to give Jane her dirtiest stare.

"What? What did I do?" Jane responds defensively to the look

"Do you want the whole list, or just the most pertinent and recent bits?" Maura says while raising one eyebrow

"Oh har har Maur'. You should do stand-up."

Maura grins pleased with herself, then pouts, "Pleeeaasssseeeee can we go somewhere nice."

Jane raises both her eyebrows

"Errr. I mean **Nice-errrr**." Maura corrects

Jane laughs and gives her a peck on the cheek.

She wants to be with Jane but not _here_. Her mother wouldn't even have set foot in the door of this place. And if her mother knew she planned to 'stay' here... _intentionally_...she, well, could even be disowned.

But this was Jane, and Jane was real, not discriminatory, Jane was reaching out and no way in hell would her aristocratic upbringing interfere with this, whatever 'this' is exactly. She had to see this as an adventure. Like a camping trip or undercover mission. Roughing it.

"I would like for you to meet Shannon. I am to meet him here soon." Jane shrugs

"Really, the suit from the photo?"

"No the other guy. The one with dark hair."

"Why do you need to meet him?"

Jane sighs, "Let's sit down."

Maura scans the room again marveling at the simplicity of the place, "Where?"

"Beds?" Jane shrugs, her tone adds that there really isn't another option

One small stride later and they sit opposite each other on the single beds, knees touching.

"Surprisingly comfy." Maura tries to break the tension giving a little bounce to which the bed responds with a few annoying squeaks.

Jane clears her throat and keeps her face serious, "I don't even know what to say or how to begin. It's all so...big."

Maura just nods solemnly

"What do you know?"

Maura tilts her head slightly frowning, "I know a lot of things Jane. You'll need to be more specific." After a long silent pause Maura speaks again, "I know you've been avoiding this conversation for months. I know you don't want to talk about certain things. I can't say I believe everything I've seen or heard lately but then I cannot make an informed decision until I have all the information. In regards to _our relationship_ specifically, I know I love you very very much. And I'm also very afraid for you."

Jane's lip quivers slightly as she gives Maura a look that says 'I love you more than words can say' and she sighs softly, "I just wish it could be like this forever, like it is in this moment, right before we have _this_ conversation."

Maura watches as Jane studies some imaginary thing of fascination at her feet before looking up slowly, "I'm going to do something extremely stupid."

Maura frowns "Is that news? I'm not sure I needed to sit down for that."

Jane half smiles and a twinkle appears in her eyes. Maura's attempt lighten the situation works although Jane still wishes the ground would swallow her whole.

Her response is unlike her usual quips and sarcastic checkmates, she can only chew on her lip.

And this unusual behavior gives Maura a sinking feeling in her stomach, like something is very off, "Jane, Are you telling me because you want me to talk you out of it or are you saying goodbye?"

"I don't know, neither I think."

Maura's reaches out her hand and squeezes Jane's hands, "Sweetheart, there is _absolutely_ nothing to do in this place, so take all the time you need."

Jane smiles while huffing air out her nose, in almost a muted laugh or a silent snort.

"I just don't think you are going to think i'm very sane after I tell you what I think and what I know. With you here it all feels so...surreal." Jane whispers, her voice low and husky, she runs her hand through her hair forcing it out of her way, then she sighs heavily and closes her eyes

"You can tell me Jane." Maura's voice is soft and understanding, it's music to Jane's ears.

"I don't really know what to say, how to sum it up. There's just so much and it all needs the rest of it to make sense." Jane pauses thinking about how she was first introduced. "Did you ever watch the Matrix?"

"I believe so"

"Morpheus offers Neo a choice, to take the red pill you stay in Wonderland and find out how deep the rabbit hole goes, or take the blue pill and the story ends, you wake up in your bed and you believe whatever you want to."

"Okay..." Maura frowns not understanding the connection

"The truth is like the red pill, and once you know it, you can't un-know it. No one can be told what it is. You have to see it for yourself and there is no turning back. And it's not nice, it's not fun. It's mean, it's cruel and treasonous and you wish sometimes you could wake up and it's all been just an unpleasant dream. You wish that you could just forget everything you know or find some way to believe it's all a lie, that it is not real, and go back to the way things were before. But then you...you also want more, you have to know _everything._ And then the pieces start to come together and you recognize it wasn't random, it wasn't wrong place wrong time. And you get so so _angry_."

"Jane?"

"You know what happened to me, I know you do even if I never really told you. And it was awful, it was like nothing i've experienced before. I had no control...none. No choice to take it standing up or lying down..."

Maura comfortingly squeezes Jane's hand she has in her grasp as the rest of Jane becomes erratic and anxious

"...And the fear...fear for you, fear for me...It took 2 weeks for me to be able to have a shower, and I still drive past you house several times a day to check you're ok. But when I was with you I could forget it all, forget everything...for awhile. I'm sorry if you ever felt I used you. You've helped me so much. In what you've said, and haven't said. Being there for me...I don't think there are words really." She pauses, trying to make her brain make her heart make sense.

"Always Jane, I'll always be here for you."

Then they sit, facing each other, knees touching, for the of longest moments.

_If we are afraid to tell the truth, we are enslaved already._

"Maura, I thought I was doing all this to keep you safe. I was pretending it was the only reason. Fear was the other reason but I didn't want to face it. And when I needed to justify myself I used what happened to Hamish. And when that wasn't enough it was because of what they did to me. Now...I just feel I have to, I need to. I have to finish this. It's not fear or anger. Sure they are there, but that should stop me from getting in deeper. Maybe it's injustice that drives me now, or maybe it's that if I do nothing then that's what will happen...nothing. It's like I can't live without the truth anymore. I just need to know."

Maura strokes Jane's hands gently, encouraging her on

"But you are my oxygen. You keep me breathing. I have no idea what would have happened to me without you. Even when I shut you out, It was because I had to. I couldn't have you on my mind. But I needed you to breathe. I - Does that make sense?"

Maura frowns and purses her lips thinking, "Not as much as I hoped it would."

Jane pulls Maura's hand to her lips and kisses it, "So, No." she chuckles the tension in her body dissapating, "My heart just doesn't have words right now."

Maura nods slowly, "Jane, your wall, where are you going, where is it leading you?"

"That's an unanswerable question. What I was doing was tracing the people that took me...it just happened to be a lot bigger than I imagined. But I've met a bunch of people that are looking at the bigger picture. They call it the 'new world order'."

Maura opens her mouth to spout out a bunch of information about the topic then closed it again wondering if this is the place or time to use knowledge to ground herself.

Jane smiles and nods knowingly, "Tell me Maur."

Maura opens her mouth again, relieved to be able to contribute, "The phrase 'new world order' was explicitly used in connection with Woodrow Wilson's global zeitgeist during the period just after World War I, during the formation of the League of Nations. And was mentioned by George Bush in a speech of September 11, 1990. The phrase Novus ordo seclorum translated 'New World Order' appears on the reverse of the Great Seal of the United States designed in 1782, and has been printed on the back of the United States one-dollar bill since 1935."

This gets her an amused chuckle, "But what is it and how deep does it go. Has it been part of a plan for that long? ...as long as the one dollar bill has been printed? or longer? Is it a conspiracy or a coincidence?..."

Maura silently watches Jane, fascinated by the excitement and determination dancing around in her eyes when she speaks.

"...And would you really want to know if it was?"

It's not a question, it's a consequence, Maura understands that now. This isn't just information trading or research. It is the choice, the going down the rabbit hole. The red pill or the blue pill.

_Would I want to know if there was a conspiracy to rule the world and everything on it_

Jane continues again, but slower, like she is waiting for Maura to stop her, to question her, or to laugh like it's some sort of joke, "Ricci has ties to Skull and Bones. In order to be a director of the CIA you must be a crusading Knight of Malta and it doesn't hurt if you are a member of Skull and Bones either. In order to reach the highest levels in the Pentagon establishment, you must be an illuminated Freemason and/or a Knight of one order or another. Ricci's family has ties to a lot of things. And him having to face a judge for murder was unacceptable. I took me weeks to understand that the CIA is only under the government when it comes to national security. If they call it an 'international security' matter then they are above the government, they've positioned themselves to be a higher authority than congress, the President and the constitution."

Maura frowns and nods then jumps as a male voice booms across the room.

"I say the CIA stands for 'criminals in action', cause those bastards use false flag events to start wars and cause conflicts with other countries, and never admits their part in crimes against humanity. Anything "international" is the CIA's concern, including currency wars, market wars, banking wars, cyber wars, and the wars on drugs and terrorism."

Shannon steps forward, his hand out in greeting, "You must be Maura, I'm Shannon. A real pleasure to meet you."

Maura takes his hand cautiously wondering if she should correct her title or not.

"I see you're filling her in on the fun and games." He says to Jane but keeps his eye's fixed on Maura's for so long that she turns to Jane to check everything is alright.

Jane clears her throat and pulls a face at Shannon who laughs, "Sorry. I can see now why she would kill for you." Then he releases Maura's hand still smiling, "Everyone is considered a terrorist until proven innocent according to the Patriot Act. The CIA can label anyone, or any agency or company as an "international security" threat, even without evidence. And that is what they wrote in Jay's file...'terrorist'. It gave them unrestrained permission to take her under the guise of international security."

Jane watches Maura watching Shannon, she watches her mouth open in shock, her brow crease, and feels Maura's grip tighten on her hand.

"So... _Jay_ ", Maura looks from Shannon to Jane, "You're after the CIA then? Is that the stupid thing you're going to do...try and stop them?"

Jane looks at Shannon for a moment considering her answer before turning back to Maura, "No. Shannon want's to stop them. He's even convinced Trump is trying to stop them without getting himself assassinated like Kennedy did. But then there is still the banksters that control the CIA. I'm pretty sure to stop them all is impossible...I erm, I'm just going to...to talk to one of them."

Then she turns casually to Shannon again.

Shannon scratches his chin, "We were hoping Jay would join us but for now we are working towards a common goal. Maybe one day though."

Jane nods to him, "Maybe. One day. And the files are in the cupboard."

Shannon nods back, winks at Jane and leaves them alone again

"How is talking to one of them _stupid,_ Jane?" Maura scowls her face up like it's painful to say

Jane sighs, "I want...revenge"

"That does sound a little imprudent."

Jane runs her hand through her hair defensively, while Maura ponders the conversation, then she looks up at Jane worried, "You would _kill_ for me?"

"Jeez, Maur', Jane reaches out and take's Maura's hands squeezing them tightly, "Of course I would."

Maura swallows, "Have you?"

"No..."

"Are you planning too?"

Jane reaches up and strokes the side of Maura's face softly with the back of her fingers

"I thought I was, but then I realized I was going to do it for me. This is on me Maur', not you, this is not your burden to bear."

"No Jane, please don't. Please just stay with me, let it go"

Jane pulls her close and kisses her temple softly whispering, "I can't"

She pulls away and looks deep into Jane's eyes, she see's the despair, and the hope. She know's that Jane needs to do this her way. She can only do what she has always done, love her and hope she will never loose her. Maura pulls Jane into a deep kiss and it deepens with every second that passes. She feels the gratitude from Jane's touch, senses the freedom she has given her, and she relishes in it.

* * *

 

...to be continued ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is still enjoying this. thank you for all comments and reviews. Have a wonderful day.


	35. Respite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you loving it or hating it?

CHAPTER 35 - Respite

* * *

 

Shannon had shuffled through the documents a few times and had pulled a few vital ones out and was re-reading them carefully when Jane finally and quietly emerged into the room leaving Maura sleeping on the single bed. She had been exhausted from the events of the day prior, discovering so much and a sleepless night, then an early relocation. On top of that was the emotions between them. It was hard to believe Maura had knocked on her door only 18 hours ago. So much had happened so quickly. So many layers of herself peeled back, she was more confused than she had ever been. Elation and fear mixed together by the talks she had with Maura, worry for the future, and confusion over who she was now.

Jane pulled the wood chair from the wall a dragged it the few feet to sit beside Shannon, taking a beer out of the bar fridge before propping her feet up on it and leaning backwards stretching her legs. She hoped Shannon didn’t hear too much of their make-out session in the bedroom through the thin walls before Maura had drifted off to sleep in her arms. If he did hear anything he gave no indication.

“What have we got?” she asked quietly, hushed so not to wake Maura.

“A lot of good documents.” Shannon replied quietly, “It sure will make a few people very _very_ unhappy.” his massive mischievous grin is irresistible and his eye’s dance with excitement. “Also,” he adds with a smirk, “Some definitive secret society links to the people that took you.” he hands Jane a document with a ‘confidential’ stamp across the top.

She takes it nonchalantly “There are a lot of ‘them’ out there, aren’t there? People in the _club_?”

“Yes...It seems there are,” he scratches him chin in thought, “And their power is prodigious. They’ve got their hands on every lever of power in the country. It’s like trying to look into the Mafia....they’re a secret society, too.”

“Mhmmm”

Shannon looks at her a moment, regarding her, watching her eyes graze over the document barely feigning interest, “Jay, if you were a supersecret spy agency seeking to recruit the most trustworthy and able people, wouldn’t you want someone whose life story, character, and secrets were already known to you? What sexual proclivities that might make the future spy open to temptation or blackmail.”

Jane stares at him momentarily before diverting her attention back to the paper in her hands.

“The executive branches often recruit from those type of groups for that reason.” He adds softly.

Jane shrugs in response.

“Are you having second thoughts about this Jay?”

She shrugs again and rubs her face frowning, then she sighs lost in thought again. Shannon can tell she is not even close to engaged in the topic. He didn’t hear much of the conversation between the girls next door but wonders if it might be related to that.

“Are you really going to make her stay here?” Shannon pulls her out of her respite and she rewards him with a snort of laughter

“I am totally messing with her,” she laughs, “I’ll take her home soon”

Shannon chuckles too, “Personally, I can’t believe she puts up with you. She is certainly one of a kind.”

“True” Jane nods, “No guys survived very long with me.”

“And you think it was to do with your personality?” he looks quite surprised

Jane looks towards to bedroom door where she wonders if Maura is sleeping or listening, “Nuh, you’re right, they just weren’t man enough to handle me.” 

Shannon laughs softly with her then after a pause they move back to business

Shannon points to a line at the bottom of the page still in Jane’s hand. The sentence itself is too redacted to make sense of but the name Smith stands out to her, “Ricci dropped the name Smith...I think we found him.”

Jane looks up abruptly at Shannon trying to control the waves of emotions flowing through her, then she glances at the bedroom door to make sure it’s as closed as it can be, “You _found him_?”

“Yes. My sources say he is flying into Boston next week. What do you want to do?”

“I...I...” Suddenly she isn’t sure what she want’s, she glances at the door again.

Shannon follows her gaze as well as the workings of her brain, “Will you tell her?”

Jane swallows heavily before looking at her feet, “I guess it depends on what I plan to do.”

“If you don’t kill him, he won’t repay the favor. But you don’t have to go.”

“Yes I do” Jane groans, her internal battle going on, “I just don’t want to loose Maura. If I tell her I could loose her, she says it doesn’t matter but so far I haven’t....killed anyone....like this. If I keep it from her...”

She sighs and puts her head in her hand resting her elbow on her knee.

“You have to tell her, Jay.” 

“Shhhh.” Jane frowns aware Maura could be listening

“If something happens to you....how do you think it will affect her?”

“I can’t. She will hate me.” Jane growls rubbing her hands together harshly

“And she will hate you if you don’t” he retorts 

Jane rubs her face again and leans back it the chair, rocking it on the back two legs. 

Shannon points at the paper, “Why do you _have_ to do this?”

As impossible as it seems Jane manages to slump further into her chair, “Because I can’t get it out of my head, him...I can’t get him out.”

“What if he got struck by lightening? or hit by a car?” 

Jane’s eye’s flared dark at the thought, her tone dark and dangerous, “Then I would be angry that I didn’t get to be a part of instigating his death.”

Shannon doesn't look nearly half as surprised as he should,  “Vengeance is a dangerous thing Jay. Once you get what you want will you be satisfied?”

“Yes, then I know it will be over.”

“That’s what everyone thinks, but unfortunately no one ever is truly satisfied. Once the bitterness has taken over, it is not easily removed. Should I be worried about you?”

If looks could kill he would have died right there and quite suddenly, her glare and every muscle in her face said for him to leave it alone and leave her be. It worried him but he held his tongue. He knew the war that raged within her, he had seen it hundreds of times before in victims and he had experienced, it in a sense, himself. He would let her be, but he would not leave her on her own. At some point, probably when Smith was dead, she would be empty and vulnerable and that is when she would need someone to hold her up and fill the emptiness with a new purpose, a purpose hopefully not embroiled with hate. The least he could do was be there if no one else was.

“Ok Jay.” He flashed her a grin and gently thumped her in the arm in a friendly manner and she smiled softly back.

Shannon hold’s up another document checking for details.

“You’ll let me know when?” She asks cautiously

Shannon nods confidently, “I will give you all the details when I have them.”

“Do you need my help with anything else?”

“I’m away for a few days, just relax, spend some time with your girl.”

Jane’s face falls, she suddenly feels anxious, like the freedom might be dangerous.

When Maura enter’s the room a few minutes later Jane can tell by her face that she has heard at least some of the conversation, she wonders how much, she anticipates a lecture of sorts. Maura smiles at her softly instead, “Whats for lunch?”

Jane smiles back, relieved, “Let’s get you home, shall we.”

* * *

“Jane?” It’s dark and Maura can feel her pulse is fast, too fast, and she feels lightheaded, slightly sick, she has vertigo. “Jane where are you?” She is wide awake now and after a few moments her pulse returns to normal, her cognitive senses separating reality from her dreams..or her nightmares, and the vertigo passes. 

It was a nightmare, she had has it several times now over the past week, the same nightmare.

Scientifically she knows it is related to ongoing unresolved stress, knowing this does not make it any easier physically. She lets out a breath and calms herself slowly.

It is a horrible nightmare...Jane is missing, again, gone for four days. Only in these nightmares she knows who took Jane and what they are doing to her. But as usual she can’t catch them, stop them in time. They are too fast, too powerful, too connected. 

And she always wakes up after opening that damn envelope she found under her door. It’s a photo of Jane, her Jane. Only it is no bribe, there is no note, no mission. In the image, _in this photo_ , she finds she can easily differentiate alive from dead, this Jane is dead. Her throat slit, she is partially naked, and written across her stomach in her own blood is the numbers ‘322’.

In her nightmare the photo explodes into flames in her hands. It burns her, and she wakes burning up, the sheets soaked in her sweat.

She knows it isn’t real...

_It was just a dream, Jane isn’t kidnapped, she is just not here, she is gone like usual_

She hates these moments, moments when her lover is gone without a word. Alone in her bedroom with the silence all around her. She pulls her knees up to her chest still wrapped in white sheets and bites her lip. The last week they have spent mostly together, when Maura isn’t at work, but Jane disappears in the middle of the night. And when Maura wakes up in the morning Jane is back, her soft snores and gentle breathing heavenly to Maura’s senses. It has been a magical week, even the tense conversations have been wonderful in an intellectual sense. Lots of secrets revealed, and a lot kept hidden, she can tell.

_Jane where are you_

She switches on the bedside lamp to check the time on the clock, but the clock is missing completely. Frowning at the oddity of the loss she looks for her phone but finds it is missing too, only the charging cable remains hanging uselessly from the wall. She turns her wrist so the face of the watch is directed towards her, but it doesn’t tell her the time....it is broken, smashed and unreadable and bloody...and her hands too are drenched in red sticky blood.

“Noo...” Maura jumps off the bed and pulls the sheet away. Jane’s side of the bed is covered in blood, the pillow, the sheet, the headboard and a reddish-brown splatter sprayed up the wall.

“Noo...” she cries out running her bloody hand through her hair, tears trickle down her face and her knees feel weak. She falls to her knees, the room spins wildly around her...

_Jane_

* * *

She wakes violently, arms thrown out and a moan like a drowning scream leaves her throat and she gasps sitting up

“Jane” she cries, “No..Jane...”

She is hot and wet from sweat, her head throbs in her skull and she could pass out.

The hands suddenly on her arms are firm and strong and cool like ice, and she hears Jane calling her from what sounds like far away

_ “Maur” _

It’s foggy, she feels foggy, she isn’t sure where she is, and her stomach is like a million explosions of pain.

“You’re ok Maur’, you’re safe” It’s muffled and familiar and the body smothering her smells just like Jane.

Jane is pressed close to her whispering soft promises in her ear, and she feels like she is home. Her head stops spinning and her muscles relax like putty. She breathes in deeply the scents around her, sweet reminders of what is right in front of her. And then she can open her eye’s, and her eye’s confirm for her that Jane is living and breathing. She wants to pinch herself, just to check she is really awake this time...but then again, she wouldn’t really mind if this was a dream.

“Jane” she whispers

The hot breath against her neck is enough to be sure it is real, “You’re ok Maura, you’re ok. I’m right here.”

“You’re here” she whispers back

“I’m here” clarity, with a tickle of a kiss against her jaw

“I’m glad” she smiles to herself, “I had a horrible dream you were gone, forever.”

Jane pulls back still holding firmly and their eyes lock. Her chocolate brown eyes like an endless pool of peace and love, a quirk of a smile playing on her lips, the dimple on her left side making a welcomed appearance and then hiding again. Then Jane nibbles her bottom lip, it’s innocent but it is beautifully seductive. Eye’s studying her own, eye’s that are unfaltering in their genuinity while being mysterious and complex.

Jane moistens her lips before she speaks, and takes a deep breath, “Never. Never forever. I am here with you.”

“Stay” A request, a command, a petition. 

One Jane cannot commit too, “I’m here”, it’s all she can offer for definite right now.

For now it is enough and Maura relaxes into Jane’s strong body and they spoon together until the suns rays stream brightly into the room. 

Maura won’t speak of her dreams, their moments together are to perfect, too sweet, too loving. She won’t destroy them with her fears. Taint their time together with sadness. Dreams inside dreams that torment her, until she is awake and at peace. She makes herself forget, pushes them away. She won’t let them ruin what she has.

* * *

The day was sweet and joyful like the last six days before it had been. Hours spent together sometimes without words. Sweet kisses, gentle caresses, jokes and longing looks. It was as if nothing had changed, as if the last 12 weeks never happened. It was like the day before Jane had been taken...almost. They laughed together and cried together and they ignored everything else.

There were subtle differences, but if you squinted enough you couldn’t really see them. 

The cracks blurred when you closed your eyes and kissed them away.

They had been for walks through the park, reminisced of old times, of walking Joe Friday, preparing for triathlons. They had eaten corndogs, sat in the back rows of movie theaters and the front row at ballgames. Steaming showers together, bubble baths, and bottles of bubbly. 

The passion was heightened everyday as both let go of inhibitions and trusted the other.

And then Jane had gone to an art gallery as well, it was icing on the cake. She had met Maura there, and just for Maura, she had dressed to the nines. A seductive strapless black dress that fitted her perfectly, it squeezed the top flesh of her breasts out on display. And it took Maura’s breath away completely. The length was enticing, the slit up the side bewitching, revealing so much soft olive toned skin. It had caught the eye of every man in the room and even a few of their wives. She looked delicious, and Maura spent more time looking at her than the art. In fact if you asked her what was on exhibition she couldn’t tell you. And when Jane sauntered around the gallery she felt burning between her legs, a pounding of desire and want. She knew she had stopped breathing. She remembered Jane gently taking her elbow and dragging her towards the ladies room, telling her to breathe, _please breathe_. Her legs had followed willingly and she had forced herself to obey.

And then in the ladies bathroom, she confirmed for herself just how delicious Jane was...it was an event made memorable for them both, Jane had literally taken her breath away before and after, with whispers in her ear and long caresses under her dress up her thigh to where she was wet and longing. With nibbles between her earlobe and her bosom. Her desire’s had been meet with her hands in Jane’s hair and Jane’s hands everywhere, long slender fingers that knew where she needed touched, lips between her legs making her crazy. And then she had made Jane crazy several times when they returned home in a rush and slightly disheveled. On the couch, against the wall in the hall and finally on the bed. Heavy panting and whispered confessions between them. Language that would make a priest blush. Unrestrained moans, not muffled with kisses, moans that would terrify small animals and make wolves howl nearby if there were any.

And the tastes, the willing tongues, lips, and sweet saliva...and the longing, the taste of want electrifying, impossible. She couldn't get enough. It should be illegal.

It had ended finally in complete exhaustion, and complete satisfaction. Damp hair and damp skin, heavy limbs, flushed faces, swollen lips, joyous fulfillment. And grins that could not be defined as anything other than delight.

It was paradise. It was how it was almost meant to be, should have been...

and then, just when it was perfect, it was ripped away from them....

* * *

 

...to be continued...


	36. Vengeance

**CHAPTER 36 - Vengeance**

* * *

_It was paradise. It was how it was almost meant to be, should have been..._

_and then, just when it was perfect, it was ripped away from them..._

Jane got a phone call the next afternoon, on a phone Maura didn't recognize, not that she had taken the time to pay much attention. She had mostly been thrilled that a whole week together was uninterrupted. That Jane was looking healthier, happier, more rested that she had seen her in the last ten weeks. No cuts or bruises. And Jane was happy too. Really happy.

But now there was an interruption that she knew would come eventually. She had overheard the end of the conversation between Jane and Shannon, she had just willed it would never come to fruition. Jane wasn't back to before but it was the happiest they had both been. At least Jane's guilt was lifted from what she could tell. The talk of vengeance she overheard had worried her and she had done everything within her power over the past week to distract Jane from thinking about it, hoping to replace herself with that desire. And now it appeared it had not worked. Jane was suddenly distant, disturbingly so.

And when Jane woke in the middle of the night that night, and instead of wandering Maura's backyard watching the stars and wondering how she had been so lucky, she was sitting in Maura's lounge, holding a document that linked her suffering to a name, and she was unsure what to do. Wondering if maybe she should run.

She was angry, her dreams had mixed with past memories. She had woken with Maura beside her, sweet Maura, gentle and untouched. Then the fear had threatened to steal her away, new fear, old fear...just fear. And now she was angry at the fear. So angry. And no amount of suffering she could inflict on her attackers would satisfy this fresh yet old anger right now. It was more than anger...It had flared up unexpectedly and it sought out the deepest recesses of her heart, the places where the love in her life had barely touched before. And yet she took relief in it, like an old friend she had lost. It was raw and sore and made her harder with pain, the pain became anger, anger became vengeance...I would try to take over and she would push it away briefly. But then the anger, once ignored, grew into rage...an incurable rage deep inside of her that cut at her like it was trying to find a way out of her body, it followed her blood around her body heating her from the inside, it raced around her organs making them tighten and it trickled around her nerves and she tingled, her nostrils flared, her lips curled and her brows clenched.

_Anger is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy dies_

A famous saying by someone who never fought the evil of the world of her lifetime, words spoken in peaceful times by people unharmed and unafraid. If she would die and it would kill them with her then she would gladly swallow any poison. She didn't care about herself, she couldn't care. The bitterness had sat too long. Too long and too much and it was overflowing, too quickly it was drowning her.

Tears burned in her eyes but never escaped and her jaw hurt from clenching it so tightly. But it was the pain in her chest that kept her holding onto it, a pain that stopped her dying but made it hard to breath, like a claw had clenched around her heart, squeezing just enough to remind her it was there without crushing it completely. It hurt.

And suddenly she wanted _his_ heart in _her_ hand. She wanted to squeeze it and watch him squirm in agony, his eyes wide in fear while his heart beats in her palm slowly dying. She wanted him to suffer more than she had, she wanted him to feel her pain for those four days plus the months of torment and fear he had caused her since. She wanted his freewill and his freedom snuffed out like a fuel-less flame.

She wanted him to die, slowly and painfully...or fast and brutal...she didn't care as long as he died.

The back of her throat hurt as if she had screamed bloody murder in his face for hours, screamed at him ever moment of hurt and pain, every second of fear, every tear that had fallen from her eyes, every breath she had taken in fear and every silent moment her mind had been unable to reassure her...All because of him.

_All because of him_

She slumped her head forward so her chin rested on her chest, her forehead resting against the wall. In that moment, a single tear managed to escape and trickled down the ridge of her cheek and onto her nose, leaving a wet glistening path, it travelled across the nasal bridge and suspended itself on the very tip of her nose. It stayed right there, it held it's own, until another tear followed it's path and she watched as the two conspired together becoming one large glistening ball and the weight causing it to loose it's grip, rolling forward and free-falling through the air in slow motion, loosing it's perfect shape as it morphed through the air, finally exploding in the middle of the paper in her hand causing the page itself to ripple from the centre outwards. I

t didn't land as a perfect round ball, and more like a deformed snowflake, a wet splodge on the surface of the page until it shrank, the paper greedily sucking it into its fibers, glistening at her and then dulling into only a darkened deformed spot.

She quickly rubbed her eye to prevent a third following the path of the other two escapees. She tried in vain to physically sniff away the internal self pity. Only it wasn't self pity, not really, she had endured hardship, deprivation and oppression and it had left a bleeding wound that could not be covered for long before the bandages themselves became soaked as well. She was only behaving justifiably righteously indignant.

_It wasn't right, it wasn't just, it wasn't fair._

She gritted her teeth as another wave of anger passed.

The damp spot stared up at her from the page, a page she had stared at for almost two hours now. A page with a name on it. The name of the person she wanted to scream at until she couldn't, punch until she was too weak, put her hands around his throat until his voice stopped in her mind.

_How can injustice prevail._

It was a quiet and low growl that escaped her tight lips and her knuckles turned white as the clenching restricted the blood flow slightly. She could feel the pounding of her heart through her entire body. And her throat tightened again painfully like she had sipped acid.

Her heart felt even more constricted and her chest hurt like her ribs were being crushed, another few tears managed to escape and she caught them this time, they had tried to follow the same wet path but she killed their plan as the palm of her hand crossed her cheek and over the bridge of her nose. She pulled it away and stared at her palm, now moist and glistening in the moonlight. She wanted to curse those tears, how they could run away so easily, so free, without a care in the world. How could they leave her like it didn't matter. How could they be so un-loyal.

_I am just too angry to cry right now._

And as suddenly as the thought passed her mind she stopped crying. And her throat hurt a little less. And the clenching on her heart eased a little. She felt somehow calmer. The rage had gone, the anger had become manageable.

She swallowed painfully and relaxed her body.

She looked at the page again, the spot still there but disassociated from her. It had been the first cathartic release in weeks, and she hated it. She buried it, it was not hers. She almost felt better and she hated that too. She hated having no control over her emotions, how her body, her chest and tear-ducts, had a mind of their own.

She wiped her hand along her thigh to dry it and looked at it again

_I could kill him with these hands. I should kill him with these hands. Hands that are already scared by injustice. What difference would it make. What would I gain. What would I loose_

This time the memories of her past didn't constrict her heart, maybe she was getting stronger, or getting better, or just getting harder

She clenched her jaw again

_The world would be better off without him_

Shannon's last words bounced around in her head, _'Killing him won't change anything that happens in the world, Jay, it won't stop any wars, any suffering, any pain. It might not even make your pain any less, or any less terrifying. Sure he will be missed, sure someone else won't suffer at his hand...but that doesn't mean they will suffer any less at the next persons hand. Somebody else will take his place, his title, his job description. The tangled web is bigger than one strand between two connecting points...it is a thousand strands between a hundred points. If you do this it is entirely about you and it will be your mess to clean up, you alone will have to live with the consequences. Be sure this is what you really want before you do anything."_

She hated how Shannon could take something so perfect, so decided, so righteous and justified...and cast doubt on it.

Sweet justice so easily undermined, ruined.

She had searched for this man, this Smith, for weeks, she had found him, she could kill him...and now she was doubting her options. She was hard, she wanted to be hard, she needed to be hard to survive this.

Could she be with Maura and still be this self-poisoned person.

Her imagination had already spent hours torturing her enemies. She had discovered doors within her mind that she had not opened before, doors that once opened could never close again. And she had already walked through them.

From imagining his suffering to causing it was such a small step she couldn't see how it would even made a difference.

He was in her grasp, now was the time.

And that's precisely when Maura found her, walking into her lounge in the middle of the night to find Jane hunched against the wall. Walking into the middle of an invisible battlefield that had just been conquered by one side. It was bad timing to say the least, the worst timing really...

"I don't want to loose you Jane." Maura blurted out to the hunched over Jane on the floor

The voice surprised her and she reacted with the disappearing emotions still lingering nearby, "Maura sheesh, If you lost me it was the day they took me. And if that's the case, well then I'm gone for good...alright?" Jane had never snapped at Maura quite like this and it almost confirmed Maura's fears. Jane pushed herself off the ground and stood at her full height, she was defiant, arms crossed and anger lingered in her eyes.

Maura shuddered at the sight, and then she got angry too, "If I lost you, Jane, it's because I _never_ had you. And I loose you every night in my dreams. I dream you are gone and I am drenched in your blood. A reoccurring nightmare for days now. I thought they would take you again and I would loose you, I thought that's what the dreams meant. But they don't do they. They aren't about them taking you away from me." her tone was fierce, low and frustrated.

Jane's eyes are wide in surprise, her own anger taking a back foot as a hint of concern flushes her face

"No Jane," Maura practically spits at her not giving her the chance to respond, "It's really about you destroying yourself. Losing yourself to this infatuation, this mission you've given yourself. And to what end? What's your end game? Or are you really believing after he is dead you will just go back to the way things were before?"

Her arms cross on her chest mimicking Jane, waiting for a response.

Jane's arms drop meekly at her side and her shoulders slump slightly like a child who has just been punished. She forces her anger away, she does not want direct at Maura what she just got control of...she won't.

"What Jane? What comes next?" Maura pushes unrelentingly. It was all she could do. She had asked Shannon to talk some sense into Jane or to stop her that day before Jane took her home, She begged him to push Jane away, deter her, but he indicated Jane wouldn't listen to him and that it wasn't his place to tell her how to live, how to deal with what she went through.

But once upon a time Jane had listened to Maura, sometimes only Maura and no-one else, so she had to try everything she could.

"The ' _next_ ' never mattered before." Jane finally replies hanging her head and staring only at the floor, "I don't know _how_ I will feel when it is done."

"This will be killing in cold blood Jane. This isn't some murderer you have to catch, it isn't going to be in self defense. This will be pre-meditated _murder_ Jane."

"I know that." She replies to the floor frustration in her voice, realizing only now how much Maura really knew and kept to herself.

"This will _change_ you." Maura pushes trying to hold back her own tears

Jane looks up, a glint of hurt is in her eyes, or anger, and she glares at Maura, and she snaps "Well maybe I _want_ to be changed" her tone is bitter and Maura steps back in surprise

_Being changed might hurt less_

All Maura can think to say, to stop Jane, is "I don't want you too change Jane."

And Jane huffs and turns to leave, "I already did" she growls under her breath as she walks away.

"Jane wait, please." Maura begs, her voice breaking

Jane pauses and turns slowly, it's the least she can do. She looks at Maura, eyes wet with unshed tears, face saddened in defeat.

She is sorry, but she does not feel guilty.

"One last kiss, please." Maura whispers, and her bottom lip quivers as she wrings her hands in front of her

Jane frowns, trying to understand Maura, herself, everything.

She walks to Maura, leans in closely brushing the side of her face gently with her fingers. Then she cups Maura's chin and takes the quivering lips carefully between her own, she is gentle, she wishes she could make both of their pain go away.

Maura moans softly and her hands automatically slide up Jane's back

The kiss is intense and deep and Maura almost forgets where she is and what she might be about to loose

"I love you" Jane breathes onto her jaw as the kiss breaks, her voice hoarse with desperation.

"I love you too" Maura replies without hesitation.

She pulls away from Jane, "I really love you", she repeats just to be clear.

Jane smiles slightly, a mixture of emotions still emanating from her but her eyes are softer

"Stay, please stay", Maura whispers holding Jane tighter in an embrace

"I'm here"

* * *

 

He was gruesome, his features were ugly because his heart was evil. His lips curled in a cruel mocking grin. His eyes danced with victory.

He laughed at Jane, his vocal chords vibrating in his throat.

Jane took the safety off her gun and raised her aim up from his chest to his head.

"I _am_ Smith to you" he mocked her, taunted her

Jane shuddered at the sound of his voice, the memories surging through her mind and her body fighting to not react, not throw up, and especially not to cry. His voice she had managed to disassociate until this moment and the sick feeling in her stomach makes her mind feel hazy.

She had finally found him, after months of searching. She could now see his face instead of being blinded by a light. She wasn't tied to a chair anymore. She hadn't lost her power, he had. The roles were reversed.

"You cannot destroy me Jane, another will replace me and you will have achieved nothing" his voice has a hint of amusement to it and Jane want's him to hurt for it, "The cabal is more powerful than you or even the entire population of sheeple, there's nothing you can do anything about anything. We are centuries in the making, planning a one world government since before the beginning of the founding of America. You cannot stop it. It is funded beyond comprehension, endorsed by those you vote to run the country."

His laugh is painful to every fibre of her being

"You know how funny it is. You are all slaves and you don't even know it. People work from 9 to 5 every day, in boring and depressing environments, not stimulated by anything creative or constructive, the sole motivation is the next paycheck. And no matter how hard they work they will never have enough money. You are all slaves and we decide for you...everyday. You are just sheep that follow our leading."

Jane grips her gun so tight in rage she fears it might go off before she is ready. She want's him to shut up but his rambling makes her feel good. It tells her something, something that makes her feel good, make's her feel whole... **He is afraid**.

"Most of the major wars, political upheavals, and economic depression and recessions of the past 100 years were carefully planned and instigated by us. The Spanish-American War, World War I and World War II, The Great Depression, the Bolshevik Revolution, the Rise of Nazi Germany, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the fall of Soviet Communism, the 1991 Gulf War, the War in Kosovo and the two Iraq wars. Even the French Revolution was orchestrated into existence by elements of the new world order."

She wonders if he knows she is recording this, or cares, or if it will even do anything. No one would believe the confession of a man about to die like this wasn't staged.

She wonder's if anyone who listens to it later will hear the pride in his voice, like he has won. She wonders if anyone listening would think he had the loaded gun on her and was a confession before killing her instead of the other way around. She wonders why he is telling her this. She wonders when he will shut up.

She checks over her shoulder, maybe he still has the upper hand and she just isn't seeing the game yet. But there's no one there. They seem to still be alone. Except Shannon who is somewhere nearby in the otherwise abandoned building hopefully finding some more hidden documents to help him in his cause.

"The CIA was created to hide the amassed gold from World War two. Amassing fortunes began in the 12th Century when only a core group of nine members of the Knights Templar, kicked off the The Crusades that lasted for over a century and a half. The acquisition and consolidation of ever greater wealth, natural resources, total political power, and control over others are the motivating forces which drive the decisions of the leaders. The toll in human suffering and the loss of innocent lives are non issues for us."

He shows his teeth in a snide grin that makes her want to punch him in the face till he is toothless and stops breathing. She holds her breath and counts down from 10.

"We are many and you are nothing. Knowledge isn't power. People are power...and we collect people."

She stares at him now wondering if he can feel her hate, "I found you...I am not interested in anyone else." She speaks slowly her voice unwavering.

"Kill me and another will rise up in my place and you will have achieved NOTHING!"

_Nothing_

Jane knows he is right but she doesn't care, after months of searching she has him and she cannot just walk away defeated. He must and will pay.

"Well I will just have to buy more bullets then won't I. Because after I kill you I will kill the next guy after that and the one after that."

"It doesn't matter, Jane. We control it all. We are interested solely in power. Not wealth or long life or happiness: only power, pure power. Power is not a means; it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. And _you have no power_."

She knows he is trying to get her to bite, to react. It would be his dying wish that she hurts again.

"I will protect the people I care about, You will pay." Jane's voice is shaky, it infuriates her that she sounds as weak as she suddenly feels. That he is getting to her, that his words terrify her as much as his voice.

"It will destroy you." He laughs contentedly

The air is tense and still and Jane ponders her response

_While seeking revenge dig two graves...one for them and one for yourself._

"I am _already_ destroyed," Jane finally says confidently staring him in the eye, her fear has vanished, and she has let go. Whatever this does to her she is willing to accept it, whatever changes, whatever she has to loose. Now all that remains is righteous anger.

The smile in his eyes disappears slowly and realization dawns on him that she doesn't care now, they took too much from her and there is nothing left for her to live for, nothing left to lose. Taking away a persons hope is a dangerous thing, right now it is dangerous for him.

"And I will keep on taking out as many of _you_ as I can, I will dedicate my life to it if I have too. I may not be able to stop or even slow your plan but I will be a nuisance to your 'cabal' as long as I breathe"

She smiles at him, sweetly, sympathetically, "Evil will not prevail while I can do something about it." her eyes look fierce, like they burn, she has her spark back, her vitality.

"Then do it already" he mocks, defeated he knows but enjoying tormenting her still, "A bullet travels 4000 feet per second, four times faster than the speed of light. I won't feel anything."

She stares at him, waiting for...something...she isn't sure but surely a corrupt and evil man maybe shouldn't get away with everything he has done so lightly. To leave the world quickly and painlessly. If she has him arrested he will be free tomorrow and she will be dead.

_I want his heart in my hand. I want to squeeze it and watch him squirm in agony, his eyes wide in fear while his heart beats in my palm slowly dying. I want him to suffer more than I did, I want him to feel my pain for those four days plus the months of torment and fear he had caused me since._

Smith watches her intently, glee over his face. He knows either way he will haunt her dreams forever, "I tortured you for hours, I laughed in you face, I watched you plead like a child. Laughed when you passed out and waited to do it _all over again._ "

She feels the hairs bristle on the back of her neck.

_I want him to die, slowly and painfully...or fast and brutal...I don't care as long as he dies._

"Then we weakened you and played with your head. And your plan is _just_ to shoot me? kill me with a bullet." He scoffs, "You are as pathetic now as you were when you were gasping for air and promising me _anything_ to stop. Pathetic and weak. The least you can do -"

Her subtle smile is the last thing he see's before the tiny piece of metal enters his head, forcing its way through bone and soft tissue and lodging itself in the hard skull on the other side of his body.

His apparent shock is the last thing Jane sees, however briefly, before his skull is shattered and he collapses to the ground and never willingly moves again.

Turning away she mumbles to herself, "The least I can do is _not_ become like you."

It had begun over blood, she had been told to let it be...to let sleeping dogs lie...and she had refused. Now it ended over blood and the dogs would not sleep again for some time.

It ended like it had begun. She did feel better, if only slightly. But his rant had given her something...it had given her purpose, purpose like Shannon had, Like Incognito had. Like so many others she had heard of had, others she world never meet, some she might. Purpose to make a difference.

And when Shannon blew the building up behind them, It was like thunderclaps, brilliant flashes of lights and explosions erupting all around then. Sounds like gunfire fractured the air and hisses and pops of shrapnel flying out in every direction. The booms making their hearts pound. The array so loud and instantaneous her hearing blurred into a murmur, hot and damp like cotton balls in her ears, she hoped it wasn't blood.

"Run" she heard beside her, Shannon was screaming at the top of his lungs, but it sounded like a whisper, she ran after him. They ran as fast as they possibly could. The heat was right on her heels like a wolf on rabbit. She hadn't worried until the warmth struck her elbows and shins, a tiny reminder how fragile life was, where she had come form and where she was going. And as he sped around the nearest corner she was right behind him, amazed nothing had hit either of them.

And when they rolled to a shop sheltered from the blaze and the explosions they were both laughing. It was exhilarating. Death had nibbled their heels and they lived to tell the tale. And they laughed until they cried, holding their sides, stopping only when it hurt to laugh anymore.

"Too early and too much" Shannon yelled mostly because he was deaf himself and Jane nodded.

"Awesome. We _have_ to do that again... right?" He is a kid at heart, and Jane's smirk is as large as his.

She has black smudges over her face and clean streaks from her cheeks to her chin where she had cried laughing so hard. "Have you ever done that before?"

He shakes his heard and chuckles, "No, I probably should have done a test run. Incognito said there would be more than enough C4 on 5 minute timers. I guess more than enough really meant _more_ than enough." Jane gives him a wary look. It had been close, too close. If they did it again they would definitely have to be more careful.

"I know, I know." he says but the smile never leaves him.

"It sure was a hollywood ending..." Jane leans back against a crate watching the burning flames reflecting on the water in the harbour, "...If we weren't running and screaming and falling it would have been rather cinematic I think. Our silhouettes against that display you put on."

They chuckle

"We got em good Jay. And these now...slightly burned documents...have uncovered some deeper links to pedophile rings." He smiles, his eye's are still glassy, probably from the smoke. Or maybe adrenaline.

She can still hardly hear him but she hears enough and nods

"They were about to take someone else, Jay. Did you recognize the building?"

She hadn't, she hadn't really looked. She had been so focused on the task at hand.

"It was empty but I think it is where they held you."

She gulps and sits up straighter trying to recall. The fluorescent lit corridors, concrete floors, metal doors. Rooms empty of everything. She had seen it briefly as they had raced the basement corridors to the upper levels. It might have been the same place, or another similar place. How many secret locations they had was anyones guess.

"Maybe" She whispered

Lou's car drove up beside them a few minutes later and they climbed in, still high on adrenaline. Lou was saying something quietly as they headed back towards town, but neither could hear him.

"Mission accomplished" Jane yelled at them both raising her hand for a high five.

She was changed for sure, she knew it now, she was a new person, a person with a purpose that wasn't revenge, and wasn't walking fury and fear anymore.

And now she was going home...

* * *

**_If the New World Order types had some kindness, some humanity, some morality, perhaps One World Government is what we need. But mainly these are nasty people with a lust for money and a ruthless disregard for human suffering. Sadly this is all made possible by a mainstream media that is owned and controlled by these very forces. Because the people who own media choose wherever it is that the light is to be shone. So the same stories and the same sound bites across six media conglomerates constitutes what the public is to learn about their world and their country."_ **

**Chris Pratt from his movie "Deception"**

* * *

...to be continued...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go peeps. If you don't like it...too bad, you should have said something earlier. I'm going on sheer determination to complete this since there aren't many comments pushing me on. Your comment's are my fuel dang it... say something. lol. To those who have commented I have definitely directed the ending that way...so thank you and hope you love it.


	37. Finality

 

CHAPTER 37 - Finality

* * *

_She was changed for sure, she knew it now, she was a new person, a person with a purpose that wasn't revenge, and wasn't walking fury and fear anymore._

_5 Months later..._

"You have Macrocephaly." Maura states slightly annoyed at being stopped on her way from the bar to the booth where her friends are waiting by a man with halitosis and who in her opinion is far too forward.

"Is that another word for charm?" asks the dark haired stranger flirting openly with Maura. He looks her up and down and licks his lips, she is dressed as usual in a designer dress that clings to her just right, and he wiggles his eyebrows. She stares him up and down right back but her face reflects disgust. She glances over his shoulder and see's Jane watching the interaction from their usual booth at the Dirty Robber, her eyebrow raised and an amused smirk on her face.

"No", Maura sighs loudly, "It means your head is proportionately larger than it should be for your body."

"Oh...ahhh...well" he stutters looking confused, "My, um, drink needs a-a refill. It was, um, nice talking to you." he politely adds before turning tail and bolting.

"Likewise." Maura replies politely as he departs.

As she sits down in the booth and smooths out her skirt, Jane puts her arm possessively around Maura's shoulders and leans into her, "Maur', did you just tell that guy he has a big head?"

Maura looks shocked and offended, "No. Jane. Of course not. I told him that his...ohhh...yes, I see, I guess I did." she stifles a laugh.

Jane chuckles, "You're so badass. I'm glad you don't pick on me like that" her dimples are deep and her eyes sparkle with joy and it makes Maura warm inside to witness it. Jane looks so happy and content, and it's been a long time and a lot of pain and fighting for her to get to this place.

"Well I guess It's because I kinda like you" Maura winks and nudges into Jane with her shoulder

Jane crinkles her nose, "Well I guess I _kinda_ like you too then."

Their eye sex exchange is broken by Korsak laughing from across the table, Jane had missed his laugh, "We all _like_ you Jane, and welcome back...Detective Rizzoli."

"It's only part time." Jane eyeballs him her face serious

"We know you're only back because you get lonely without Maura," He winks and fist bumps with Frankie who has been hiding his smirk until now, "But we don't care the _reason_ why."

Jane rubs her thumb slowly over her badge, over the shield that symbolizes protecting and serving that rests comfortably on her hip again. "It's good to be back." She smiles contentedly. And Korsak, Frankie, Nina all clink their glasses together with Maura "To Jane" they say together and Jane pushes her beer into the cluster with a smile and a squeeze of Maura's shoulders.

She is so happy, happy to be back, to know everyone is ok, to see the joy in their faces.

Angela can be heard laughing as she makes her way across the Dirty Robber dropping off drinks along her path until she arrives at their booth, "I'm so proud of you Janie," she reaches out and holds Jane's hand for a moment her eyes getting slightly glassy, "So _so_ proud." The looks between them are full of joy and gratitude and relief.

"Thank's Ma. Can you join us?"

"In a few minutes baby. Anyone here need anything else?"

Outwardly it would appear Jane has returned to the world of the living. The growing, expanding system that has functioned as it has for almost three millennium. Outwardly she appears to have taken the blue pill like most of the population. The job, the house and a blue collar nine till five working class that keeps the system functioning like a clock.

But on the inside, it is a totally different story. She will keep digging, keep looking for the truth, and fighting evil where it gets too close to her. Make a difference where she can...serve and protect against those that do not care about human life.

Jane's phone buzzes on her hip and she pulls out her phone and flips it open to read the text, it's from Shannon

_'_ _Tomorrow night it's on. 1130. Pickup as usual. See both you girls there'_

She holds it towards Maura to read getting a nod of agreement, and she puts it away again. The twinkle in her eyes mischievous.

Maura squeezes her hand and kisses her cheek and her smile grows bigger.

'I love you' she mouths to Maura.

That night, 5 weeks ago, after Smith, after they had taken down one of the buildings in question, she had gone home and Maura was waiting at the door, arms outstretched, ready to receive her, be there for her, without question. And she knew it would always be that way. They would always be there for each other, they were drawn to each other. They needed each other to breathe.

That night Jane had fallen into her outstretched arms and had finally opened up and explained it all to Maura only leaving out a few details. And Maura had accepted most of it, or taken it on board to review or process later. She comforted Jane where needed.

And they had made promises...promises to do whatever needed done together, or at least with the other person knowing.

Maura loved the idea of being a duo

* * *

_"We are Rizzoli and Isles" she had laughed_

_"Oh. You don't want to be Batman and Robin huh? What about Thelma and Louise...you can be Louise". Jane had responded_

_She had put her arms around Jane's shoulders and kissed her on the cheek softly, and in her most seductive voice she whispered in Jane's ear, "I will be whoever you want me to be..._ ** _Detective_**. _" Jane responded with a deep growl of arousal and the topic of names was completely forgotten._

* * *

Jane the secret crime fighter who came home to her everyday or night. She wasn't so keen on herself being labelled the sidekick...but then again Jane needed her intelligence and lab and what is a secret hero without a genius companion.

And so far Jane had kept her promise...other than a few headlines the Maura outright questioned Jane about...

_Three CIA dead during investigation - no suspects_

_FBI still investigating 4 suicides of government officials from last month_

_CIA executive quits during inquisition into federal reserve, not been seen since_

Jane had blamed Shannon with a cheeky grin on her face.

But they had finally resolved their differences with communication, Jane promising to be transparent in the future, it had been a hard habit for her to break after being solo for so long. And eventually it worked, and they were a team.

They were Rizzoli and Isles and they would be in every way. At work, at home, and out on secret missions with the team.

Together they would catch murderers and solve crimes for the Boston Police Department, and together they will use the resources they now have at their disposal to fight the hidden hand that secretly threatens to harm all life on earth. Together they will use the system that pays them to fight the creators of  that very system . Just like Incognito and Shannon and the hundreds of others out there they will all work towards freedom and truth. They will not turn away and leave things alone, they will not close their eyes to secrets hidden in plain sight, of money and power and bloodlines and corrupt rulers that want to control and oppress in secret, in the shadows.

'I love you too' Maura mouths back and her own dimples show and her eyes twinkle back. It took Maura more persuasion than most to accept the world was different than it appeared, than she had been taught. To take the red pill as they call it. A challenge for her to accept that most drug studies were written by the companies pushing their own products for profits. She loved science, always did and always would. 'Facts just make sense' she would say, and then, one day, after digging around, after a heated debate with Shannon, the science just stopped working. It stopped working when she realized that the publications of hypothesis and theories as facts was being called science even though multiple testings did not always produce the same results. When the research doctors that used to be part of those companies convinced her it was not as black and white as the text in those magazines. The ones that lost their jobs because they disagreed with the publication of results or that the interpretation or analysis did not match up with the results gathered. The ones that refused bribes and requested re-tests...or threatened to go public with the real results.

_"The FDA determines something safe or unsafe based on the documents given to them by the companies that have tested their own products. And also by the size of the bribe. They are never going to not push a product that makes them rich. Especially when federal laws protect companies from public liability. Why else were DDT's said to be safe and put in hundreds of products only too be secretly recalled many years later after people started getting sick from them. And there are hundreds of other organisations that claim to be looking out for the best interests of human beings, but in reality are only concerned with lining their own pockets."_ Shannon had produced so many documents to back up his many statements that Maura had felt physically ill for days. He had talked about drugs and vaccines, the levels of mercury in flu shots, GMO's and the rats that died in secret being tested with them, Monsanto the food company that was a poison company first, the discovery of artificial sweeteners in a chemical explosion. He had persuaded her with evidence and true irrefutable science. She had been unable to prove him wrong, and the more she tried to look for flaws or rebuttals the less she believed they existed.

And it had changed her, she had blossomed in confidence, she had surpassed her teachers and kept them on their toes. She had exceeded genius. She was a mastermind.

And so here she was, beside Jane, ready for whatever challenge they would face next.

Together they are more than one...they are a team that is even bigger than the two of them alone. They are part of a growing awakening that is ready to stand up and fight for truth and freedom and there is no cost so great that will stop them. The New world Order will become harder and harder to obtain for those that wish for it to exist.

* * *

 

The wind whips at her hair, flicking dark tresses across her olive skin. She wraps her bare arms around her hunched shoulders bracing against the cold. The view is stunning, the night sky in all it's twinkling glory. Standing in the dark facing the bitter night, she feels like batman watching for the beam...the beacon, she is ready, glaring stubbornly into the face of danger.

For just a moment she feels brave and indestructable almost feels like she used to, a time long ago. A time when things appeared black and white, when justice was just and fear was fleeting. A time before she lost a piece of herself, a sliver stolen by fear, destroyed by revenge.

That time was gone now, but she also recalled that the her of the past had shamefully saved herself, saved Maura. She wasn't that person anymore and maybe it was a good thing. She wasn't who she used to be and she couldn't get it back even if she wanted, not completely, by winning she had still lost something.

If she had to do it over she wouldn't change a thing. She had no regrets. She might have lost something, but she had gained so much more.

She had almost become like them in her attempt to stop them, but now she was fighting a silent war.

The group had grown. Everyday she knew could be her last. And she knew she was making a difference.

_Sometimes the end did justify the means._

Maura's arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

_How does she always know I'm here._

"Are you alright?"

Maura nods into her back and holds tighter, "I am, I just missed you."

"No more dreams?"

Maura sighs contently, "No, I just missed you."

Jane smiles and turns in Maura's arms holding her tight, "I'm here, Maur'. Forever."

* * *

**"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."**

**Ephesians 6:12**

* * *

 

THE END

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments both positive and negative are welcomed, I can always get improve.
> 
> Thank you to those that have commented and encouraged me on. I am truly grateful.
> 
> Writing this was a journey of it's own and I have enjoyed it and learnt so much.
> 
> I never expected to research so much deeper than what I already knew and I've learnt a bunch, also aware i'll probably learn more on my own journey and wish i'd known it when writing this so I could have put it in. Ahhh hindsight. I also know this touches on a lot of unpopular topics.  
> Never forget that the truth is out there, you only have to look.

**Author's Note:**

> written characters are fictitious,  
> locations are real but written events did not happen at these locations  
> quotes are genuine and unaltered  
> Some persons referenced within the story are real people  
> Event's referenced in the story are likely real events  
> The plot is fictitious  
> the concepts are not...it's up to you to determine it's validity.  
> 


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